


Winter Love

by AlxSteele



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: (kind of), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Bittersweet, Eventual Happy Ending, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Light Smut, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, Love, Love at First Sight, M/M, Malec, Mutual Pining, New Year's Eve, New Years, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Slow Burn, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Winter Romance, and other pains, it's complicated - Freeform, like it's mostly hinted at, not explicit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-02-27 04:31:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 45,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13240479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlxSteele/pseuds/AlxSteele
Summary: Every winter, Magnus flies to New York to be with Alec, the man he fell in love with one fateful New Years. Every winter, they fall more in love with each other and every winter, Magnus leaves to go back to London.One week. That’s what they have. One week every winter. A whirlwind romance, messy emotions, maybe love. For one week and then they pretend to forget all about it. Over the course of six years, can Magnus and Alec figure out what exactly they mean to each other or are they doomed to be nothing more than each other’s winter lovers?*TEMPORARILY ABANDONED but does have a mostly tied up ending as is*





	1. Chance Meetings

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR! I have no chill. I just want to get that out of the way now. All of my chill is officially gone. I don't have time to write this and yet here I am, posting the first chapter. *sigh*
> 
> This started as an angsty Christmas fic but it’s more an angsty new years/wintery fic. It was inspired by [only-1-a on tumblr](http://only-1-a.tumblr.com/) when she sent me an ask because apparently, we were both thinking that Winter Wonderland is an angsty Malec song. (it really is okay!?) Thanks for accidentally prompting me again, darling! This got out of control fast because as I said, I have no chill.
> 
> You can yell at me on [Tumblr @imawriteriwrite](http://imawriteriwrite.tumblr.com/) and if you want to live tweet or anything, I'd love it if you tagged your tweets #alxsteele so I can see it! <3

It was the day after Christmas and, for whatever reason, Alec found himself dressed up in his nicest suit at an art gallery opening. This wasn’t a place the twenty-five-year-old veterinarian would normally find himself no matter what day of the year it was but his brother’s fiancée was a featured artist and, to be honest, Alec hadn’t been able to come up with an excuse to get out of coming. The worst part, in Alec’s opinion, wasn’t the somewhat snooty people that half filled the place, nor was it the boring music played lightly in the background or the fact that Alec couldn’t get a drink to save his life as every time one of the waiters carrying champagne around the room passed him, their tray was empty. No. The worst part by far was that he’d been abandoned.

Standing off to the side near some strange abstract painting that Alec didn’t get but could admit looked fairly interesting, he glanced around the large bottom floor of the gallery once again but couldn’t spot a single person he knew. Clary had dragged Jace off to meet some artist she was dying to see, while Simon and Isabelle had wandered off looking for food with a promise to be back soon. That was forty-five minutes ago.

Alec was just considering making a swift exist — he’d come up with some excuse to tell the others in the morning, a kitten emergency perhaps? Or feigned digestive distress? — when his eyes landed on someone across the room. Alec couldn’t say what pulled his gaze to the man, what about him made Alec stand up straighter and take notice. It would be easy to say it was his hair that was pushed up and back with a few bright red strands, or his clothes, tight and black, his shirt made of some shimmery fabric that shined under the low lights of the gallery, low cut and showing off the bronzed skin of his chest with necklaces of various lengths flashing against the folds of his shirt. Or that it was the rings that glinted on his fingers as he loosely held a glass of champagne that had caught Alec’s eyes. He could say it was how beautiful the other man was, his neck was long, head tilted back to look up at the elaborate chandelier that hung in the middle of the gallery, sending sparkling light throughout the three-story building and shadows over the man’s striking face. Yet, it was none of that and all of that that caught Alec’s attention. Something pulled Alec’s gaze to him, had him looking still. He couldn’t say what it was for sure, but he felt a small shock go through him, something in him ringing with recognition as he looked at the other man.

Alec wasn’t normally the most forward person. His sister often liked to point out how Alec was much better equipped to deal with animals than people, often citing that for the reason he’d become a vet rather than a doctor. Still, despite that, when the man looked down, gaze seeming drawn to Alec’s, Alec didn’t flush at getting caught staring and he didn’t look away.

The man’s eyes flashed, looking almost gold from the light of the chandelier. Another shock went through Alec and he shivered, feeling as well as seeing the man’s eyes roam up and down him. There was a buzz going through Alec’s nerve endings, his blood growing hotter as the man looked at him, clearly smirking by the time he finished examining Alec. Feeling brave, Alec arched an eyebrow when their eyes met again, like he was asking if the man liked what he saw. The man’s eyes shined as he raised his own eyebrow back.

Alec had forgotten where he was and didn’t realize he was barely breathing until a waiter stopped next to him, staring at him with mild concern.

“Are you alright, sir?”

Alec glanced over sharply, inhaling slowly before exhaling. He nodded, grabbing a glass of champagne and turning back to the man. Alec frowned, looking around but it was no use. He was gone.

“Looking for me?”

***

Magnus was only in New York for one night and he’d only come because Catarina had practically forced him. She’d been the one to show his art to the woman who owned the small but prestigious New York gallery. She’d arranged the whole thing and then insisted that Magnus had to go to New York — the day after Christmas when he should be home, in his pajamas, doing nothing productive — to see it in person. Something about it being a big deal and Magnus should be proud and ‘ _i will not let you miss this moment, Magnus Bane’._ And, well, Cat was scary so here he was. He’d told himself it was business, maybe he’d find something good to take back to one of his clients in London while he was there, and that made it slightly more bearable.

Magnus had only been to New York a handful of times. When his mom and he moved to the states when he was young, they settled down in California and Magnus had lived there until moving to London a few years before. While he traveled quite a bit, he’d never been overly fond of New York, despite its amazing art scene. In Magnus’ mind that was the only redeeming quality of the city.

It seemed like an awful lot of trouble to come all the way here for one night, only to leave again in the morning. At least there was free champagne, Magnus thought, wandering around the gallery. He took note of a few pieces, filing names away to look up later as he walked around. He avoided small talk as often as possible despite these being his kind of people. He met a lovely young redhead who’d done a beautiful painting of the New York skyline and talked to her a bit before moving on.

Magnus stopped near the center of the gallery, tilting his head back to look at the chandelier which was a piece of art all its own. He was considering calling it quits, he’d seen his work hung on the wall, lingered about to hear people talking about him — saying mostly good things, he’d been pleased to note — and mingled a bit, that was all he’d promised to do and he’d rather go back to his hotel and sleep off the jet lag than linger any longer if he were being honest. He tilted his head, watching how the glass of the chandelier further reflected the light of the gallery when he suddenly shivered. It took Magnus a minute to recognize the feeling but, slowly, he became aware of someone watching him.

Looking over, he caught the eye of a strikingly handsome man across the gallery, a brief shock of electricity passing between them as their eyes locked. Magnus’ breath hitched in his throat for a moment, as his fingertips tingled. He narrowed his eyes, wondering if he was seeing things. The man was the living embodiment of tall, dark, and handsome. His hair in slight disarray over what Magnus assumed were beautiful wide eyes. He was dressed smartly in tight black pants, a green button-down, and a black tie. No jacket.

Magnus was surprised when the other man didn’t immediately look away once he was caught staring. Intrigued, Magnus let his eyes roam up and down the other man, feeling his interest piqued. He looked back into the other man’s eyes, smirking. The other man still didn’t look away, simply arching an eyebrow like he was asking Magnus if he liked what he saw.

Smirking wider, Magnus matched his look, raising his own eyebrow. He couldn’t say what it was that made him cross the room as the other man was distracted by a waiter. It was true that the other man was beautiful, but it was more than that, something intangible in the air suddenly, making the hairs on Magnus’ arm raise, having Magnus linger even though he had no intention of finding a one-night stand to fill the rest of his night in New York City. There was a feeling in his gut though, quite suddenly, something he’d never felt before, a mixture of intrigue and excitement and a knowing, deep down, that right this moment, this was exactly where he was supposed to be.

Magnus stood to the side, hidden behind a group of well-dressed men who looked thoroughly bored, watching as the dark-haired man looked back to the spot Magnus had been standing, frowning when he couldn’t find Magnus.

Magnus lingered a moment, biting back a smile before slipping around the obnoxious men, stopping next to Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome. He fixed a knowing smirk on his face, eyes twinkling before clearing his throat. “Looking for me?” Magnus asked, voice low and flirtatious.

Jerking slightly, the man turned to Magnus. Magnus’ heart skipped, distracting him for a moment because what was with that? But he was right, the man did have beautiful eyes. Wide, rimmed with thick lashes, a bright hazel Magnus could easily get lost in.

Magnus’ smirk widened as the other man opened and closed his mouth, seeming at a loss for words. Magnus stuck his hand out, unconsciously swaying his shoulders back and forth the slightest bit, something Ragnor would call him out on if he were there, saying it was the equivalent of batting his eyelashes.

“I’m Magnus Bane,” he said.

The other man’s eyes dropped to Magnus’ hand before meeting Magnus’ eyes again. “A-Alec,” he stuttered, grabbing Magnus’ hand in a firm grip that sent a shiver down Magnus’ spine. “Alec Lightwood.”

Magnus smiled up at him, keeping his hand for longer than strictly necessary. Alec didn’t seem to notice, not making a move to drop Magnus’ hand nor look away. Maybe New York wasn’t so bad after all, Magnus thought, glancing briefly at their hands before returning his gaze to Alec’s wide hazel eyes.

“So, Alec,” Magnus said, testing out the name on his tongue. Eyes dropping when Alec’s tongue darted out, licking his lips. Magnus swallowed, forcing his eyes back up. “Are you an artist or are you here with one?” he asked, a thinly veiled attempt to find out if Alec were there alone.

Alec chuckled softly, finally letting Magnus’ hand go. Magnus just stopped himself from pouting at the loss of contact. Stretching at his fingers, feeling the ghost of Alec’s touch linger a little longer, making Magnus’ heart do strange things.

“I’m here with one,” Alec said. Magnus’ smile stuttered for a moment, heart sinking slightly until Alec quickly continued. “My brother’s fiancée,” he clarified. “She’s around here somewhere with him and my sister and her boyfriend. I was ditched.”

“Ah,” Magnus said, frowning sympathetically. “I guess that’s good for me though.”

“Oh?” Alec asked.

Magnus nodded. “I’m here alone,” he explained. “I was hoping there was a knight in shining armor somewhere to keep me company, but I guess you’ll work. If you’re up for it?”

A smile played across Alec’s mouth. He cleared his throat, licking his lips once again before nodding seriously, jaw set. “I think I could be persuaded,” he said.

Magnus turned, gesturing for them to walk. “Shall we?”

Alec’s hazel eyes shone bright in the gallery as he stared at Magnus, nodding slowly. “We shall.”

***

“So what about you?” Alec asked as he and Magnus slowly walked through the gallery.

“Hmm?” Magnus asked, eyes narrowed on a strange piece of art hanging on the wall. It looked strangely like a toilet. Alec had been trying to avoid it all night since he and Jace nearly fell over laughing when they first saw it.

“Are you an artist?” Alec clarified.

Magnus continued examining the toilet-like sculpture before turning away. He looked at Alec, holding his hand up, palm toward the ground before tilting it from side to side. “Kind of?” he finally settled on, pointing with his glass of champagne to the next sculpture. “What do you think that is?”

Alec turned to look, answering without thinking. “A penis.”

Magnus, who’d been about to take a drink of champagne, snorted, raising his free hand to stifle his laughter, eyes wide and shining with amusement as he turned to Alec.

Alec flushed, suddenly realizing what he’d said. “I mean…” he gestured vaguely. “Look at it. I don’t get art, I admit. Clary — my brother’s fiancée — says I’m uncultured. But that, is a penis.”

Magnus snorted again, lightly touching Alec’s arm to lead him to the next sculpture. “Can’t argue with you there,” he said, idly looking around as they walked.

“Kind of?” Alec prompted as they continued. He was trying not to stare, his heart not quite racing but beating at an unnatural pace as Magnus walked close to him, their shoulders brushing. Up close, Magnus was even more beautiful than he’d seemed from across the room. His shirt tight enough to show off his impressive arms, makeup was around his eyes, making them look darker than they were. But none of that explained the kind of chemical reaction that had gone through Alec’s body when their hands touched. Alec had never really believed that you could see someone and automatically know, deep down, that you wanted to know them, that you wanted them in your life. He didn’t believe in love at first sight or even friendship at first sight though Isabelle swore she knew the second she met Clary that they would be best friends. Attraction at first sight? Sure. Lust? Of course. But nothing more. Still, here he was, something deep inside him telling him there was something about this other man, something pulling him towards Magnus, telling him they were supposed to meet, making him want to get to know him.

“Well, technically,” Magnus started slowly. “I do have a piece here tonight but… It’s more of a hobby for me.”

Alec inclined his head, eyebrow raised. He followed Magnus’ lead around the gallery, Magnus would stop every once in a while, to closely consider a piece of work, always stopping to read the descriptions next to each painting.

“I’m an art consultant,” he explained. “Meaning that I help rich people buy art, essentially, though it’s more interesting than that. I’ve worked for some very interesting people, including celebrities. I paint on the side.” Magnus shrugged, like what he’d just said was no big deal.

Alec, a little awed, cleared his throat. “So which one is yours?”

Magnus stopped, pivoting on his heel to look at Alec with a small smirk. “If you can guess,” he said. “I’ll tell you.”

Alec raised an eyebrow before nodding, accepting the challenge. They continued walking, Alec now paying a little more attention to the art as they went. He wasn’t usually so forward but he found himself wanting to know more about Magnus, suddenly forgetting his earlier urge to leave, go home and curl up with a book and one or more of the kittens currently living in secret at his apartment where he wasn’t technically allowed to have animals.

“How exactly does one become an art consultant?” Alec asked, watching Magnus closely as they walked.

Magnus inclined his head, taking a drink of his champagne before answering. “You go to art school and study art history for a bit. You work for a museum for a few years before realizing you find that job boring,” he explained, smiling faintly before sighing. “So you move to London with an old friend and well, it kind of just happens from there.”

“Sounds…like a lot of work.”

Magnus smirked and shrugged. “It was a…bumpy road but now I get to spend my days looking at art and studying up and coming artists. I get to travel, and paint in my downtime,” he turned to Alec again, eyes dancing. “Some might say my job is to find beautiful things and I do believe that you, darling, are the most beautiful in this gallery.”

Alec dropped his gaze, clearing his throat, attempting to ward of the blush threatening to take over his face. He took a drink of champagne, nodding to the picture ahead of them. In a spin on a classic, someone had painted kittens playing poker. “That’s yours, isn’t it?” he teased.

Magnus glanced over his shoulder at the painting, laughing softly. “You got me,” he joked. “I paint cats playing poker in my free time. I once attempted to have them play golf but it just wasn’t the same, you know?”

Alec nodded seriously, holding back a smile. “I would imagine so. I mean, it just doesn’t have the same…majestic qualities as cats playing poker.”

“Exactly,” Magnus smiled. “You’re down to two guesses,” he added, eyes shining as he stared at Alec.

“I didn’t know I had a limit,” Alec said, smiling without meaning to. “I guess I’ll have to be more careful with the next two.”

Magnus’ eyes shined as they met Alec’s, his smile making Alec’s heart skip pitifully. “I would advise you to do just that,” Magnus agreed.

Alec didn’t know how long they stood there, staring at each other. His heart skipped about. He noticed small flecks of copper in Magnus’ brown eyes; a stray piece of glitter on his right cheekbone that he had to fight the urge to reach out and wipe away. They stood close but not too close, smiling softly at each other. There was a strange feeling to the air, full of promise and possibility, making the night feel endless, like they were somewhere else, away from the rest of the world, existing on a plane away from everyone else in the room. It was then, as Alec got lost in the possibilities lurking in Magnus’ eyes, that something Magnus had said suddenly registered. He lived in London. London. Thousands of miles away from New York.

Alec’s heart sank all at once and he looked away quickly so that Magnus wouldn’t see.

Tilting his head to the side, Magnus nodded and they started walking again. “So what about you? What do you do?” Magnus asked.

Alec opened his mouth to reply when Magnus suddenly turned to him, holding a finger to Alec’s lips. “Wait,” he said, mouth curving up in a crooked smile. “Let me guess.”

Alec pressed his lips together, raising his eyebrows.

Magnus frowned at him, stepping back to look him up and down slowly like something about the outfit that Isabelle had picked out for him would tell Magnus exactly what Alec did. It might’ve worked, if Isabelle hadn’t stopped him from picking up the kittens again before leaving for the gallery, then he would’ve been covered in cat hair which might’ve been a hint or just made Magnus think he owned a lot of cats which was kind of true at the moment.

“Rocket scientist?” Magnus suddenly asked.

Alec snorted, shaking his head.

“Hold on, I got this,” Magnus said, stroking his chin as he thought. “Model? Actor? Professional pretty boy? No? Am I close?”

Alec shook his head, biting his lip on a smile. “Not even a little bit.”

“Hmm… Lawyer? Used cars salesman? Ice cream taster?”

Alec snorted, shaking his head at every guess.

“Damn,” Magnus sighed, waving his hand. “Fine. Just tell me.”

Alec arched an eyebrow, shrugging. “I don’t know, I’m kind of having fun with the guessing.”

Magnus’ eyes narrowed in a glare that had Alec shivering for unknown reasons. Magnus stepped closer after a minute, raising his hand to rest it lightly on Alec’s arm as he blinked up at him. There wasn’t much difference between their heights but Magnus angled his head so he was looking up at Alec, all doe-eyes and teasing mouth.

“Please tell me?” he asked softly.

Alec didn’t even bother trying to pretend _that_ didn’t affect him. “I’m a veterinarian,” he said. “I work at an animal hospital.”

Magnus’ mouth turned up in a grin. “Now _that_ , is an adorable mental image.”

Alec rolled his eyes, pretending his skin wasn’t on fire where Magnus was still touching his arm.

“I’m kidding,” Magnus said, voice going soft. “Though I am nearly positive the combination of you and small animals would be the most adorable thing ever,” he added with a wink.

Alec rolled his eyes, fighting off another blush.

“But seriously though,” Magnus continued, letting his hand brush down Alec’s arm. “That’s really interesting, what made you want to become a vet?”

Alec shrugged, unused to the intense sort of attention Magnus was paying him. Clearing his throat, he turned, heart sinking when Magnus’ hand fell away as they started walking again. “I kind of just fell into it,” Alec admitted. “I volunteered at an animal shelter in high school. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do but I liked being around the animals. It kind of just, I don’t know. Felt like fate. I’d never even thought about being a vet before then. But,” Alec paused, searching for words, rubbing the back of his neck as he did. “I’m good with animals. Better than I am with people,” he admitted sheepishly.

Magnus glanced at him as they walked, mouth turned up in a small smile. “I don’t know, you seem pretty good with people to me.”

Alec looked away with a laugh, hoping the dim lights of the gallery at least somewhat masked his blush. “What about you?” he asked to change the subject. “How’d you fall into the art scene?”

Magnus shrugged. “I’ve always loved art, it just seemed natural to do something that involved it.”

“But you didn’t want to be an artist?”

Magnus inclined his head, lost in thought as they stopped in front of another abstract painting Alec didn’t quite get. “I’m a decent painter,” he finally said. “A better observer of art.”

“Fair enough,” Alec said thoughtfully. “Though I’m willing to bet you’re more than decent at painting.”

Magnus laughed, rolling his eyes. “Don’t think you can charm me, Alexander.”

“I would never.”

Magnus shook his head, slipping his arm through Alec’s as they walked, making Alec’s mind briefly short circuit. They continued through the gallery and Alec lost all track of time, completely forgetting that he’d come there with someone else until his phone buzzed in his pocket. Pulling it out, he found a message from Izzy, asking where he was and if he was ready to leave. Alec glanced over at Magnus who was studying a painting closely, eyes narrowed and intent like he could see far more than just the painting in front of him. Turning back to his phone, he quickly texted Isabelle back before slipping his phone away. He suddenly felt inclined to stay just a little longer.

***

“How long are you in New York for?” Alec asked. They stood on the top floor of the gallery, looking down on the room below them.

Magnus had been dreading this question for the last few hours as they wandered throughout the gallery, sipping champagne, critiquing art and slowly, carefully, getting a feel for each other. Magnus had been with enough people, fallen in love with one look enough times to be able to tell the difference between a fling and something with potential, between attraction and genuine connection. He thought this might be easier if he was merely attracted to Alec’s looks. Why couldn’t he have been an asshole? Why did he live in New York? Why couldn’t they have met in London? Why was he leaving first thing in the morning?

Magnus ran the fingers of one hand along the balcony railing, sighing softly. “Sadly, I’m only here for the night,” he finally said, glancing up into Alec’s soft hazel eyes. “I fly out in the morning.”

Alec swallowed. “Oh,” he said softly.

Magnus nodded. “Yeah,” he said in the same soft tone of voice. He attempted to swallow the disappointment building in his chest but it didn’t appear to be going anywhere anytime soon. He looked up slowly, meeting Alec’s hazel eyes, feeling his heart skip in his chest as they stood close together, breath mingling. It was unfair, Magnus thought. This kind of connection didn’t come around often, he’d only known Alec for a few hours but he felt like he could stay there all night talking to him and never once get bored. Could spend days with him without blinking an eye and yet, he only had tonight.

Magnus resisted the urge to let his eyes drop to Alec’s lips. He wouldn’t go there. Couldn’t go there. Not when he was leaving in the morning.

Reaching out, Magnus grabbed Alec’s hand on impulse. “Come on, I want to show you something.”

Alec smiled down at their hands before nodding. Their hands locked together loosely, they walked back to the bottom floor of the gallery where the new exhibit was set up. They’d been so busy talking Alec hadn’t even made one more guess as to which painting was Magnus’ but now, as the night slowly drew to a close as much as he wanted it to continue for just a little longer, Magnus led Alec straight to it. He hesitated slightly before stopping before it, nodding at it when Alec glanced at him in confusion.

He watched Alec’s expression out of the corner of his eyes. Alec’s eyes went wide as he read the name of the artist, narrowing slightly as he looked over the painting. It wasn’t anything spectacular, Magnus knew. He didn’t even know why the gallery had wanted it. It was something he’d done for fun a few months before, after returning from a trip to Rome. It was a crowded Rome street at night, with the distorted Colosseum reflected in a puddle on the ground.

Magnus bit his lip to stop himself from asking Alec what he thought, waiting quietly, hands lightly gripping a new flute of champagne.

“Magnus…” Alec finally said softly. The gallery was emptying, getting ready to close for the night. No one else was nearby making it feel as if they were the only two people left in the world. Alec turned to Magnus slowly, eyes shining, shaking his head. “I thought you said you were only an okay artist?”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “It’s not that good.”

“It’s beautiful,” Alec said.

Magnus opened his mouth to argue before falling silent. Alec sounded completely sincere, his wide eyes easy to read in the quiet gallery. There was nothing in his voice or on his face to suggest that he was just saying it because that was what you said. He was being honest. He really thought it was beautiful.

Magnus cleared his throat, glancing away. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Alec replied, shifting closer.

Magnus stared at his painting for a minute, mind spinning. He knew the gallery was about to close, knew he had a flight to catch in the morning, but he also knew he wasn’t ready for the night to end, wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Alec. Not yet.

Swallowing, Magnus looked back at him, inclining his head to the side. “Want to get out of here?”

Alec was quick to smile, eyes shining. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Magnus returned his smile, setting his champagne flute down on a nearby table. “We could go to my hotel, to the bar. Have a drink. Talk some more. There’s a pool table. I mean, if you want,” he said, not willing to give in to a one-night stand, not even sure if Alec would want that, but also not wanting the night to end. “I mean, unless you have to get back to your siblings.”

Alec shook his head. “They left a while ago,” he explained.

Magnus’ mouth quirked up in a smile at this knowledge. “So…care to be beaten at a game of pool?”

Alec smirked, eyes dark and sexy. “Sounds like fun.”

Smiling, Magnus took Alec’s hand, ignoring the things the contact did to his heart as they walked back to the front of the gallery, stopping to grab their jackets from coat check. Magnus was slipping his coat on when the owner of the gallery passed, stopping long enough to shake Magnus’ hand. “It was nice having you here, Professor Bane.”

Magnus smiled, returning her greeting before turning back to Alec with a sheepish smile.

Alec was fighting a smile, eyebrow arched. “Professor?”

Magnus shrugged helplessly. “Okay,” he admitted. “So, I might have gotten a few degrees along the way to becoming an art consultant. I am an art consultant, by the way, when I’m not teaching at a university in London, but my line about you being the most beautiful thing in the room doesn’t work for an art history teacher.”

Alec shook his head. “Is there anything else you forgot to mention?” he asked, smiling softly.

Magnus tilted his head, thinking. “I don’t think so.”

Alec laughed, taking Magnus’ hand and pulling him out into the cold New York night. It was the day after Christmas and snow was falling fast onto the busy New York streets, but Magnus barely felt the cold, walking close to Alec, their hands entwined.

***

“You hustler,” Alec accused as Magnus easily won their third game of pool that night. The first game, Magnus had acted like he barely knew what he was doing. The second, he’d gotten a little better, until the third where he obliterated Alec.

Magnus leaned back against the pool table, shrugging casually. It was a fancy hotel with a large, classy bar. They were the only people there besides a woman sitting at the bar, sipping on the same drink she’d had when they walked in two hours before. Christmas music still played over the speakers while the tvs showed some old football game. The floors were polished wood, the walls shined a bright gold. It smelled clean with only a hint of the alcohol served there. There were three pool tables in the back, under dim lights that made Magnus’ eyes appear darker than ever.

“So you admit it?” Alec asked, stepping close, voice coming out lower than intended. “You hustled me?”

Magnus shrugged again. “Maybe a little,” he smirked.

“Cheater,” Alec whispered, coming to a stop right before Magnus. There was a breath of space between them, no part of their body quite touching but close enough that the smallest shifting would bring them together. Magnus grinned, eyes dancing mischievously. Alec’s heart skipped. He couldn’t quite believe he’d only met Magnus earlier that night, somehow it felt like they’d known each other so much longer and yet it still had that new exciting feeling of getting to know someone, of flirting with the possibilities that hung thick in the air.

“Maybe a little,” Magnus repeated, smirk turning into a soft smile as he tilted his head up, their eyes meeting and locking.

Alec’s heart was racing, a pit in his stomach growing deeper the later it got, knowing that Magnus would leave in the morning and they’d likely never see each other again. He knew that was going to happen — Magnus _would_ leave and they _would_ never see each other again — and he knew he should leave now, before something happened, but he lingered, unable to bring himself to so much as look away from Magnus as Magnus’ shifted, bringing his hand up to Alec’s waist and tugging him closer until their bodies were pressed together.

Alec’s breath hitched as he fell against Magnus, their breath mingling, lips inches from touching.

Alec swallowed dryly, looking from Magnus’ eyes to his lips and back. Hands shaking as he tried to figure out what he was supposed to do with them. It’d only been a few hours but they’d talked about everything from their families to their jobs to past relationships and favorite books. It’d only been a few hours, Alec reminded himself again and again, but a few hours could feel like a lifetime with the right person.

Magnus’ eyes were wide, almost gold under the yellow-tinged light that hung over the pool table. He was smiling a crooked smile, thumb rubbing along Alec’s side. He smelled like champagne and sandalwood, felt warm against Alec.

It wasn’t a conscious decision Alec made to lean in, it just happened. Like it was inevitable, like gravity had shifted, pulling them together; like it was meant to be and there was no other way the night could’ve possibly ended. He leaned, Magnus leaned, and then they were kissing.

Alec’s hand came up, fingers sliding through Magnus’ silky soft hair as their lips brushed, pushing together before pulling apart. They stared at each other a moment, before leaning back in. It was a soft, lingering kiss. Lips brushing together slowly as they got a feel for each other before Magnus tilted his head, deepening the kiss, making Alec’s racing heart suddenly still, his body seeming set to catch fire as Magnus licked into his mouth, both hands now on Alec’s hips, keeping him pressed close.

Alec pulled back to say something, but Magnus followed and he completely forgot what he’d been about to say, surrendering entirely to the kiss, forgetting that they were in a bar, forgetting that he should leave, forgetting that this was nothing more than one night. His blood pounded through his ears, blocking out everything else. His fingers tingled, his heart raced. He never wanted this to end.

Magnus’ hands traveled up Alec’s back, remaining over Alec’s shirt, as PG-13 as they could be when kissing like this. Alec had never experienced a kiss quite like this. He wasn’t in a habit of hooking up with strangers or even kissing on the first date, but this didn’t feel like that. This was something more than lust, more than two strangers kissing for the first time, their lips moving slowly together, eyes closed, hands tight on each other. Alec’s heart racing, toes curling in his shoes as his knees went weak.

They only pulled away when it became necessary to breathe and even then, it wasn’t that far, still close enough to share air. Magnus’ forehead resting against Alec’s as he breathed, eyes still closed to savor the moment. When he finally opened them, he found Magnus staring back at him, brown eyes narrowed, pupils blown wide.

Alec offered a small smile that Magnus returned, making Alec’s heart skip as Magnus ran his hands up and down Alec’s arms.

“That was…” Alec started, voice hoarse. He cleared his throat, searching for words but having no idea where he was going with that.

“Some kiss,” Magnus finished with a smirk.

Alec nodded. “Yeah,” he said, tilting his head. They were kissing again before his eyes closed, fitting together perfectly. Alec lingered, kissing Magnus softly, lips just barely brushing, heart racing, pulse skipping about. He only pulled away when it became necessary, the moment the kiss went from soft and sincere to fast and leading. He knew with an unshakable certainty that, if he stayed any longer, he’d wind up following Magnus up to his room and, as much as he wanted that… Magnus was leaving in the morning. As much as he didn’t want the night to end and, even knowing they’d likely never see each other again, Alec didn’t want this to be a one-night stand. So, he pulled back, looking into Magnus’ eyes and seeing the same determination he felt mirrored back at him.

Stepping back even though the action made it hard to breathe, his heart giving a dull ache, Alec pulled a business card from his wallet, handing it to Magnus who took it with a soft smile. “In case you’re ever in New York again,” Alec whispered, leaning in to kiss Magnus once more, their lips barely brushing before he forced himself to pull away.

“Alexander,” Magnus said softly, staring down at the business card when Alec pulled away again. Alec’s heart skipped. He forced himself to take a step back, turn away, when Magnus caught his hand, tugging him back for one last, heated kiss. Alec groaned, resolve weakening as Magnus did this thing with his tongue that made Alec completely forget how to think.

“I had a great time, tonight,” Magnus whispered, resting their forehead together once more, breathing heavily. His eyes flickered open slowly. “Good night Alexander.”

Alec swallowed dryly, cupping Magnus’ face and bringing their lips together again. “Good night,” he whispered before turning and leaving. He barely breathed until he was out in the sharp, biting cold of a New York winter. Despite internally cursing the universe, Alec found himself smiling as he walked to the subway, tongue burning with the taste of Magnus’ name on his lips. Heart aching dully with the knowledge that he’d never see Magnus again.

***

Magnus was not as excited as he’d expected to be, waiting for his flight at the airport the next morning. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw flashes of a lopsided smile, bright hazel eyes. Remembered the way his heart had raced and crashed about his chest when they kissed. He could still feel the ghost of Alec’s lips on his.

Magnus sighed, shaking his head. It was just his luck to meet someone the one night he was in New York. He’d barely slept all night, Alec hadn’t left until early in the morning, and then Magnus had lingered at the bar before catching a few hours of rest before he had to get up to go to the airport. He was planning on sleeping on the plane, maybe that would make it easier to leave this place he’d never wanted to come to in the first place.

***

Alec woke late the next morning, staring blankly up at his ceiling. He was surrounded by the six kittens he’d accidentally taken in as a family hadn’t known their cat was pregnant and couldn’t afford to keep the kittens even long enough to find someone else to take them. They’d only just taken the mother back as the kittens were finally old enough to be away from her. Now Alec only had to find homes for them all. Until then, they were secretly living in his apartment where he was not allowed to have pets. The kittens climbing over him, meowing softly for food, distracted him from thoughts of the night before, of dark eyes and a beautiful face.

Alec sighed, heart aching as he climbed from bed. Of course, he had to fall for the one person at the gallery that didn’t live in New York.

After feeding the kittens and making sure they were good for the day, he headed out into the cold to go to work. Not many people were going to the vet this strange week between Christmas and New Year’s but there were a few interesting emergencies and Alec made sure to stop by the animal shelter on his way home, dropping off extra bags of pet food and visiting a few old friends.

He hadn’t been able to get Magnus out of his mind all day and was not looking forward to the following days. Isabelle and Jace had both already been texting him all day to find out what had managed to keep him occupied all night and he wasn’t looking forward to explaining it. He could try not telling them, of course, but somehow that never worked with his siblings.

Alec was just getting ready to order food, having showered and changed and played with the kittens for a few minutes, when there was a knock at the door. He sighed, picking the smallest of the kittens, a small little gray guy, up as he headed to the door. He held the kitten, that was as of yet unnamed, to his chest protectively, opening the door without looking through the peephole, expecting Isabelle to be on the other side.

Alec came up short, nearly choking on air as he saw who it was on the other side.

Magnus gave a sheepish smile, standing next to a small suitcase. “My flight was canceled.”

***

Magnus had spent hours at the airport waiting to hear if the storm would clear, allowing his flight back to London to take off. Finally, they’d canceled all flights in and out of New York for the night as the storm only showed signs of worsening. Magnus wasn’t sure when his flight would be rescheduled, meaning he was stranded in New York with nowhere to go. The airline was putting people up at nearby hotels, but Magnus had found himself turning down the offer. He’d called the number on the business card Alec had given him that led him to a veterinary hospital where someone named Maia had been all too happy to give Magnus Alec’s address when he claimed to be an old friend.

Magnus couldn’t say what had made him do all that but, if he was going to spend another night in New York, he thought he might like to spend it with Alec. If Alec was willing. As crazy as that sounded.

“You should probably fire your secretary,” Magnus said, biting his lip on a smile as he took in Alec’s slightly rumpled look. His eyes were wide, his hair wet from a shower, sticking up wildly. He was dressed in a ratty old black t-shirt with a hole in the hem and low hanging gray sweats. Best of all, he was snuggling a small striped gray kitten that made him look far too soft and adorable.

“Yeah?” Alec asked, voice slightly hoarse as he worked to recover from his shock.

Magnus nodded. “She gave me your address. That could be dangerous. I could be a serial killer.”

Alec nodded in agreement, mouth quirked into a half smile. “Your flight was canceled?” he asked, like he’d only just processed what Magnus had said.

“Yeah,” Magnus sighed. “There’s a big storm, no planes are leaving tonight.”

“Do you have anywhere to go?”

Magnus shook his head, eyes locked with Alec’s.

Alec smiled slowly, softly, stepping back and opening the door to his apartment wider without a word. Magnus bit back a grin, stepping inside.

***

Alec couldn’t quite believe his luck, staring at Magnus as he stepped into Alec’s apartment, looking it over slowly. He’d spent all day in a slump, thinking about Magnus on his way back to London, imagining every minute that Magnus was getting further and further away. And here he was, in Alec’s apartment. Alec’s messy apartment, he suddenly realized. It was a small studio apartment, his bed standing free, angled with the headboard in the far corner of the room. Clothes were all over the floor, a litterbox for the kittens was pushed into a free corner. The floor was strewn with towels because the wooden floor was quite cold in the mornings, the heater only working half the time, and Alec hadn’t gotten around to buying rugs yet. The kitchen counters were covered in take-out and dirty coffee mugs.

Magnus turned to Alec, eyebrow arched.

“I’ve been a little busy,” Alec said defensively. He set the gray kitten down, gesturing to the other six who were rolling around in a fuzzy blanket in the middle of the living area that was little more than a small TV, a couch, and an armchair.

Magnus’ eyes landed on the kittens, going soft. “Why Alexander, I didn’t know you were such a cat person.”

Alec laughed, shaking his head. “I’m not. I mean, I love cats, but they aren’t mine.”

“Oh?”

“Someone didn’t know their cat was pregnant and they couldn’t afford to keep the kittens, even long enough to wen them from their mother, so I’ve been looking after them until they’re old enough to be given away.”

“That’s really nice,” Magnus said, turning back to Alec with wide, shining eyes.

Alec swallowed dryly. He wasn’t sure what to do now, could feel his old shy, clumsiness returning. He hadn’t expected to see Magnus again, let alone in his apartment with nowhere else to go.

“So…” Alec said.

Magnus arched an eyebrow. “So…”

Alec didn’t know who moved first but suddenly they were slamming together, Magnus’ hand in Alec’s wet hair, breath warm as he gasped into the kiss, their lips coming together hurriedly as Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus, tugging him close. It should’ve been weird, it was weird, but not in the ways Alec would expect. They fit. They kissed like they’d been doing it for years. The only weird part was that they hadn’t.

Alec hissed, wincing slightly as Magnus bit down lightly on his bottom lip before getting distracted by the things Magnus’ tongue was doing. Alec’s mind went blank, he was barely aware of anything beyond Magnus as he fell back against the nearest wall, Magnus pushing close to him. Alec’s heart was pounding loud enough to block out everything else, his blood rushing through his ears as his hands slipped up under Magnus’ shirt, holding him close.

“Has your flight been rescheduled?” Alec asked, breathing heavily, pulling back just long enough to ask the question before ducking his head and capturing Magnus’ mouth once more.

Magnus’ kiss was more addicted than anything Alec had ever tasted. This felt like a dream, he was terrified that it was one. That he’d wake any moment and Magnus would be thousands of miles away and Alec would never see him again. He kissed Magnus deeper, trying to drown out the thoughts as the rest of the world seemed to disappear around them.

“Not yet,” Magnus said, voice low and breathy as he pulled away long enough to tug his coat off, smirking at Alec before tugging him back in, bodies slamming together as their lips brushed. “It’s a big storm, I’ve been told.”

Alec nodded, eyes closed as Magnus’ lips trailed from his mouth down across his jaw to his neck. “I heard something about that earlier,” Alec said, hands flexing on Magnus’ hips as Magnus bit lightly on his neck. “It’s terrible.”

“Truly awful,” Magnus agreed. “I’m very upset at my flight being canceled,” he teased.

“Me too,” Alec said, trailing off in a moan as Magnus moved to the other side of his neck. Alec leaned down, capturing Magnus’ mouth before he could continue attacking Alec’s neck.

Alec pulled back a few minutes later, breathing heavy, trying to catch his breath. He kept his eyes closed as their foreheads rested together. He could feel Magnus’ heart racing, surrounded by the smell of sandalwood and coffee. Alec’s hands flexed on Magnus’ hips as he breathed in and out deeply. “This is real, right?” he asked softly.

Magnus nodded against him, tilting his head, brushing their lips together softly before pulling back. “Very real.”

Alec opened his eyes, staring at Magnus. “You could stay here,” he found himself saying. “If you wanted.”

Magnus smirked, eyes shining. “Yeah?”

Alec nodded, leaning back in to kiss Magnus again, softer and slower this time. “Yeah.”

***

Despite wanting to go further, they stopped for the night at kissing. Deciding to order in food while playing with the kittens. Magnus named them all when he found out Alec hadn’t yet. He thought that maybe he should care a little more about his flight getting canceled, it was getting close to New Years and he had a fairly important meeting the next day and as the snow continued to come down faster and faster, it became increasingly unlikely that Magnus would make it back to London for it. Thought he should feel weird, staying with a virtual stranger but he didn’t. And, sitting on the cold wooden floor of Alec’s apartment, with kittens climbing all over both of them, Magnus couldn’t quite bring himself to be all that disappointed. Meetings could be rescheduled, and it was only New Years and it was worth it, he thought, to have a little more time with Alec.

“So then Ragnor just threw the underwear right over the edge of the Eiffel Tower and that was how we ended that trip,” Magnus said with a laugh, finishing the story he was telling of his best friends.

Alec laughed, shaking his head as he laid back across the cold floor, kittens climbing all over him. His laugh was soft and sleepy, eyes bright in the dim room as the sun had set and they’d yet to move to turn any more lights on, leaving the apartment lit only by the single light in the kitchen. Magnus’ heart skipped about, pulled in a million directions, a smile on his face, a tugging in his gut at the sound of Alec’s laugh.

“See, with stories like this, I’m really starting to worry that you may in fact be a serial killer,” Alec said, picking up the smallest kitten and holding it to his face. Magnus’ heart melted just a little as Alec kissed the kitten’s face, rubbing his nose against the kittens’.

Magnus snorted. “What? Don’t you think it would be an honor to be murdered by me?”

Alec looked over with a frown before glancing back at the cat. “I can’t tell if you’re kidding.”

Magnus laughed, stretching out, unable to resist the urge to yawn. He’d barely slept in the last forty-eight hours and, as the night grew darker, he became more aware of the fact.

Alec sat up and the kittens scattered, racing across the room to climb into a basket lined with soft blankets, piling on top of each other to sleep. Alec smiled at them before turning to Magnus, his soft gaze making Magnus’ heart jackhammer. Alec moved to his knees, scooting towards the couch until he was right in front of Magnus. Leaning forward, eyes dark and serious, he tilted Magnus’ head up, kissing him lightly before standing. Magnus chased his lips for a minute before humming in contentment. He had no idea what they were doing honestly, knew that he was still flying back to London, possibly as early as the next day, but he liked this, whatever it was.

“You can have the bed,” Alec said, looking at Magnus closely. “You look tired. I’ll take the couch.”

Magnus stood, shaking his head. He was tired, he hadn’t slept nearly enough recently, but he couldn’t take Alec’s bed unless… Magnus inclined his head, a sexy smirk crossing his face before he could stop it. “We could share the bed?” he offered, grabbing Alec’s hand between both of his and tugging him close. “In a totally innocent manner, of course.”

“Of course,” Alec agreed, voice soft and breathy.

Magnus’ eyes shone as he continued to smirk at Alec who looked back and forth between Magnus’ eyes, like he was searching for something. Finally, he nodded. “We’ll share the bed.”

Magnus grinned. “We’ll share the bed,” he agreed, walking backwards to it, Alec following close, their hands still locked together.

“Which side do you prefer?” Magnus asked, stopping at the end of the queen size bed that was covered with a warm looking brown comforter.

“Left,” Alec said.

Magnus beamed. “Perfect. I prefer the right.”

Turning to his suitcase, Magnus pulled out the pair of sweats and the tight white t-shirt he’d brought to sleep in. When he was going on a short trip like this, he traveled lightly, with things he wouldn’t care too much if got lost. Turning to head to the bathroom, he passed close to Alec, leaning in with a hand on Alec’s arm to brush their lips together lightly before turning away with a small laugh. Magnus washed his face and changed quickly. When he came back, the lights were off, and Alec was already in bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Magnus bit his lip on a smile, setting his clothes on his suitcase before picking up the smallest of the kittens who had left his siblings and was pawing at the bed. Holding the kitten — that Magnus had named Chairman Meow — he carefully climbed into bed, settling with just the smallest amount of distance between their bodies, letting the warm kitten burrow under the blanket and curl up on his chest.

Alec rolled over on to his side, staring with amusement at the kitten before sliding his hand into Magnus’. His eyes moved to Magnus’, dark and serious. “I’m glad the storm ruined your flight,” Alec admitted softly.

Magnus’ heart skipped as he stared back at Alec. “Me too.”

Alec smiled, leaning in to brush their lips together before resting back against his pillow. “Good night, Magnus.”

“Good night, Alexander.”

***

Alec woke the next morning to an empty bed. He sat up slowly, groggy with sleep. Magnus stood in the kitchen, back to Alec, talking on his phone.

“Don’t worry about me, Cat,” he was saying in a voice that carried across the room. “I’ll be fine, and I’ll be back in London before you know it.”

Whoever he was talking to must’ve said something then because he grew quiet, chuckling softly. “It’s not your fault. You were trying to do something nice. And, believe me, I don’t mind being stuck here a little longer,” he added, turning then to see Alec already looking at him.

Alec flushed softly as Magnus arched an eyebrow but then Magnus was smirking this dark, sexy smirk, eyes narrowed, hot on Alec’s, teeth dragging across his lower lip and Alec forgot how to think, brain short-circuiting just like that.

“I’ll keep you updated,” Magnus said to whoever he was talking to, nodding. “Yup. Love you too, bye.” He hung up, smiling up at Alec. “My best friend,” he explained. “She’s the one who convinced me to come here in the first place.”

“Ah,” Alec nodded, relieved to hear Magnus didn’t secretly have a wife in London. He smirked. “Remind me to send her a thank you card.”

Magnus snorted, shaking his head.

“Has your flight been rescheduled?” Alec asked, fingers crossed as he begged the universe for just one more day, just a few more hours.

Magnus sighed, staring down at his hands, twirling a ring around one of his fingers. “They’re still waiting for the storm to clear. If you don’t mind, I guess you’re stuck with me a little longer? I could get a hotel room, if you do mind. I know we just met…”

Alec shook his head quickly, scooping Chairman Meow up so as not to crush him before standing and crossing the apartment to stand before Magnus. “I don’t mind,” he said. “You should stay here, with me. If you want, I mean.”

Magnus’ eyes were narrow and serious, his mouth set in a firm line. Suddenly, he stepped closer, hand going behind Alec’s head to pull him into a crushing kiss. “I want,” he whispered against Alec’s lips.

“Good,” Alec grinned, setting the Chairman down before tugging Magnus back into a deeper kiss.

***

“Are you sure you don’t have something better to be doing?” Magnus asked, shivering in the cold, the only part of him that was warm was his hand that was entangled with Alec’s in Alec’s jacket pocket. “Working or something?”

Alec shrugged, shaking his head. “I have the day off. And I want to do this,” he insisted, leading Magnus down crowded streets. “You can’t be in New York for New Years and not see the sights,” he insisted.

Magnus watched as a snowflake fell, landing on Alec’s long eyelashes. His heart skipped and he sighed. They were virtually strangers, Magnus kept reminding himself, but it didn’t feel like it. It didn’t feel like they’d just met. Impossibly, it felt as if they’d known each other forever.

“Fair enough,” he finally said, giving in.

Alec laughed. Leaning over, he kissed Magnus lightly, warming him from the inside before continuing down the icy New York streets. New Years in New York did seem to be pretty nice, Magnus admitted to himself. But it was more for the company he had than anything else.

***

“And don’t even get me started on—” Magnus stopped talking suddenly.

Alec frowned, turning to him as they slowly made their way gliding around the ice rink.

Magnus frowned, a soft blush to his cheeks that Alec couldn’t tell if was from the cold or something else. “I’m rambling, aren’t I?” Magnus asked, coming to a stop.

Alec smiled, shrugging as he turned to face Magnus. He held his free hand up, showing a small distance between his thumb and forefinger. “A little,” he admitted. “It’s okay,” he added quickly. “I like listening to you talk about art.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “I could talk about it for hours,” he admitted.

Alec smiled again, shifting closer, squeezing Magnus’ hand twice unconsciously. “It’s good that you love what you do so much,” he said. “You can tell by the way you talk about it that it’s your calling.”

Magnus shook his head, shrugging modestly. “Maybe I just like beautiful things?” he teased.

Alec shrugged. “Maybe, but I think it’s more than that,” he said, leaning in to brush his lips across Magnus’ cheek before turning to continue skating. They’d ended up at the rink after having a quick breakfast and seeing some of the sights. It was Magnus’ idea and Alec was only grateful that he apparently still remembered how to skate from his brief stint playing hockey.

“What about you?” Magnus asked a few minutes later. Alec raised an eyebrow in question. “Is helping animals your calling?”

Alec laughed, shrugging helplessly. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “But it is what I love doing. My parents were set on me becoming a lawyer or a doctor, something important and flashy,” he explained thoughtfully. “None of that seemed to fit me though. I still don’t know how I ended up here but… I’m glad I did.”

Magnus smiled softly, squeezing Alec’s hand as they skated through the crowded rink, snow slowly falling above them. “Are your parents okay with your choice?”

Alec sighed. “That’s…complicated.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” Magnus said quickly.

Alec shook his head, offering Magnus a half smile. “No. It’s okay. I don’t mind. They weren’t happy with it, at first. But they weren’t exactly thrilled when I ruined their plans for me to marry a successful woman and give them grandchildren either,” he snorted. It’d hurt at the time but he’d gotten over it, with the help of his friends and siblings. “My dad isn’t…the best. But after my parents got divorced, my mom, she changed, got happier. She’s done her best to fix things and she’s happy for me now, so I choose to focus on that.”

Magnus nodded thoughtfully, turning to skate backward in front of Alec, holding his hand out for Alec to take. They skated for a while longer, conversation flowing easily. Magnus talked more about his favorite artists and techniques, Alec told stories from the hospital and of his siblings. Before they knew it, they’d been skating for hours.

Magnus shivered as they finally left the rink, pressing close to Alec after they changed back into their boots.

 “It’s so cold here,” Magnus said, the tip of his nose was red, his hands cold as he slipped them into the pockets of Alec’s fluffy coat, rubbing his freezing nose against Alec’s cheek before kissing him.

“Its New York at winter, it’s supposed to be cold,” Alec laughed.

Magnus pulled back, pouting. “Well then, I guess you’ll just have to warm me up.”

“Gladly,” Alec said, grinning as their lips met in a soft kiss.

Back at the apartment, Alec groaned as Magnus found his bow, holding it up with a raised eyebrow.

“Please,” he begged. “No Hunger Games or Hawkeye jokes. Please. I get enough from my siblings.”

Magnus laughed, holding the bow gently as he looked it over. “You can actually use this?” he asked.

Alec nodded from the kitchen where he was cooking a simple spaghetti dinner. “I learned at camp when I was young and then I took lessons for a while, even won some competitions.”

Magnus whistled lowly, setting the bow down carefully. “That’s hot,” he said.

Alec snorted, nearly choking on a drink of wine. “Really?” he asked.

Magnus nodded knowingly, moving towards Alec and taking the glass of wine from his hands to take a sip, smirking all the while. “Sure. I mean, who didn’t have a crush on Legolas at one point or another?”

“Legolas?” Alec snorted, leaning in to kiss Magnus. “Nerd.”

“You’re one to talk, Katniss,” Magnus replied, opening his mouth to Alec, tasting of wine and chocolate.

Alec shook his head, resting his hands on Magnus’ hips as they stared at each other. Alec swallowed. “So... this...” he started before trailing off.

“So. This,” Magnus grinned.

Alec rolled his eyes. “It’s nice.”

“Very nice,” Magnus agreed.

Alec thought about saying more but what else was there to say? This would last as long as it lasted. Magnus would leave soon and then it would end and there was nothing else to it.

Magnus seemed to have the same thoughts. Leaning around Alec, he turned the stove off before setting the glass of wine down and tugging Alec close, their mouths meeting in a soft kiss.

Time became nothing but an illusion when they were kissing, the world fading away around them. Slowly, they made their way to Alec’s bed, hands roaming but always staying above clothes, mouths brushing, tongues tangling. Alec fell back on the bed, tugging Magnus down on top of him.

Alec was overly aware of Magnus’ hands, his body on fire, heart racing as Magnus pulled his shirt up slowly, fingers brushing across Alec’s stomach as he went. They were just breaking away to fully remove Alec’s shirt when something soft jumped between them with a squeak.

Magnus jerked back, nearly falling off Alec, scaring Catarina the small orange cat away. Church hissed from a few feet away. Chairman Meow jumped on the bed, landing right next to Alec’s head.

Breathing heavy, heart skipping about, Alec laughed, letting his head fall back, eyes closing. Magnus recovered on top of him, leaning down and resting on top of Alec, shaking with laughter.

“I think they want us to stop paying attention to each other and pay attention to them instead,” Magnus said once their laughter had died out.

Alec bit his lip, nodding as he opened his eyes, seeing Magnus’ shining down on him. “Probably,” he said softly.

Magnus kissed him lightly before pushing off Alec and grabbing the nearest kitten. Alec stayed on the bed a moment longer, shaking his head and cursing himself for ever bringing the kittens home.

***

Magnus spent the next few days in New York, wrapped up in Alec, allowing himself to give into his feelings just for as long as he was there, just so he wouldn’t regret it when he got back. They didn’t talk about it but they both knew this would end. It wasn’t something that could be a long-distance relationship – long-distance relationships weren’t born of a wild week of fun and kissing. They both knew it would have to end, that it would die off and fade into a memory, but that just meant there was no reason to hold back, to resist whatever this was that was happening between them; for the few days they could have it, they’d enjoy it. And then they’d let it fade into a memory.

The storm finally passed on the thirtieth, but the airports were so behind that Magnus couldn’t get a flight until the first. Though he had work to get done and friends waiting for him in London, Magnus found he couldn’t bring himself to complain about anything. These last few days with Alec… They were something he knew instinctively he wouldn’t trade for the world. This, whatever it was… was something that only came around once in a lifetime. Whatever it was between them, that had started the second they saw each other at the gallery and only grown larger and more intense in the days since, it wasn’t the kind of thing that came around every day. It wasn’t lust, it wasn’t love either — at least, Magnus didn’t think it was, not yet, not after only a few days — but it was _something_. Something that would thrive until the second Magnus stepped on the airplane. And the more time that passed, the more he found himself hoping for another storm to arrive before the new year.

Alec had to work the next two days so Magnus took the time to paint a mural on one of Alec’s boring, off-white walls. Deep down he knew he just wanted to give Alec something to remember him by and that even this wouldn’t last. One day he’d move into a bigger apartment or a house with someone else and the mural would be forgotten just like the rest of it. Still, he had nothing better to do. He took his time, sketching it out carefully before painting. When he first jokingly mentioned it, he’d told Alec he’d paint him the London skyline when Alec asked but then Alec had told him to do it and his vision had shifted slightly. It was still London he was painting but it wasn’t the well-known skyline, it was the view from Magnus’ balcony. He didn’t let himself linger on why he chose that as it was far too sappy but that didn’t stop him from painting it. Magnus spent hours and hours on his balcony, day after day when he was searching for inspiration or when he was so disgusted by his student’s exams he was contemplating throwing them all out over the city. That was the view Magnus painted, as perfectly as he could manage in just a few short days.

Alec took him out on the town every night, showing him the must-see sights — the empire state building, times square, the statue of liberty, — but Magnus’ favorites were the hole in the wall place in Brooklyn where they ate one night and the park Alec jogged through every morning, all the small places Alec shared with Magnus that were his personal favorites. Magnus had never really cared to see the city but he quickly fell in love with Alec’s New York. With his small apartment and his many kittens; with Alec’s smile as Chairman Meow climbed over him, sniffing his hair. With the way Alec’s lips felt, pressed to his. With the way Alec instinctively held him close as they slept, like they’d known each other for months not days. Magnus told himself you couldn’t fall in love so fast, told himself he wasn’t as he was falling asleep, but the night before Magnus’ last day in New York, lying in bed with Alec, wide awake, Magnus couldn’t think of any other explanation for what he felt. As crazy as it was. It shouldn’t be love, couldn’t be love, but maybe… maybe it was.

Magnus rolled over in bed so he was facing Alec who opened his eyes slowly, clearly half asleep as he smiled a half smile at Magnus. The apartment was dark save for the blue-tinged light coming in through the window from the streetlight below. It was freezing as the heating in the building wasn’t very good, meaning they were both dressed in warm flannel pajama pants and long-sleeved shirts, huddled together under the comforter and two other blankets, a bundle of kittens at the foot of the bed. Staring up at Alec, despite his freezing nose, Magnus felt warm inside.

Stretching his head up, he kissed Alec who sighed into it, opening his mouth under Magnus’ without hesitation, letting Magnus’ tongue in. Alec smiled into the kiss, Magnus could feel it against his lips, making his heart skip as he shifted in bed, moving closer. Alec’s arm came up, around Magnus, tugging him close, until their bodies were pressed together. The kiss went from zero to a hundred in seconds, growing heated as their tongues brushed, mouths sliding together wetly. Magnus’ heart raced, the pit that had been forming in his stomach quieted, making it easier to breathe. There was no sound in the apartment save the sounds of their breathing and their mouths moving together. Magnus shifted closer, one of his legs sliding between Alec’s, his hand moving up, under the back of Alec’s shirt, pulling Alec as close as possible.

Just as quickly as the kiss got heated, it cooled off until their lips were just barely brushing together. Magnus never wanted to stop kissing Alec, he wanted more, wanted to feel Alec everywhere but this wasn’t the time. Magnus leaned closer, hand stroking the side of Alec’s face as their mouths slowly moved together. Magnus made himself pull back, ducking down for one last kiss, staring into Alec’s soft hazel eyes for a minute before resting his head back against the pillows. He curled close to Alec, arms tight around him.

“Good night, Alexander,” he said softly, content, his racing mind growing quiet as he briefly forgot all about the fact that all they had left was tomorrow and that by the day after, he’d been on his way back to London.

“Night, Magnus.”

***

Alec didn’t want to get out of bed the next morning, staring at Magnus who was laughing, head thrown back as the kittens crawled over him. He grabbed Chairman Meow, the small gray kitten, holding him close while the others sunk their claws into his shirt, attempting to climb up his back. Alec’s eyes lingered on Magnus’ stomach for a moment, his abs were visible through the thin, tight black fabric of his shirt. He trailed his eyes up, forcing himself not to flush or look away when Magnus caught him staring and arched an eyebrow. Alec’s mind flashed back to the night they met as Magnus seemed to ask him yet again if he liked with he saw.

Alec smirked, nodding slowly.

Magnus laughed again, rolling his eyes as Magnus jr. — a small, dark gray cat with large blue eyes — managed to jump atop Magnus’ head, landing in his hair that was soft and fluffy from showering the night before.

Alec reached for his phone, snapping a picture before Magnus noticed.

“Hey,” Magnus said, reaching out for the phone. “What do you think you’re doing?” he asked, laughing as Alec continued to take pictures. The kittens scattered with various meows, running to their basket in the corner of the apartment as Magnus fell on top of Alec. Magnus yanked the phone away from Alec, turning it on him and taking a series of photos as Alec laughed, trying to cover his face.

Magnus laughed, prying Alec’s hands away to kiss him lightly, their lips easily slotting together. Magnus pulled back, resting their foreheads together. His eyes were wide and shining, mouth wet, hair a slight mess but it only made him look more appealing. Alec’s heart gave a sharp tug. He was so screwed. He’d been screwed as soon as he saw Magnus who was so unlike anyone Alec had ever known and then he’d made the mistake — the stupid, amazing mistake — of getting to know him and finding out how kind and smart and talented and beautiful — not just on the outside but the inside — he was and honestly, Alec didn’t know how anyone could see this man and not fall in love with him. At least a little bit. At least for a little while. It seemed impossible.

Alec tilted his head up, asking for another kiss. Magnus smirked, shaking his head, eyes shining with amusement. Alec pouted. Magnus sighed and ducked his head, kissing Alec slow and deep, tongue slipping out, seeking entrance into Alec’s mouth, making his toes curl as pressed close. Alec’s arms snaked around Magnus, fingers curling in Magnus’ shirt. He’d never get tired of the way it felt to kiss Magnus, of Magnus’ weight on top of him, warming him, making his pulse race erratically. He was nearly positive he could spend the rest of his life kissing Magnus Bane, if only he were allowed that option.

Pulling back a few minutes later, leaving Alec slightly stunned, Magnus grabbed his own phone, holding it up with a small smile. “One must document important moments,” he said, voice low and heartbreakingly soft.

Alec’s heart thudded about at the reminder as to why he didn’t want to leave bed. They had today, tonight, and then Magnus would be gone. By this time tomorrow, he would be a plane heading what felt just then to be impossibly far away.

Alec nodded slowly, kissing Magnus lightly before rolling his eyes as Magnus turned to take his picture. His heart felt set to explode, a dull buzzing filling his head starting at the base of his skull as the thought that Magnus was leaving in less than twenty-four hours spun around his head again and again.

“One more,” Magnus said, turning to kiss Alec’s cheek while taking the picture. Alec’s heart skipped. He was doomed.

***

Magnus had gone shopping a few days before, when Alec invited him to go out with his siblings and friends on New Year’s Eve. He showered and dressed slowly, like if he moved slow enough time would slow down with him and he could drag this night out for however long he wanted. The last week… It had a dreamlike feel to it, it didn’t seem real and Magnus knew that the moment he woke up the next morning, when stepped foot on the plane, reality would come crashing back and he wasn’t ready for that yet. This thing with Alec was the best kind of dream and he didn’t want to leave it behind for the real world, not yet. He wanted to go back to sleep, linger longer. As long as possible.

He was overly aware of his heart pounding about in his chest, ready to hurt even though it wasn’t fair to either of them that Magnus’ leaving should hurt. They weren’t…anything to each other. They were strangers a week ago. They were two people who enjoyed each other’s company and liked to kiss. Nothing more. Nothing less. But it felt like something more. Something unique. Something Magnus liked, too much, and was terrified he’d never find again.

He fixed his hair, breathing deeply to still his shaking hands as he did his makeup. He could feel whatever this was slowly slipping through his fingers no matter how hard he tried to cling to it. He’d never in a million years imagined this would come out of what was supposed to be one boring night in New York.

Magnus finished his eyeliner and stepped back to give himself one last look over. He nodded at his reflection. He’d go out with Alec and enjoy the night, he’d hope for another snow storm, and then he’d say goodbye to Alec in the morning. He’d go back to London and… Do his best to forget about the dark-haired man that swept him off his feet with a few words and a heartbreakingly soft kiss.

Stepping out of the bathroom, Magnus came up short as his gaze landed on Alec. Alec turned slowly from where he’d been facing the mirror on the back of his closet, tying his tie. He wore a dark suit that fit him perfectly, making Magnus’ mouth go dry as he looked Alec up and down. It was complete with a white button up and a black tie. Magnus blinked, shaking his head a little to bring himself back to the present.

Striding forward, he shook his head. “Not that tie,” he said, turning to Alec’s closet and looking through it until he found a dark blue tie. Turning to Alec, Magnus stepped up in front of him, confidently slipping the plain black tie off before looping the blue one around Alec’s neck. He worked quickly, tying it perfectly before looking up and meeting Alec’s eyes that were wide and slightly awestruck as he looked down at Magnus.

Recovering his own wits, Magnus smirked, enjoying the attention Alec was paying him. He’d gone with a deep blue shirt that he was happy to see perfectly match Alec’s tie. Magnus had paired his shirt — with the top four buttons of undone, allowing his necklaces to slide against his skin — with a dark vest and tight pants with a new pair of black boots.

Magnus let his hands run down Alec’s front slowly before turning his back to Alec to face the mirror. Smirking at Alec through the mirror, Magnus slipped the black tie around his own neck, letting his hands fall when Alec stepped up behind, reaching around Magnus to tie it for him, watching their reflections. Magnus was impressed by how quickly Alec managed to tie he tie, shivering as Alec’s fingers brushed against Magnus’ bare skin. Turning when it was done, Magnus looked up at Alec from under his eyelashes as he buttoned up his shirt, tucking the tie under his vest until he was once again happy with how he looked.

Alec swallowed, licking his lips. “We should probably go.”

Magnus nodded. “We should,” he agreed. Reaching out and grabbing Alec’s tie, he barely had to tug before Alec was falling into him, their lips meeting in a soft kiss that stole the breath from his lungs.

***

Alec tried to keep his eyes off Magnus as they stepped inside the bar they’d agreed to meet Isabelle and the others at, really, he did. It was just that Magnus was…stunning. It was hard to look away from him. Alec shook his head, tearing his eyes away once again.

“Are you sure it’s okay that I came?” Magnus leaned in, whispering even though no one else was around. He’d asked the question a dozen times already, but Alec assured him again.

“Trust me, it’s more than okay. Isabelle will just be happy I showed up and, more than that, I brought someone for once. They’ve been bugging me about it for weeks.”

“Oh?” Magnus asked, mouth quirked up in a smirk. “And what will you tell them about me?”

Alec tilted his head, considering as he let his gaze wander the small bar were Maia worked, no else seemed to be there yet, so he guided Magnus up to the bar to wait.

“That you’re a stranger I met the other night, you’ve been living in my apartment since the art gallery opening, and that we have wild, amazing sex,” he somehow managed to say with a straight face.

Magnus snorted, shaking his head. “So the truth,” he said, winking. “Except for the last part.”

Alec nodded, swallowing dryly. Sooner rather than later, Magnus would be back in London and they’d forget all about each other. He didn’t know why they were holding back, it was only in the one sense, in every other way… Alec was already a goner.

Magnus stared up at him, eyes shining. Alec’s heart gave a faint pang. This was their last night, their last chance. They’d been so careful not to vocalize whatever this was. Alec wasn’t sure he could explain it to anyone, let alone himself. They hadn’t talked about it ending, hadn’t talked about what they felt. He was overwhelmed in that moment with how much he didn’t want it to end. He wasn’t ready for it to end. He wasn’t ready for Magnus to forget about him. He wanted just a little longer. One more day. A few more hours. He didn’t want to go to this party and ring in the New Year only for Magnus to leave first thing in the morning.

Like he could see the emotions playing across Alec’s face, Magnus arched an eyebrow in question, frowning.

Alec cleared his throat, accepting his beer as it was set before him and swallowing a healthy amount before saying, “I’ll tell them you’re a friend.”

“Tell who what?”

Alec looked up, rolling his eyes as Isabelle came in, striding up to the bar, smirking at Alec before her eyes turned to Magnus, growing wide. She gave Alec a knowing look and a subtle thumbs up as she came to a stop next to them, Simon, Jace, Clary, and Maia all trailing behind, tumbling into the bar in a wave of raised voices and laughter.

“Tell you that this is Magnus, my friend,” Alec said, resting his hand on the low of Magnus’ back.

Isabelle beamed, looking Magnus up and down before raising her eyebrow at Alec and mouthing ‘friend?’ with an absurd look.

Alec rolled his eyes again as Isabelle held her hand out to Magnus who was watching the whole thing with an amused look.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Isabelle. Alec’s younger, more beautiful sister.”

“And I’m Jace, Alec’s younger, more beautiful brother,” Jace added, pushing in next to them.

Isabelle rolled her eyes. Alec snorted. Magnus however, took Jace’s hand, looking him up and down slowly before shrugging. “Maybe, if you like blonds. I, however, have always preferred dark hair.”

Jace’s mouth fell open. Isabelle cackled. “Oh. I like you.”

Alec fought back a smile, sipping his beer. There was no reason to be happy his siblings and friends liked Magnus. He would be gone by morning. Alec swallowed with more difficulty than normal, focusing back in on the conversation. He would enjoy this night, make the most of it. And then he’d do his best to forget it all.

The New Year’s Eve party was at some expensive, exclusive club in the middle of the city. Alec had no idea how Isabelle had gotten them in and he didn’t really care, if he were honest. He was only vaguely aware of anything beyond Magnus by the time they got to the club, quickly losing track of the others. His full attention on the way Magnus looked in the tight clothes he’d put on, the way he smirked up at Alec, tugging him into the middle of the dance floor and the taste of champagne on Magnus’ tongue when they kissed. Magnus pressed close to Alec as they danced, eyes shining under the harsh lights of the club, and Alec thought he couldn’t possibly think of a better way to end the year.

Normally, Alec would only come to a place like this grudgingly and then he’d be miserable the whole night but with Magnus there… Alec couldn’t think of a single thing to complain about. He hated dancing and yet he didn’t make a move to leave the dance floor as songs changed again and again, heart racing as Magnus moved against him.

Magnus laughed at something Alec shouted over the loud music, forgetting what it was he’d said as Magnus tilted his head back, laughing in a distracting manner. He stepped closer to Alec, his fingers running lightly through the hair at the nap of Alec’s neck as he blinked slowly back at him. Alec’s breath hitched as Magnus just smiled at him, dark eyes shining. They weren’t dancing anymore. Alec had no idea what time it was, how long they’d been there, how many glasses of champagne they’d shared, all he knew was Magnus was right there, his mouth a bare few inches away from Alec’s. All he knew, was Magnus was here and real and alive and tomorrow he would be impossibly far away.

When they kissed, it wasn’t rushed and messy, built off the tension that had been growing stronger and stronger between them the last week; it wasn’t fueled by the heat that had been building all night in their bodies as they danced together. No. It was soft and searching, asking and telling. It was filled with the knowledge that whatever it was between them wasn’t something that should be brushed aside, it was something real and bigger than either of them knew how to voice or deal with. It was bittersweet, lips brushing achingly slowly together, filled with the knowledge that Magnus was leaving the next day and they’d likely never see each other again because they were doomed from the beginning, to meet and have this week and nothing else because they may as well have lived on different planets. Alec put everything he could into the kiss, the aching he felt, knowing this wasn’t a beginning but an ending. The longing he already felt even with Magnus right there in front of him. The singular emotion that had been growing stronger and stronger since they first laid eyes on each other. Not love, not yet, but the possibility for love.

They held each other tight, the kiss their way of acknowledging everything between them, filled with the pang of loss that had been there the whole time because they only just got a hint of what this could be and now it would end, fade away into the night, both of them knowing they didn’t want it to go, didn’t want to let go of each other, but would have to when the night was over and the new year began.

Alec lingered, drawing the kiss out, unaware of everyone continuing to dance around them as they stood perfectly still. His heart pounded and ached, his blood rushing through his ears as his hands tightened on Magnus, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. It’d only been a week but Alec was already dreading going back to life without Magnus. It wasn’t like Magnus had caused some great change in his life, it still went on as usual, but things were brighter with Magnus around. It wasn’t something tangible, but something inside Alec that reacted to Magnus, that longed for him, that made him think it would be harder to breathe, tomorrow, when Magnus was gone. That made him sure life would be brighter, happier, with Magnus in it.

These thoughts only made Alec kiss Magnus harder, moaning lightly when Magnus kissed back just as intensely. He didn’t want to think about that now. He couldn’t change it. Magnus would leave no matter what, not because either of them wanted him to but because that was how life worked. But they still had the rest of the night and Alec wanted to spend every second of it with Magnus.

***

Magnus was breathing heavy, pressed close to Alec against the cold as they all stood on the rooftop, waiting for the ball to fall and signal the start of a new year. Most people were looking out at the city below but Magnus couldn’t bring himself to look away from Alec. They stood in the middle of the roof, arms wrapped around each other, foreheads pressed together and the clock slowly edged closer and closer to midnight. Magnus could barely hear everyone else over the sound of his pounding heart and the surety in his bones that he did not want to get on a plane in the morning and leave all of this behind.

Magnus blinked up at Alec, breathing shallowly in the cold night. He searched Alec’s eyes before finally asking the question that had been on his mind all day. It was harder to ask then he’d thought it would be. “Are you going to ask me to stay?” he all but whispered, holding his breath after, unsure if he actually wanted to hear the answer or not.

Alec didn’t seem surprised in the least at the question, his only reaction was to smile sadly at Magnus, shaking his head slowly. “Seems like it would be unfair,” he whispered, just loud enough for Magnus to hear over the white noise of the other party goers. “We’ve only known each other for a week. And your life is in London.”

Magnus nodded, swallowing a lump. It was what he’d been thinking too. He couldn’t stay. It didn’t matter how much he wanted to. You didn’t disrupt your life for someone you’d known for a week, no matter how sure you were that, given time, you could fall completely and totally in love with them. He couldn’t cling to this. It wasn’t fair. Alec couldn’t ask him to stay and he couldn’t ask Alec to try and see if this could last. It’d only been a week. That was hardly any time at all even if, in the moment, it felt like forever.

“I want you to ask,” Magnus said through a tight throat, pretending his eyes weren’t burning and that he couldn’t see Alec’s were doing the same. “Even if I can’t stay.”

“I want to ask,” Alec said softly, hands tightening on Magnus’ hips, arm looping around to hold him closer. “But I don’t want to hear you say no.”

“I don’t want to say no.”

They fell silent after that. There was nothing else to say. It was enough to know that this feeling was mutual, that whatever it was they had here, they both felt it and that neither wanted it to end even though it had to.

The countdown started as Magnus was blinking back tears, wiping away the one that fell down Alec’s face. They weren’t sad that Magnus was leaving in the morning, they were sad for all the lost possibilities that entailed. Magnus thought that it would’ve been better, if he’d just left when he was supposed to, if he hadn’t been snowed in, hadn’t tracked Alec down, but, despite the way his heart was aching in his chest, threatening to break with every exhale, he couldn’t bring himself to regret a single moment of it. And he wouldn’t regret that night, as the ball fell and they kissed, slow and tender. He wouldn’t regret a moment he spent with Alec.

When Alec asked him if he was ready to go back to the apartment, Magnus nodded without hesitation, intention and desire thick in the air between them.

***

Alec cursed Isabelle in his mind the whole way back to his apartment. He knew better than to go out on New Year’s Eve, especially to a club. It took far too long for him and Magnus to get back to his apartment — of course, it could’ve taken five minutes and Alec still would’ve thought that was too long.

They rode the elevator to Alec’s floor silently, sharing heated looks, laughing as the tension built between them. Alec’s heart was racing so fast he was sure it would explode out of his chest at any moment. Magnus took his hand, squeezing it twice before tugging him out of the elevator. Alec managed to get the door open without dropping his keys which he counted as a win.

The apartment was dark save for the lights of the city coming in through the windows. He reached for the light switch, but Magnus caught his hand, shaking his head as he tugged Alec close in the dim room. Their eyes met and lingered before they pressed close, mouths slotting together perfectly. Alec’s racing heart calmed as their lips moved together, all the anxiety he’d been feeling melting away just like that.

Magnus’ hands moved to push Alec’s jacket off and he let it fall to the floor. The apartment was actually warm for once, the heater apparently deciding it would work just for one night. Alec’s fingers worked to unbutton Magnus’ vest after he let his own coat fall to the floor, making quick work of gloves, hats, and scarves.

Alec rested his hands on Magnus’ hips, leading him back toward the bed before pulling away, breathing ragged, body on fire, pulse racing. He met Magnus’ eyes in the dimly lit apartment, searching them before asking, “You’re sure about this?” Because he was sure, he knew he wanted this. He didn’t want anything more in that moment. They’d been stopping all week, never going farther than kissing, making out on the couch a few times before abruptly pulling away to cool off. There was nothing Alec wanted more, he’d never been so sure about anything in his life but he didn’t want to do something Magnus would regret.

Magnus nodding without hesitation. He ran his hand through Alec’s hair, pressing close. “I’m sure,” Magnus whispered against his lip, breath hot against Alec’s skin, their eyes locked. “Are you sure?”

Alec nodded. “Yes,” he said just before their lips met again.

Stumbling about as they kicked off their shoes, they fell into the bed in a tangled lump, laughing between kisses, hands moving everywhere, sliding under shirts and undoing buckles. Alec smiled, arching up, chasing Magnus’ lips.

Magnus kissed him fast and messy, their bodies moving against each other before slowing down, letting their lips drag together, tongues brushing slowly. Their hands grew slower as well, less rushed as more layers were shed, and Alec’s heart slowed with their movements. This was exactly what he wanted, he thought. He wanted to go slow, drag the night out so they could both pretend that it would never end. The sun wouldn’t rise, they wouldn’t have to leave the bed, and Magnus wouldn’t get on a plane and fly hundreds of miles away.

***

They took their time, exploring each other’s bodies, learning what they liked, what made the other come undone thoroughly, slowly. This, just like everything over the last week, felt inevitable and perfect. It felt right, leaving like this. Magnus wanted to make sure Alec didn’t forget him and he knew, after, lying curled close under two blankets, laughing and shivering after they came down from their high, that he’d never forget this night. He’d never forget Alec, his smile, his kiss. He wouldn’t forget a single thing about how Alec made him feel.

Alec took Magnus’ hand, sliding his fingers through Magnus’, staring at the way their hands fit together. Magnus smiled softly, looking from their hands up to Alec’s face. His hair was messier than ever, eyes soft, a lazy smile curling up his mouth as they laid close together.

“Hi,” Magnus said.

Alec rubbed his thumb in circles on Magnus’ hand, blinking slowly. “Hi.”

Magnus reached out with his free hand, touching Alec’s bare side, making Alec shiver. “That’s one way to start the new year off right,” Magnus said, his voice soft, not wanting to ruin the quiet of the moment, lying in bed with Alec, lethargic and happy, fingers trailing slowly up Alec’s side.

Alec’s mouth quirked up in a smile and he rolled his eyes. “Can’t think of a better way to start things,” he agreed, turning slightly to better face Magnus who smiled, tilting his head up for a short kiss.

Alec stretched back out, playing with Magnus’ hand, making Magnus feel strange. He was happy, yes. But there was also the pit in his stomach, knowing this was their last night together, their one night to really be together. Magnus almost turned to glance at the clock hanging on the wall before deciding that he didn’t want to know how little time he had left, he just wanted to enjoy it.

Fighting back a yawn, Magnus stared at Alec, wanting to commit this moment to memory so he’d never forget the ache in his chest, the contentment in his limbs, the way Alec smiled and made Magnus’ heart leap.

“Tired?” Alec asked.

Magnus shook his head, entangling their fingers again and resting their locked hands on his stomach. “Not at all,” he lied. He didn’t want to sleep, didn’t want to waste of moment of his last few hours in New York with something so mundane as sleeping.

Alec shook his head, smiling in a way that had Magnus’ heart aching, all soft and warm, his feelings clear in his eyes as he blinked down at Magnus. Magnus swallowed dryly against the wave of emotions going through him, sure in that moment that he’d never had whatever this was with anyone else. Sure he’d never feel this again with anyone else.

“You know,” Magnus said, glancing up at Alec. “I’m glad I got snowed in.”

Alec smiled, leaning down to kiss Magnus. “Me too.”

Magnus sighed, melting into the kiss, tugging Alec close.

Pulling away, Alec reached out with his free hand, brushing a stray hair from Magnus’ face. He settled on his side, staring down at Magnus thoughtfully. “What’d you want to be when you grew up? You know, when you were little?”

Magnus frowned at the sudden question. “What?”

Alec shrugged, staring down at their hands again. “It’s just, we’ve talked about a lot of things over the last week but there are still things I don’t know. Like your favorite color.”

Magnus shook his head, part of him couldn’t believe Alec was real. That he could go from what they were doing a few minutes before to this, all soft, dewy smiles and curious questions. But Magnus understood it, he wanted to know as much about Alec as he could.

Staring down at their hands, Magnus thought for a moment before answering. “I don’t think I have a favorite color,” he said before glancing up into Alec’s eyes. Reaching out to rest his free hand on Alec’s cheek, he reconsidered. “Though I have grown partial to a particular shade of hazel,” he added, leaning in to press a kiss to the corner of Alec’s mouth that was tilting up in a smile.

Leaning back, he sighed up at the ceiling, admitting sheepishly, “I wanted to be a time traveler.”

Alec snorted and Magnus glared at him. “I’m sorry,” Alec said quickly, still smiling. “That’s just not what I was expecting.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “It sounded like fun,” he shrugged.

Alec hummed, turning onto his back and tugging at Magnus until he moved closer, letting his head rest above Alec’s heart. “Did you want to go to the past or the future?”

“Both,” Magnus said, getting comfortable against Alec. “I was going to go back and see the greats paint and sculpt and then go to the future for a flying car.”

Alec snorted. “Of course. I mean, what’s the point of time travel if you don’t get the flying car?”

“Exactly,” Magnus grinned, turning to kiss Alec’s bare shoulder. “And you? What did you want to be when you grew up?”

“A wizard,” Alec said without hesitation.

Magnus snorted. “What?”

For the next hour or so they laid there, hands interlaced as they talked about everything and nothing, voices soft, lips brushing lightly off and on. Magnus was so warm and comfortable that he didn’t even notice when he fell asleep. His last thought was that he hoped it snowed. His only wish for the new year was another storm just so he’d have one more day. Maybe that would be enough.

In the morning, Alec was the first to wake, shaking Magnus’ shoulder lightly to wake him up, pressing a light kiss to Magnus’ lips. “It’s time,” he whispered.

Magnus squeezed his eyes shut tighter, tilting his head up. Alec relented easily, ducking back down to kiss him again, lips dragging together, crashing like they belonged together. Magnus looped his arms around Alec’s neck, tugging him close. He didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to think about going. His chest ached, heart pounding slow and painful. He kissed Alec deeper, trying to drown out the feelings in his chest. If they just kept kissing, everything would be fine, he wouldn’t board a plane and fly away; Alec wouldn’t forget him.

***

Alec stood just inside the airport, holding Magnus close. One hand was cupping his face, the other resting on Magnus’ hip, both of Magnus’ hands rested on Alec’s chest, curling in Alec’s shirt like he couldn’t decide whether he should be pushing Alec away or tugging him closer.

Alec was finding it hard to breathe, his mind refused to move, stuck on this moment, staring at Magnus, trying to comment every line of him to memory, not wanting to forget a single detail. It wasn’t fair, to have only had this one week. Just enough time to fall, to get to know each other but not quite enough for it to go anywhere when they lived thousands of miles apart. Standing there, in the crowded airport on New Year’s day, Alec couldn’t stand the thought that he’d never see Magnus again. It was unacceptable. Impossible. He couldn’t do it. Right then and there, it seemed like something he couldn’t survive, as cliché and dramatic as that sounded. He couldn’t go the rest of his life knowing Magnus was out there and never see him again. But he had no other choice. It’d only been a week.

They lingered just like that, not talking, not kissing, just studying each other, just breathing each other in for as long as they could until Magnus had no choice but to move or miss his flight.

It felt like there was a stone in Alec’s gut, sinking lower and lower, his chest felt empty, his throat tight. He told his eyes not to burn, not to water but couldn’t seem to help it. He looked away.

“Alexander,” Magnus said softly, voice breaking as he reached up, brushing his fingers across Alec’s cheek, shaking his head. Alec looked back, breathing in deeply. Magnus’ eyes were watering too. “We’ll always have New York?” he offered the cliché with a choked laugh.

Alec snorted, shaking his head but it worked. His eyes cleared as he rested his forehead against Magnus’. “I don’t want you to go,” he admitted. “I know it’s only been a week but…”

“I don’t want to go either,” Magnus whispered, rubbing Alec’s cheek. Alec turned his head, kissing Magnus’ palm. “I don’t want to forget you.”

Alec swallowed dryly, looking back into Magnus’ dark eyes that he could so easily get lost in. He couldn’t think of anything to say so he said nothing at all. Magnus leaned in slowly, their lips meeting in a soft, aching kiss. It barely lasted a moment and then Magnus was pulling away, turning his back to Alec and walking through the airport with swift determination.

Alec didn’t look away once, but Magnus never looked back. Alec couldn’t blame him, he knew this was how it had to be or Magnus would never leave and that wasn’t how the world worked. This last week didn’t matter. It was time to get back to reality. Still, Alec lingered until Magnus disappeared around the corner and then he waited a few more minutes, just in case. He didn’t really expect Magnus to turn around, but he wanted to be there, just in case he did.

***

It took everything in Magnus to board the plane. And still, the whole time — checking his bags, going through security — there was a small part of him hoping, wishing, that a sudden storm would roll in and strand him once again. It didn’t. Magnus boarded the plane and went back to London, leaving Alec behind in New York.

Magnus stared out the window for the entire flight, refusing to sleep because every time he closed his eyes, he saw dark hair and hazel eyes and his heart gave this terrible yearning tug.

It was raining in London when Magnus’ plane landed. It felt right, somehow, mimicking the dreary feeling he felt inside, knowing he’d never see Alec again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be bittersweet okay? But there will be a happy ending! This takes place over the course of six years so there will be five more chapters. Sadly, I'm super busy so I can't promise to update immediately but I'm hoping to have part two up soon!
> 
> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are love and make the world go round. Please do let me know if you liked this first chapter and you can also yell at me on [Tumblr @imawriteriwrite](http://imawriteriwrite.tumblr.com/) where I'm likely to post snippets of the next chapters if you want to follow me!
> 
> <3<3<3


	2. Second Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec meet again, one year later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, thank you so much to everyone who read and commented on chapter 1. Thank you for your comments and thank you for being patient as I took forever to post this chapter, I love and appreciate you all!
> 
> If you want you can live-tweet (I'd love if you used the #alxsteele so I can see it!) or spam me on [Tumblr @imawriteriwrite](http://imawriteriwrite.tumblr.com/)  
> ! <3<3<3

For weeks, Alec couldn’t get Magnus out of his mind. He kept seeing Magnus, walking away from him in the airport; smiling right before they kissed; at the gallery that first night when everything changed. It might sound dramatic, to say that everything had changed, but it was true. It wasn’t some big, noticeable change, it was something smaller, subtler than that. It was the way Alec felt, the way he saw the world. It was irreversibly changed because of Magnus. He knew it was crazy, they’d never see each other again; it’d only been a week, that was hardly any time at all. But it was true.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Magnus – smirking at him, laughing, looking like he was finding it hard to breathe as he stared at Alec in the airport that day. And every time, he felt like something was ripping in his heart all over again. It was only a week, but it wasn’t only a week. It was one of the best weeks of Alec’s life. He’d never met anyone like Magnus, who was so unapologetically himself, so smart, and kind, and funny, and yes, beautiful but to limit him to that one description was such a disservice to all that he was. No one had ever made Alec feel like he felt the moment he saw Magnus and every moment since. No one had left him feeling so crushed when they were gone.

The first weeks were the hardest. He kept finding himself staring off into space, wondering where Magnus was right that minute, what he was doing, what he was thinking; if he ever thought about Alec like Alec thought about him. Kept imagining that this was some Lifetime movie and Magnus would show up outside his door one day, even while he knew that couldn’t happen and part of him didn’t want it too. He wanted to see Magnus again, of course he did, but this wasn’t a movie and in real life he could never ask someone to give their life - their career, their friends, everything - up for him. Especially not after just one week.

It took some time but, over the next few months, Alec managed to stop constantly pinning for Magnus. They texted occasionally — Alec would send him pictures of the kittens, keeping him updated as Alec found homes for all but two, and Magnus would reply in kind with pictures of his friends raising their glasses to Alec at the pub or something he saw that he thought Alec would like including random pictures of dogs he met on the street. There was even the occasional flirty message in the middle of the night. They tried talking on the phone once but it was too awkward. The silence between words was too long and drawn out, filled with the endless miles between them. Besides that, and a care package Magnus sent after finding out Alec had a cold in early March, they had no other communication. Eventually, even the little bit of texting stopped as it was too hard, too weird, too much not what they wanted it to be.

Still, as the months passed, Alec found himself occasionally pulling up the few pictures he had of Magnus on his phone, smiling fondly at the memories as winter passed, quickly followed by spring and summer. Fall dawned early in New York and, by then, Alec had resigned himself to the fact that he and Magnus were nothing. This wasn’t a movie. You didn’t fall in love in a week. You didn’t meet your soulmate at a random art gallery and live happily ever after — Alec wasn’t even sure he believed in soulmates. And one of them wasn’t going to show up to surprise the other because, as much as Alec wanted that, he knew it wasn’t how things happened in real life.

By the time winter fell once more and Christmas was upon him, Alec had nearly thoroughly convinced himself that he was over it. They hadn’t even texted in months, it was too hard, too weird, not knowing what they were — friends? Something more? Something less? — not being able to see each other, knowing this could never be anything because they didn’t even live in the same country. Alec still found himself agonizing over the thought that Magnus had found someone else, still caught himself thinking back on last winter, wishing it’d ended differently but it was only wishful thinking. Magnus had probably moved on, forgotten all about Alec. Alec needed to do the same.

Christmas passed slowly. Alec spent the weekend at his mom and stepfathers’ with his siblings and friends, trying not to think about Magnus. The whole drive back to his apartment the day after Christmas, he was remembering the year before, thinking fondly of the art gallery where they’d met. He’d never before stopped to think how lucky they’d been, how impossible their meeting had been. Neither had wanted to be at the gallery that night. Alec had been about to leave. If he hadn’t been ditched by his friends, if Magnus hadn’t been practically forced to come… They never would’ve met.

Alec cut his thoughts off at the thought that it’d been fate. He wasn’t one to believe in fate and even if he was, even if fate was real, it was a bitch. They’d gotten one week. Nothing more. Nothing less. They’d never see each other again. It was almost crueler that they met than if they’d never met at all. But even as he had the thought, Alec couldn’t bring himself to believe that. He didn’t regret a moment of the year before. Or if he did it was only that he hadn’t kissed Magnus enough. That they’d waited so long to sleep together. That he forgot to memorize every inch of Magnus before he was gone.

Alec napped for a while, curled up with the two cats who were still living in his apartment illegally. Waking up when Isabelle called him half a dozen times to talk him into going out. He only agreed because he thought it would be good to get his mind off Magnus. He only had to make it to the new year. Things would be better then, Alec told himself. He’d move on.

Alec ate a quick sandwich before jumping in the shower. There was a knock on the door as he was staring at the mural Magnus had painted on his wall. Maybe he should cover it, he couldn’t look at it without seeing Magnus, dressed in one of Alec’s shirts and a pair of his sweats, covered in drops of paint, with a paintbrush in hand, eyes shining as he laughed at something Alec said while painstakingly painting Alec’s wall.

Shaking his head, Alec stuck the candy cane he’d been eating while getting ready in his mouth as he crossed to the door, expecting to find Isabelle there to make sure he didn’t bail on them.

Swinging the door open, Alec froze, breathing in sharply, nearly choking. To say he was shocked to look up and find Magnus Bane standing there in all his gorgeous glory, was an understatement.

***

Magnus hadn’t intended to spend New Year’s in New York. In fact, he fully blamed Rangor and a very expensive bottle of scotch for the whole ordeal. He spent the entire flight over-thinking everything and had nearly convinced himself to take the first return flight by the time they landed but then… He was there. And Alec was there, in the city, somewhere. And Magnus couldn’t make himself leave without seeing. Just seeing. Whether Alec was seeing anyone. Whether he’d completely forgotten about Magnus or – or hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Magnus like Magnus wasn’t able to stop thinking of him. Whether Alec wanted to spend another week with him. Whether whatever it was they’d found with each other, felt with each other, last year, was still there.

All year, he’d tried to forget about the striking dark-haired man. Tried to erase that week from his mind. Tried to convince himself it was nothing more than one of life’s beautiful little moments. But it was just a moment. And moments passed. It was best to let go of it and move on he knew. And so he’d tried. He’d tried to get lost in his work, tried to forget all about Alec and the way he felt when he was around Alec, but he couldn’t. No matter how hard he tried. He’d manage for a little while but then Alec would pop back into his head and refuse to leave. He just wanted…one more moment. Was that too much to ask for?

So when he and Ragnor got drunk the other night and Ragnor finally got Magnus to divulge all the dirty details of his week in New York; when Ragnor had suggested quite plainly, that Magnus go back… Magnus hadn’t been able to think of a good reason not to. Sure, he tried, he argued with Ragnor for an hour. That if Alec wanted to see him again, he’d say so. That they hadn’t even texted in months. That it’d been a year and Alec had probably moved on, was likely seeing someone. But Ragnor had countered them all, pointing out that Magnus wanted to see Alec again but hadn’t told Alec that. That Magnus hadn’t moved on, Magnus wasn’t seeing anyone else and he had no way of knowing if Alec was. That maybe all of Magnus’ worst fears would come true but maybe they wouldn’t and maybe Magnus would get everything he hoped for and that if he didn’t go, didn’t try, it would always haunt him.

Ragnor had bought the plane ticket as Magnus’ Christmas present. Catarina, Raphael, and Ragnor had all taken him to the airport, wishing him luck, making sure he got on the plane. And now, here he was, standing outside Alec’s apartment, saying a quick prayer to any god listening that Alec hadn’t moved in the last few months.

Magnus steeled himself, eyes closed as he breathed in deeply before knocking.

He heard the footsteps on the other side of the door and forgot to breathe. The door opened. Magnus’ breath hitched, heart stopped, the world froze, lingering in this moment for one drawn out breath.

Alec was just as Magnus remembered. Sure, his hair was a little longer and he’d let his five o’clock shadow linger, which did unexplainable things to Magnus, but he still had the same soft hazel eyes and long lashes, the same long, limber body, dressed in a dark blue sweater and dark jeans, feet bare. The same smile though it was deterred by the peppermint candy cane hanging out the side of his mouth. He still made Magnus’ heart do inexplicable things by doing nothing more than staring at him.

Magnus tried to go for a sexy smirk, but he was pretty sure it landed closer to goofy smile as his eyes met Alec’s.

Magnus swallowed, trying to remember how to speak when he finally managed all he could up with was; “Hey,” voice coming out softer than he intended.

Alec’s eyes were wide, shock written across his face. Magnus struggled to breathe, unable to tell if it was good shock or bad. Reaching up, Alec pulled the candy cane out of his mouth, licking his lips.

“Hey,” he replied in a low, hoarse voice.

There was a stutter in the air, a blink of Magnus’ eyes, and then they were crashing together. Alec reached out, tugging Magnus close, their bodies snapping together like magnets. Alec tasted of peppermint, sweet and warm. Magnus’ heart crashed against his rib cage as his arms slipped around Alec, tugging him closer, closer. Even after a year, their lips fit together perfectly and Alec felt a little too much like coming home.

***

It’d been a year but it felt like no more than a minute had passed as they crashed together, lips meeting in a heated kiss. Alec’s heart felt set to burst from his chest, he couldn’t believe this was real. Magnus was here. In New York. Outside Alec’s apartment. Kissing Alec with barely restrained want. Their hands were everywhere – sliding through hair, under shirts, tugging each other closer, closer, closer. Mouths on fire as they brushed together. Alec wasn’t even sure if he was breathing anymore but he didn’t care. He really, really didn’t care.

Alec lost track of his candy cane, dropping it as his hands came up to cup Magnus’ face. They kissed each other, fast, hard, like they were trying to make sure this was real, this was happening. Alec’s mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, Magnus’ hands at his waist, running up his back, slipping under his shirt as he tugged Alec closer, melting together.

At some point, Alec forgot to breath and had to force himself to pull back, breathing in raggedly. He pushed Magnus’ hair back out of his face, the thumb of his other hand stroking over Magnus’ cheek. Alec closed his eyes, shaking his head, trying to remember how to breathe. He opened his eyes and Magnus was still there, eyes blown wide, chest rising and falling rapidly as he stared back at Alec. The same soft brown eyes, narrowed with want. The same crooked, teasing smile as he stared up at Alec. His hair was shorter, missing its vibrant streaks, but everything else was just as Alec remembered but better because it wasn’t just a memory.

“You’re really here,” Alec said, still shaking his head.

Magnus nodded. “I’m here,” he said, leaning in and bringing their mouths back together in a soft kiss. Lips just brushing, once, twice, before melding together.

Alec grinned, sliding his hands down, wrapping his arms around Magnus’ waist and hauling him closer. Magnus pushed forward, making Alec fall back against the door-frame, kissing him deeply, like he never wanted to stop. Alec could barely breathe but he didn’t care, smiling, still shaking his head as they kissed. His heart was pounding, butterflies swarmed in his stomach. It felt like Christmas morning, like he was finally getting the gift he’d been asking for all year.

He was working on pushing Magnus’ coat off him when he suddenly came back to earth long enough to remember they were standing in the doorway, in clear view of any of his neighbors who happened to step outside.

Alec pulled back, tugging Magnus into the apartment, past him. Magnus laughed and Alec’s heart skipped painfully, he was smiling so wide it almost hurt. He’d missed that laugh, he’d missed Magnus, he’d missed all of this, no matter how many times he told himself he didn’t, tried to convince himself not to. Alec leaned back out into the hall, grabbing Magnus’ suitcase before shutting the door behind him. He slid the lock home before turning to Magnus.

Magnus turned back to him from where he’d been looking over the apartment. They watched each other for a moment, dragging it out. Alec’s heart was beating erratically, pulse jumping about. Magnus looked just like he remembered, dressed casually in comfortable pants and a hoodie under his jacket, having just come from the airport, but he’d never looked more beautiful to Alec. So much better than Alec’s memories.

Alec took a moment to get his breathing under control, slipping his phone out of his pocket and sending Isabelle a quick text before tossing it away.

Magnus raised an eyebrow.

“I was supposed to meet my siblings for some party,” Alec explained.

“Oh?” Magnus asked, raising an eyebrow and smirking.

Alec nodded. “I canceled.”

“Oh?”

Alec snorted, shaking his head as he stepped closer to Magnus, breathing in deeply.

“Why’s that?” Magnus asked, voice low and breathy as he reached out, tangling a hand in Alec’s sweater and tugging him close.

Alec’s hands came to rest at Magnus’ sides, brushing up and down slowly. Their breath mingled, lips just barely brushing as Alec tilted his head, leaning in close, eyes lowered as he stared into Magnus’ eyes.

Alec licked his lips, swallowing dryly. “Because, now,” he whispered, eyes dropping to Magnus’ lips. “I’m busy.”

Magnus smirked. “Yeah?”

Alec nodded, ducking his head and capturing Magnus’ lips once more. This was nothing like the first time they’d been together, on New Year’s. This was filled with months of pining, desire and longing, and happiness at being back together, relief that it was still here, whatever that feeling growing between them was, filling them up until they were laughing into each other’s mouths, quickly tugging each other’s clothes off.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Alec said between rushed kisses.

“Really? I couldn’t tell,” Magnus teased, gasping when Alec dropped to kiss along his neck.

Magnus’ breath hitched when Alec leaned down, wrapping his arms around Magnus’ thighs, lifting him up before carrying him back to the bed. They fell across the bed in a mess of tangled limbs, laughing out of breath as they made quick work of each other’s clothes, mouths only parting when necessary.

They didn’t say much of anything for a while, letting the last year erase itself with actions, lost in passion, in slow kisses and rushed movements until they were both content and fulfilled, lying under the blankets together.

“I take it you missed me,” Magnus smirked, propping himself on one arm to lean over Alec, kissing him once he’d regained his breath.

Alec smiled into the kiss, tugging Magnus’ naked body close against his. “You have no idea.”

***

Magnus kissed down Alec’s chest, hands running up and down Alec’s sides. He was happy, content, but couldn’t stop himself from touching Alec, reassuring himself again and again that this was real, this was happening. He was in New York. In Alec’s apartment. And Alec still wanted him. He kissed his way down Alec’s body, across his abs and lower, smirking at the soft sounds Alec made, only lingering for a moment at the spot Alec most wanted him before slowly moving back up.

“Tease,” Alec glared, arching up when Magnus’ hand moved over his erection.

Magnus arched an eyebrow. “What was that?” he asked, moving his hand away.

Alec snorted, wrapping his arms around Magnus and tugging him close. He rolled them over until he was on top of Magnus. “Tease,” he whispered.

Magnus smirked, tilting his head up for a kiss that Alec easily gave in to before kissing down Magnus’ neck. With a laugh, Magnus rolled them back over. “I wasn’t done,” he grinned, eyes dark and sexy as he leaned down, kissing Alec slowly before making his way back down Alec’s body once more.

It was like no time had passed at all. Like it was the year before again and they’d never parted. It was everything Magnus had hoped it could be again and more because it wasn’t a dream or a fantasy, but real life. Finally.

***

Alec stared up at the ceiling, trying not to smile. Magnus was laying with his head on Alec’s chest, their hands clasped together, the sweat having cooled on their bodies. Outside, snow was beginning to fall. Alec’s Christmas tree shone in the corner, the only light in the room with the cats asleep underneath it. Alec’s heart pounded, slow and content. His body was nice and worn out, sore in all the right places as Magnus played with his hand.

Alec hadn’t dared to hope for this even though it was all he wanted for Christmas, exactly how he hoped to spend his New Years. He didn’t want to disappoint himself, he knew it was unfair to expect Magnus to show up, to ask him too, but he’d wanted it, more than anything. And here he was. Alec’s perfect Christmas present.

Alec turned his head, kissing the top of Magnus’ head, snuggling deeper into the pillows. It was getting later, he was sure Isabelle had been calling and texting all night but couldn’t really bring himself to care.

“You hungry?” Alec asked though the last thing he wanted to do was get out of bed.

Magnus looked up slowly, frowning. “A little,” he said, leaning up to kiss the tip of Alec’s nose. “But I don’t want to get up yet.”

Alec smiled, ducking to kiss Magnus. “Good. I don’t want to either.”

As they continued to lay there, Magnus started talking, telling Alec stories about his students, his friends back in London. Alec laughed and replied with his own stories, the puppies he’d just seen at the hospital, Isabelle’s engagement, how Jace and Isabelle had decided the best Christmas present they could give him was setting him up on Grindr. Magnus laughed a little more than necessary at that last one, prompting Alec to glare at him.

“I’m very popular on Grindr, I’ll have you know,” Alec said, a little stung.

Magnus’ laughter cut off with a snort. He looked at Alec, mouth set in a line as he nodded. “I’m sure you are, darling,” he said, smirking as he leaned up to kiss Alec. “I hope you’ll ignore your fans for the night at least,” he added just before their lips met.

Alec snorted but promptly forgot to be irritated, tugging Magnus close. Their lips brushed together playfully, Magnus’ fingers running lightly over Alec’s chest as they did. The rest of the world may as well not have existed that night, all Alec was aware of was the two of them.

***

Magnus looked around the apartment, letting his eyes take everything in slowly, noting all the little changes. There was now a fluffy burnt orange rug across the cold wooden floor, warm against his bare feet. The heater seemed to actually be working, judging by the fact that Magnus wore little more than a pair of boxers and one of Alec’s t-shirts yet was perfectly warm. Alec’s sheets were now a dark green with the same worn out brown comforter. There was a Christmas tree this year, and dark curtains hung over the windows. The furniture was the same and it still smelled like spices and bitter coffee, far more comforting and familiar than it should’ve been.

Magnus wandered around, letting his fingers trail across the mural he’d painted on the wall, mind turning back to the year before and their fateful meeting at the gallery. Alec came out of the bathroom as Magnus was examining the Christmas tree. It was a fake one, strung with soft blue lights. Alec stepped up behind him, wrapping his arms around Magnus’ stomach and nuzzling against his neck.

“Food should be here soon,” he said, kissing Magnus’ cheek.

Magnus smiled softly, leaning back against Alec. He’d worried it would be awkward, that it wouldn’t be the same, worried Alec wouldn’t be happy to see him. But it was none of those things. It was as if no time had passed at all.

“You got a rug,” Magnus pointed out.

Alec snorted, nodding. “Isabelle forced me. Same with the curtains.”

“Smart girl,” Magnus said, reaching out to touch a small teddy bear ornament. “And you kept my mural.”

Alec smiled against Magnus’ neck, nodding slowly. “Of course, I did. I love it.”

Magnus smiled softly, heart skipping.

“How was your Christmas?” he asked, turning slowly in Alec’s arms. “Did you get everything you wanted?”

Alec’s eyes shone, reflecting the lights on the tree as he smirked down at Magnus. “Not at first,” he said, voice low and soft. “But, eventually.”

Mouth turning up slightly, Magnus narrowed his eyes. “What’d you ask for?”

Alec ducked, kissing him softly before answering against his lips. “You.”

Magnus grinned, wrapping his arms around Alec’s neck. “How serendipitous. I just happened to ask for you, wrapped in a bow under my tree.”

Alec snorted, pulling away to shake his head. “You’re ridiculous.”

Magnus shrugged, tugging Alec back down into another kiss. He would never get tired of kissing Alec. He’d missed it almost as he’d missed being near the other man, seeing his smile, hearing his voice, almost as much as he missed holding his hand.

Magnus’ skin was on fire, heart racing. It was late into the night, verging on morning but Magnus had never been more awake. Their movements quickly turned heated, rushed. Lips burning as they brushed together. Magnus breathed raggedly, eyes closed, head tilted back as Alec kissed along his neck, biting the spot he knew to be most sensitive. Magnus’ knees went weak and he only managed to stay standing because of Alec’s grip on him and the knowledge that if they fell back, they’d go crashing into the Christmas tree.

How had he gone an entire year without this? How had he nearly managed to forget what Alec’s kiss did to him? What it felt to be near Alec? That thread that seemed to tie them together?

As quickly as things got heated, they turned slow once again, lips brushing softly, hands holding on to each other loosely.

The sudden buzz at the front door had them pulling back slowly. Alec leaned back in, ignoring the door entirely. Magnus laughed, pulling away when Alec tried to kiss him again, waving him towards the door to get the food. Alec sighed, kissing Magnus’ cheek before attempting to straighten his hair, tugging his shirt back down from where Magnus had pulled it up as he headed for the door.

Magnus bit his lip, feeling light as he watched Alec walk away. A soft meow at his feet had him looking down. The small gray kitten was still small and gray but a little bigger than he’d been the year before. Magnus crouched down, holding out his hand for the kitten to smell.

“Well, hello there,” Magnus said, voice soft, remembering how easily frightened the cat was. Chairman Meow sniffed his hand, eyeing him wearily before pressing his head against Magnus’ palm, asking for pets. “Long time, no see.”

“He missed you,” Alec said, stepping back into the apartment with a bag of Chinese food.

Magnus’ stomach grumbled as the smell reached him. He scratched the Chairman’s head before standing back up straight. “Was he the only one?” he teased.

Alec smiled softly, heading to the kitchen to pull out plates and silverware. “No. Church missed you too,” he said, nodding to the other cat.

Magnus snorted. “That one hates me,” he pointed out.

Alec shrugged, turning as Magnus leaned against the other side of the counter. “I might have missed you a little.”

“Just a little?” Magnus asked, arching an eyebrow as he looked pointedly from Alec to the unmade bed they’d only just a little while ago been rolling around in.

Alec snorted. “Maybe more than a little.”

Magnus nodded, satisfied. “Good.”

“Good?” Alec laughed, sliding a plate of food and a fork to Magnus. “Did you miss me too?”

Magnus rolled his eyes, chewing slowly. “Alexander, darling, I would not have flown three thousand miles if I didn’t miss you.”

The smile that crossed Alec’s face took Magnus off guard, making his breath lodge somewhere in the back of his throat. Alec’s eyes were wide and soft, shining in the dimly lit kitchen, the corners of his mouth turned up in happiness and disbelief. Magnus swallowed dryly, glancing down at his food. He was so screwed.

***

Alec lasted until the next morning though the question had been burning in him since the moment he stopped to think. The night before, they’d eaten before showering together, ending the night in the early hours of the morning, tangled together in bed, drifting off peacefully. They slept in late, afternoon light flooding in through the curtains when they woke. Alec held his breath before opening his eyes, terrified it’d all been a dream, but Magnus was lying next to him, smiling softly, blinking wide eyes at Alec.

Alec’s heart gave a tug. The question spun through his mind, begging to be voiced even as it made his heart stutter about in his chest.

Magnus’ mouth twitched as he fought a smirk, eyes shining as he reached out for Alec’s hand, lacing their fingers together. Leaning forward, he kissed Alec’s cheek, making Alec’s heart skip about. “Good morning, Alexander.”

Heart fluttering, Alec smiled over at him, amazed that they could do all they did together the night before and he could still feel flustered by a small kiss on his cheek. “Morning,” he replied, pushing worries about morning breath away to kiss Magnus softly, watching Magnus’ eyes close before closing his own.

He left his eyes closed, breathing in slowly as their mouths parted. “How long are you here for?” he finally asked.

Magnus kissed him again, distracting him as his tongue swiped over Alec’s lips. Rolling over onto his back, Alec tugged Magnus closer, sighing when Magnus straddled him, their lips never parting. His heart picked up pace, his body growing hot as Magnus ran his hands over Alec’s chest before cupping his face, tilting his head to deepen the kiss.

Alec forgot all about his question, arching under Magnus, chasing his lips when Magnus suddenly pulled away. They were both breathing heavy, heads resting together, Magnus’ hands wandering back down Alec’s body as Alec’s rested on his hips, holding him close.

“I fly out on New Year’s,” Magnus said, eyes dark and narrowed on Alec’s.

Alec breathed in slowly. Of course. This would end just as last year had. Still, they had five days. That was far more than he’d thought he would get. “I guess we should continue making up for lost time then,” he said, smirking when Magnus laughed.

“I couldn’t agree more,” Magnus said, bringing their lips together once again. Alec’s hands slipped under Magnus’ shirt, quickly tugging it up and over his head, letting it fall somewhere across the apartment. He sat up enough for Magnus to help tug his shirt off before crashing back down, their mouths moving together heatedly.

Magnus’ mouth wandered away from Alec’s across his jaw and down. “Do you have to work?”

Alec shook his head, tilting his head up, giving Magnus more room as he kissed and licked along Alec’s neck. “I have the week off.”

Magnus pulled back, eyes narrowed and dark. “You do?”

Alec swallowed, hands flexing on Magnus’ hips. He nodded. “My boss got fed up with me never taking vacation time,” he explained. “Now seemed like as good a time as any.”

Magnus smirked, shaking his head. “Thank god you suck at taking time off,” he said, ducking to kiss Alec as he laughed.

Thank god, Alec agreed, surrendering to Magnus’ searing kiss without another thought.

***

Magnus hadn’t really intended to spend so much time in bed with Alec. He didn’t know really what he thought would happen. He’d been so busy worrying about what could go wrong he hadn’t really let himself imagine what would happen if it went right. He couldn’t really find it in him to complain about how it’d gone though. They spent that whole day in bed, ordering in food, talking about everything and nothing, kissing, making love.

It should’ve been weird, they should’ve felt the time like miles between them and yet, it wasn’t, and they didn’t. It felt like no time at all had passed. Like they’d never been apart. It was just as seamless and easy as when they first met. They just…fit together. Like this was always how things were supposed to be. Like it was inevitable. Like they were made for each other.

Magnus turned his head where it rested against Alec’s chest, pressing a kiss to his bare skin. “I’m really glad I came back,” he whispered against Alec’s skin.

Alec turned onto his side, facing Magnus who opened his eyes slowly, staring into Alec’s beautiful hazel eyes, knowing he could get lost in there forever and wouldn’t mind it in the slightest.

Alec raised his hand, brushing his fingers over Magnus’ face. “I’m really glad you came back too,” he whispered.

Magnus’ heart expanded and contracted painfully, set to burst. His stomach was a mess of butterflies. He stared at Alec and knew all the excuses he’d given himself all year for not seeing anyone else, not going on more than a handful of first dates, were bullshit. He hadn’t wanted to find anyone else as much as he hadn’t wanted Alec to find anyone else. He’d wanted to come back. He’d wanted them to find each other again.

Lying close like that, it was hard to believe that it had been a year since they first met. That the art gallery had been so long ago. That they’d only had that one week when it felt like surely, they’d just met; surely, they’d been here, together, for years.

Magnus swallowed dryly, tilting his head up. Alec leaned in and their lips met in a soft kiss. Magnus’ hands moved, arms wrapping around Alec, tugging him close. They only had a week, they had to make the most of it.

***

The week passed entirely too fast. The third day, they managed to pull themselves away from each other and out of bed long enough to change the sheets and go out for a bit before stumbling back after a fancy dinner and ice skating, tumbling back into bed once again, laughing the whole time. The fourth day, Alec took Magnus out on the town, making their way through museums and galleries, two of Magnus’ favorite things. After, they went to a nice dinner that Magnus insisted on paying for no matter how many times Alec argued with him. They went dancing at a fancy club Isabelle told Alec about. Alec still hated dancing but still loved doing it with Magnus.

They spent all day, every day together, doing their best to make them stretch out as long as possible. They didn’t talk about Magnus leaving, they didn’t talk about their time apart save to tell funny stories and catch up. Nothing about seeing anyone else, nothing about what would happen when the new year rolled around once again. It was nice, living in the moment, pretending it would never end.

Alec couldn’t help it and found himself hoping — in the quiet moments; lying in bed, worn out and content; holding hands as they walked through the streets; staring at each other across the table as they played footsie — that it could be different this time. It had to mean something, right? That Magnus had come back. That they were still drawn to each other. Still wanted each other. But the realistic part of him knew that the first of the year would still roll around and Magnus would still leave once more. There was no doubt in his mind that whatever this was between them was something big, something more than sex and the excitement of a winter romance, but that didn’t mean it was something that could last three thousand miles apart. So he hoped, he clung to his hope, but he knew it would still play out the same. There was only one way for it to go and it wasn’t how he wanted.

On the twenty-ninth, they met up with Isabelle, Simon, Jace, and Clary at the bar where Maia worked as her second job. They all had plans to do separate things for New Year's Eve so Isabelle had wanted a final get together before the new year. Stepping out of the cab, Alec turned to Magnus with a soft smile, catching his hand and tugging him close for a soft kiss before they went inside.

It was a small, classy bar that was mostly empty during the early hours of the evening. Maia was behind the bar, wiping down glasses. She looked up, smiling at Alec before raising an eyebrow when she saw he wasn’t alone. Alec rolled his eyes as she gave him a thumbs up. He turned back to Magnus to see him smirking, staring at the pool tables in the back.

Alec shook his head before Magnus had the chance to say anything. “No. No way. You’re a cheater.”

Magnus snorted. “What? I am not.”

Alec turned, giving him a knowing look before leading him to the booth that Maia gestured too.

“Come on, Alexander,” Magnus said, pouting as he pulled his jacket off. He reached out, tangling his hand in Alec’s green sweater and tugging him close, blinking wide eyes up at him. “It will be _fuuun_.”

Alec rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “No way,” he repeated.

Magnus leaned in closer, letting his eyes drop to Alec’s lips. Alec’s breath hitched as Magnus breathed into his mouth. “Please?”

Alec gave in, leaning in to kiss Magnus who pulled away just as their lips touched, grinning victoriously. “I win.”

Alec shook his head, trying not to smile. Still grinning, Magnus rested his hand on Alec’s chest, leaning in to kiss him when the door opened, letting in the raised voices that were so familiar to Alec who sighed, hanging his head as Magnus pulled back.

A sharp wolf whistle cut through the bar. Shaking his head, Alec turned to face his friends, glaring halfheartedly. Isabelle and Jace were smirking while Simon whistled, and Clary smiled, rolling her eyes at all of them.

“Remind me why I agreed to this instead of spending alone time with you?” Alec asked, lowering his voice so only Magnus could hear.

Magnus snorted. “Beats me.”

Alec shook his head, grabbing Magnus’ hand and tugging him towards the group as they headed to the bar to order drinks.

“You remember Magnus, right?” Alec asked once he reached the others who were openly watching them, the opposite of being subtle.

“Magnus…” Isabelle started, frowning before her eyes went suddenly wide. “Magnus! Of course,” she said, tugging Magnus into a hug while staring at Alec over his shoulder, giving him a look he recognized well as her ‘tell me everything’ look.

Alec nodded as the others greeted him. “He’s back in town for New Years,” he explained.

“Uh-huh,” Isabelle said knowingly. “Business or pleasure?” she teased.

Alec looked away, clearing his throat.

Magnus just smirked, wrapping his arm around Alec’s waist. “Who says it can’t be both?”

Despite wanting to keep Magnus to himself as much as possible, Alec had fun. They drank and played pool. Jace kept challenging Magnus again and again and again, determined to beat him even though Jace had never once even beat Alec at the game. Magnus got along perfectly with everyone though Alec wasn’t surprised. They’d only spent a little time together the year before but they’d already showed promise of becoming friends. Besides, Alec was almost positive there wasn’t a single person Magnus couldn’t get along with if he wanted to.

It was late into the night, they’d eaten and drank and Magnus and Jace were onto throwing darts, when Isabelle sat down across the booth from Alec, sighing dramatically. “Tsk. Tsk, brother dearest,” Isabelle sighed. “I feel like you’ve been holding out on me.”

Alec shook his head, hiding a smile as he watched Magnus destroy Jace at a game of darts. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, looking back at Isabelle as he took a drink of his beer.

“Oh yeah. Clearly, the guy from last year was ‘nothing’. Just ‘someone you happened to meet’ who you’d ‘never see again’ but it was ‘fine’ and ‘not a big deal’,” Isabelle said with an abundance of air quotes and a haughty glare.

Flushing slightly, Alec glanced away.

“What’s going on, Alec?” Isabelle asked, her voice growing soft as she reached out, touching his hand. “The guy you’ve been pining over all year is back and what? Just for another few days? Why didn’t you tell me?” Isabelle asked, looking slightly hurt.

Alec swallowed dryly, staring down at his bottle, picking at the label. He shrugged. “I didn’t know what to say. I mean, I don’t know. I didn’t even know he was coming but…”

“But you’re glad he did?” Isabelle prompted, eyes shining. “Come on, this is good right?”

Alec shrugged. “I am glad he did,” he admitted, letting his eyes drift to Magnus again. Magnus threw his head back, laughing at something Jace was saying. “I’m happy. I wanted him to come. And it’s good. But…”

“He’s leaving again.”

Alec nodded, tilting his bottle back and draining the last of it. “On New Year’s again.”

“And you don’t want him to?”

Alec swallowed dryly, forcing himself to meet his sister’s eyes. He shook his head slowly. “I don’t want him to, but he has to. I can’t ask him to stay.”

“Are you in love?” Isabelle asked, her expression – mouth turned down in pity, eyes wide and soft – said that she already knew the answer so Alec didn’t bother with saying it aloud. It was stupid. How could he have fallen in love so quickly? So impossibly? With someone he wouldn’t see again for another year?

Isabelle reached across the table, squeezing his hand. “Enjoy it while you can, brother. And tell me everything this time.”

Alec laughed, nodding before standing. He crossed the bar to Magnus, wrapped his arms around Magnus’ waist from behind, breathing out slowly when Magnus immediately relaxed against him. Alec resisted the urge to tighten his grip as the thought crossed his mind that he never wanted to let Magnus go. It was an unfair thought. That’s not how this worked.

“Ready to get out of here?” he whispered, nosing against Magnus’ hair.

He could hear the smirk in Magnus’ voice when he answered. “I could be persuaded to leave, yes.”

***

“What are we?” the question came in the middle of the night as they laid together on the couch, curled close, staring up at the ceiling. They’d gotten home from the bar a bit ago, retiring to the couch with hot chocolate to talk for awhile. Magnus really didn’t care what they did these days, as long as it was together. He was tired and comfortable and exactly where he wanted to be, basking in this break from reality, and that was enough for him.

The question caught him off guard, making him breathe in harshly. He turned slightly so he could look at Alec, their breath mingling, searching his eyes as he tried to figure out what to say. The truth was, he had no idea what they were. He had no doubt that, if they lived in the same place, they’d be together – they’d date, be boyfriends, maybe even more, eventually – but they lived three thousand miles away from each other. They’d met a year ago and spent barely two weeks together altogether. There was something here, obviously, something more than two people who had great sex and enjoyed each other’s company, but what?

Magnus smirked, going for lighthearted as the lights on the Christmas tree reflected in Alec’s eyes. He rubbed Alec’s arm that was wrapped loosely around Magnus’ waist, enjoying the feeling of being so close together. “We’re… a winter romance.”

Alec arched an eyebrow, mouth tilting up in a half smile.

Magnus swallowed before continuing, getting lost in Alec’s wide, hazel eyes. “We’re two people who are crazy about each other. Who work good together but live over three thousand miles apart,” he explained, heart pounding louder and louder by the minute, the words bitter on his tongue. “We’re a… An affair. A fleeting moment of happiness. We are…whatever we want to be. I… I wish we could be more,” he finished, suddenly unsure. He didn’t like thinking about this. He didn’t want to admit that that was all they were, that as much as he wanted to be more, it was impossible.

Alec’s eyes were wide and soft, his touch light as he reached out, running his fingers over Magnus’ cheek before leaning down to kiss him softly. Magnus’ heart felt set to shatter in his chest, sparks flew when they kissed, Magnus’ heart ached when Alec touched him so lightly, so carefully, like he was something precious.

“I do too,” Alec whispered when he pulled back. “What do you want?”

“What?” Magnus frowned, feeling slightly hazy after that kiss.

Alec smiled, rubbing his thumb along Magnus’ cheek. “You said,” he started, voice low and breathy as he brought their lips together softly between words. “That we’re whatever we want to be. What do you want?”

Magnus raised an eyebrow. “What do I want?” he smirked, leaning in to kiss Alec again, talking with their lips brushing. “You,” he said, mouth opening for Alec’s tongue as the kiss deepened. Magnus’ hand tangled in Alec’s shirt, tugging him closer.

“I want you and me, here and now,” he continued, voice low, pausing every other word to kiss Alec again. “I want this week to last as long as possible and to pretend we never have to return to the real world. That we can just stay here, you and I and nothing else.”

Magnus swallowed when he finished, pulling back to meet Alec’s eyes. He hadn’t meant to say all that. “And you?” he finally asked.

Alec smiled softly, leaning down to rub their noses together. “I’m good with that.”

“Yeah?” Magnus asked.

“Yeah,” Alec nodded. “Sounds pretty perfect.”

Magnus stood, holding his hand out to Alec and walking backward to the bed. “Let’s not talk about it then, okay?” he offered. “Just…enjoy the rest of our time together. No talking or thinking about what happens after. Just…being here. Now. With each other.”

Alec nodded, following Magnus to the bed. “Sounds perfect,” he said just before their lips met in a heated kiss that distracted them for the rest of the night.

***

“Come on, just tell me where we’re going?” Alec asked, as close to begging as he would get, pouting slightly with his eyes puppy-dog wide as he tugged on Magnus’ hand, pulling him to a stop.

Magnus glanced over at him, snorting. “We’re almost there,” he said, tugging on Alec’s hand until he started walking again. “Be patient,” he added in a low voice with a wink.

Alec rolled his eyes but said nothing else, following Magnus through the busy streets of downtown New York City. They’d spent the day shopping (something Alec normally hated but found was a lot more entertaining when done with Magnus Bane) and having fun, enjoying each other’s company while trying to ignore the fact that their time together was swiftly running out. It’d worked. Alec had found it fairly easy to forget everything else when confronted with Magnus’ teasing smile or narrowed eyes as he looked Alec up and down slowly every time he tried on a new outfit.

Alec was so busy watching Magnus that he barely noticed when they came to a stop. Magnus smirked at him, rolling his eyes before nodding at the building they’d stopped in front of.

Looking up, Alec immediately recognized the gallery, how hadn’t he realized this was where they were heading? His heart pounded as he was immediately reminded of the moment he’d first seen Magnus, across the room, staring up at the chandelier. Of course, this was where Magnus had brought him.

It was a tall, three-story building. Looking in the front windows, Alec saw that most the lights were off, leaving just enough on to see.

Frowning, he turned to Magnus, raising an eyebrow. “What are we doing here? It’s the middle of the night, they’re closed.”

Magnus smirked, pulling his hand from his pocket, showing off a pair of keys. “Is it?” he asked.

Alec shook his head, tugging Magnus close to kiss his cheek softly. “Do I even want to ask how you got those?”

“No,” Magnus beamed, pulling away to open the door. “It will ruin the mystery of me.”

Alec snorted, heart skipping. He was pretty sure nothing could ever ruin the mystery of Magnus Bane.

***

“Wait, wait, wait,” Magnus said, laughing as he pushed Alec into place. “You were right there,” he said, adjusting Alec’s stance slightly before backing up across the room.

“And I was here,” he said, heart skipping at the soft laugh Alec let out, eyes shining from across the room. “You were watching me because, obviously.”

Alec snorted, shaking his head.

“And I decided to take pity on you because, well, obviously,” Magnus smirked his most sexy smirk, letting his eyes roam up and down Alec slowly.

Alec laughed again, fighting a shiver before crossing the room to pull Magnus close, kissing him softly. “And the rest is history,” he said between kisses.

Before Magnus knew it, Alec had tugged him into the center of the room, holding him close.

“You know,” Magnus started softly, staring at where his hands rested on Alec’s shoulders as they danced in the empty gallery with no music on, just the two of them, swaying slowly. Magnus’ hand trailed across Alec’s shoulder, down his arm and back up before he finally met Alec’s gaze. “I’m really glad we met.”

Alec swallowed thickly, eyes widening slightly like he hadn’t expected to hear that. “Yeah?” he finally asked, voice soft.

Magnus nodded, wrapping his arms around Alec’s neck to bring him closer. “Yeah,” he whispered, bringing their lips together. His heart pounded in his chest, louder than anything in the gallery. He hated how good this felt, how right. Hated it because the day after tomorrow it would all end again and then what? He didn’t want to forget Alec, he didn’t want this to be just another fleeting memory.

Alec dragged his lips away slowly, blinking his hazel eyes open to look into Magnus’ brown eyes.

“I…” he let the word hang for a minute, searching Magnus’ eyes before finishing. “I’m so happy I met you.”

Magnus grinned, heart doing that strange fluttering thing it liked to do around Alec.

“Come on, let’s wander,” he said, taking a step away before Alec caught his hand, tugging him back into his arms.

“We haven’t finished our dance,” he said, nosing against Magnus’ cheek when Magnus raised an eyebrow at him.

Biting back a smile, Magnus stepped closer, resting his head on Alec’s shoulder, wondering if there was any way for this night to last forever.

***

They were walking through the gallery, looking at all the art, careful not to leave a sign of their presence, Magnus explaining what it was about different pieces that he liked, when Magnus suddenly trailed off, halfway through discussing a piece.

Alec turned to him, eyebrow raised.

Magnus stared straight ahead at the painting for another minute before letting out a deep breath and turning to Alec. There was something in his gaze, something vulnerable that made Alec’s heart skip and skyrocket.

When Magnus finally talked, his voice was soft, edged with that same vulnerability as he met Alec’s gaze head on. “Are you going to ask me, tomorrow?”

Alec’s heart stopped. He swallowed, fighting the urge to look away.

“To stay?” he asked, easily catching on. It wasn’t hard. It’d been on his mind for days, maybe even since Magnus showed up at his apartment that first night. Of course, Alec wanted to ask Magnus to stay, just as he’d wanted to ask him to stay the year before but… He didn’t know if he was allowed to and he didn’t think it would change things, either way.

Magnus’ Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, nodding slowly. His brown eyes were soft and wide under the dim lighting of the gallery.

There was white noise in Alec’s ears, a soft buzzing at the base of his skull. He knew exactly how this would play out, knew the words like they’d been scripted for him. He’d memorized all the moves, knew exactly how it would end and still, he didn’t want it to. Was it too much to hope it didn’t have to end? That was the only bad part of all of this. The end. Couldn’t they just…avoid it? Just for now?

“Would you say yes?” Alec whispered, barely loud enough to be heard despite the silence surrounding them. He swallowed, asking a little louder. “If I asked, could you say yes?”

Magnus stared at him, dragging out the moment like he was trying to deny it, like he didn’t want to have to admit it, like he hoped somehow that he could give Alec the answer they both wanted.

Alec knew the answer, but it still hurt.

***

Magnus wanted to say yes, every inch of him screamed at him to say yes. Every ounce of him yearned for it, wanted to stay there with Alec, forever. It didn’t matter where they were, didn’t matter that Magnus had always thought he hated New York – it didn’t even matter that they’d only know each other for two weeks and that was a ridiculously short amount of time for this kind of thing. All that mattered right that moment was that Magnus didn’t want to leave. Not again. Not yet. Not before he had the chance to figure out what this could be. He didn’t want this to be nothing but one week a year.

But that didn’t matter. He couldn’t lie to Alec, couldn’t lie to himself.

“No.” The word was less than a whisper, a vague exhale, barely a word at all. But it was out there, and Magnus was sure he could hear both their hearts breaking even though they’d both always known this. “I’d want to say yes, though. If it’s any consolation.”

Alec swallowed, eyes dark, mouth set, hand squeezing Magnus’ tightly. He nodded slowly, leaning down to bring their lips together in the softest brushing, whispering, “I’d want you to say yes too.”

Magnus’ heart broke like a wave crashing against the shore, inevitably, softly, like that was what it was made to do. He breathed deeply, chest empty, mind spinning, trying to figure out how to get out of this moment, get back to the feelings from before.

Alec met Magnus’ gaze before tugging him closer, ducking to whisper in his ear, “Penguins.”

Magnus froze, frowning. Processing what Alec said, he snorted, pulling back to meet Alec’s eyes. “What?”

Alec smiled, shrugging. His hazel eyes shining as he looked down at Magnus, making Magnus melt. “I don’t know, no one can be sad when thinking about penguins,” he pointed out.

Magnus studied him for another minute before shaking his head and laughing softly. “You’re ridiculous,” he whispered, tugging Alec close and crashing their mouths together.

Alec was ridiculous. All of this was ridiculous. Magnus had never believed in love at sight, still didn’t, not really. But…but maybe. Maybe he was changing his mind.

When they pulled back, smiling softly at each other, Magnus turned, leading Alec to the place his friend had left a bottle of champagne for them. Alec shook his head, laughing while refraining from asking Magnus just how he managed to arrange all this. It hadn’t been that hard, really. Catarina knew the owner of the gallery and had called in a favor. It’d just felt right, coming back here, where it all started.

They finished exploring the gallery, sharing the bottle of champagne between the two of them before taking a cab back to Alec’s apartment.

Laughing as he fell back against the wall, tugging Alec with him, their mouths meeting in a heated, frenzied kiss, Magnus couldn’t bring himself to regret a single moment of the time they’d spent together, knowing, deep down, that he wouldn’t change any of it for the world even if it broke his heart to leave again.

“God,” Alec groaned, attempting to get even closer, hands moving up under Magnus’ shirt. Magnus shivered at Alec’s throaty voice and warm touch. “You’re so beautiful.”

Magnus’ breath caught in the back of his throat and he pulled back abruptly, meeting Alec’s sincere, albeit confused, gaze. Magnus’ heart ached, sudden and painful. The confusion in Alec’s eyes cleared quickly as he ran a hand back through Magnus’ hair, tugging him closer, staring right in his eyes.

“You are, you know,” he said softly, breath brushing over Magnus’ lips. “So beautiful.”

Magnus was finding it hard to breathe as he swallowed dryly. He’d had people call him beautiful of course but never in quite the way that Alec did it, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, an indisputable fact.

Not knowing what to say, he smirked, tugging Alec closer by his belt loops. “You’re not so bad yourself,” he said, leaning up to kiss Alec softly.

Alec snorted, shaking his head against Magnus. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Magnus grinned. “Now, I believe we were in the middle of something,” he prompted.

Alec arched an eyebrow. “Anxious to get back to that are you?”

Magnus rolled his hips against Alec, smirking when the action made Alec’s pupils dilate. “Just a little.”

Kissing him hard, Alec wrapped his arms Magnus, making him laugh when he picked him up and carried him back to the bed they’d barely left the last few days. Magnus landed on his back with a laugh, tugging Alec down with him.

Magnus kicked his shoes off, moaning into the kiss as Alec made quick work unbuttoning Magnus’ shirt. A few minutes passed, sharing soft kisses, slowly undressing each other when Magnus suddenly pulled back.

Alec panted above him, pausing when Magnus pulled back, both of them shirtless but still wearing pants. Alec watched him closely, eyes blown wide with lust even as his expression changed to concern.

“What?” Alec asked, breathless as he brushed Magnus’ hair out of his face. “Is everything okay?”

Magnus nodded, turning to kiss Alec’s palm. “Yeah,” he said before clearing his throat. “Yes, it’s just…”

Alec frowned, eyes bright in the dark room as Magnus tried to get his thoughts together, fingers moving in circles along Alec’s back, holding him close.

“Just what?” Alec prompted softly.

Magnus forced himself to look up from Alec’s bare chest, back to his eyes. “Just,” he said, leaning up to press a soft kiss to Alec’s lips to distract from the words he was about to say. “I was thinking,” he continued, kissing Alec again. “That, I can’t stay but… I could come back. Next year. If – if you want.”

Alec froze, eyes wide, staring down at Magnus as he seemed to hold his breath. Magnus had never felt more vulnerable in his life, instantly regretting the words. They had no way to know where they would be next year, they couldn’t make this kind of promise but… but, it would be easier, to leave, to _breathe,_ if they had plans to see each other again.

Magnus sat up suddenly, making Alec fall back. He scooted up the bed until his back hit the headboard, shaking his head. “Never mind,” he said quickly. “Forget I said anything.”

“No,” Alec said, quickly following him, kneeling on the bed in front of Magnus and taking his hand. “No,” he repeated, shaking his head. “I mean, I do want. That. Next year.”

Magnus swallowed, forcing himself to meet Alec’s eyes again, swallowing dryly. “But—”

“That’s a long time from now and everything could change? There’s no way to know how we’ll feel next year?” Alec asked, voicing Magnus’ thoughts exactly. “That’s the logical thing to think but this…” Alec trailed off for a minute, staring down at where he held one of Magnus’ hands in both of his. “Whatever this is between us, Magnus, it’s never been logical. I promise, even after a year has passed, I’m still going to want you to come back.”

Magnus swallowed dryly, finding it hard to breathe as he stared at Alec, trying to memorize his dark hazel eyes that were so bright and sure, his mouth curved up in the smallest smile, hair more of a mess than usual.

“I’ll still want to come back,” Magnus said. There was more, words brewing in the back of his mind, crazy thoughts that he could come back more often, that they could make this word, but he pushed them all aside, tugging at Alec until he fell on top of him once more, their mouths meeting in a slow, passionate kiss.

***

Alec had made all kinds of plans for how they would spend New Year’s Eve. They’d go out for breakfast. Take a stroll through the park. Go to some of Alec’s favorite places. They’d stop by his mom and stepfather’s New Year’s party before going out to dinner where Alec had just managed to secure them a great reservation. Then they’d go back to the apartment where they’d watch the ball fall and watch the fireworks from his balcony. He had every minute planned and they did none of it. In fact, they barely left bed all day.

When they finally did, it was only long enough to go to the grocery store and buy supplies to cook dinner together, along with excessive amounts of chocolate and ice cream because, as Magnus said, New Year’s Eve was the perfect day to eat whatever you wanted guilt free as you’d just promise yourself to do better the next year. They also picked up a few bottles of champagne that they got into as soon as they returned to the apartment.

They took their time cooking, laughing and kissing all the while, distracting each other with champagne tinged kisses. They had the TV on but the volume off until a band Magnus liked would perform and Magnus would tug Alec to the middle of the room to dance with him, laughing good-naturedly when he tripped over his own feet.

They ate too much and drank too much champagne, curled close on the couch, talking about everything and nothing. Alec didn’t allow himself to think about what the new year would bring, about everything going back to normal once again which shouldn’t have been as depressing as it was. Every time his mind slipped that way, he took another drink of champagne or he kissed Magnus again.

They went through all three bottles of champagne, making it easy not to think. They were sitting on the kitchen counter, eating ice cream and feeding each other chocolates when midnight struck. They heard shouts from the street, and leaned in, getting lost in a soft kiss that tasted like mint chocolate ice cream and champagne.

Alec tugged Magnus to the balcony to watch the fireworks, easy falling against Magnus when he tugged him close.

“Happy New Year, Alexander,” Magnus said, eyes shining, smile soft yet sad.

Alec swallowed dryly, whatever he was going to say was forgotten as Magnus kissed him.

***

“So…next year,” Alec said, barely loud enough for Magnus to hear. They’d woken late in the morning, both with hangovers. Magnus was almost thankful for it as it helped to numb the pain as they stood just inside the airport, Magnus’ hands resting on Alec’s hips as they said goodbye once again.

“Next year,” Magnus agreed. He lingered as long as he could, holding Alec close. As the final boarding call sounded, he swallowed dryly, looking up at Alec, sure everything he was feeling was written clear across his face. The aching, the longing, the bittersweet sadness lingering in his bones. He didn’t want to go. Even more than he hadn’t wanted to the year before. Coming back this year had only made things worse. Only made his feelings stronger. Only made him fall even further for Alec.

He caught himself just before he could tell Alec how he felt, telling himself that you couldn’t fall in love over two weeks, and knowing that even if you could, saying it would only make things worse. Instead, he leaned in, tugging Alec down into a rushed, heated kiss.

He had to force himself to pull away. His heart throbbed, breaking slowly, piece by piece as he turned away from Alec. Every step away felt like the hardest thing he’d ever done but he kept moving. Kept going. Until he found himself seated on the plane with an aching heart, wishing for something to go wrong. To have a reason the plane couldn’t take off. Anything to strand him just a little longer.

When the plane took off, Magnus turned his head to the window, reminding himself to breathe. It was just a week. It was just fun. It was just a year. It was just a year, he found himself stuck, repeating that, it was the only part that mattered. It was just a year. Less than really. Not even a year. And then he would see Alec again. And then, maybe, he’d find a reason to stay.

If he’d known how much it would hurt, leaving Alec again, Magnus never would’ve come back to New York. Except he knew that was a lie. As much as it hurt, he’d bare it and more, for one more moment, one more kiss, let alone the entire week they’d had. It was worth it. More than worth it. What they had… Magnus didn’t have words for, but he knew it was worth so much more than the aching in his chest as the plane took off and he moved further and further away from where he wanted to be, by Alec’s side.

Just a year, Magnus thought all the way home. Just a year and then they’d be together again.

But things never go according to plan. No matter how much you want them to. You can’t ever plan for the turns life gives you, the plot twists it throws at you. And even though Magnus spent the first few months of the year counting down the days until the day after Christmas, texting Alec, daydreaming about when they’d be together again, and even though he bought his ticket to New York the day he got home, months and months in advance; there was one thing neither of them could plan for. That was the summer that Magnus met Camille.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SORRY. I am so so sorry for that ending. I'm sorry. I promise things will get better! In the next chapter even, I promise. I'm sorry. I'm going to try to have chapter three up by the end of the month! <3<3<3
> 
> So...er. Have any favorite parts or lines?
> 
> Thank you for reading, lovelies. I love you. Remember, comment and kudos are love and if you want to yell at me you can do that on[Tumblr @imawriteriwrite](http://imawriteriwrite.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> P.s. slight SPOILER but I want to reassure everyone since Camille is Satan that there won’t be much at all with her. The next chapter will be angsty but anything related to Camille will end in chapter 3. I promise it will be worth it in the end. Magnus and Alec are soulmates and I don’t mess with that!


	3. Third Time’s Not Exactly The Charm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec and their third winter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took longer than intended to post, sorry! <3
> 
> SLIGHT SPOILERS but I just want to get this out of the way real fast: Magnus is with Camille in this chapter. But you barely see any actual Camille. And, while Magnus is trying to convince himself he’s in love with Camille, he is not and that is explicated stated. Magnus is just hurting and scared of what he feels for Alec but I promise they’re in a better place by the end of this chapter. Also, there's absolutely no cheating or anything like that.

Alec had known as soon as Magnus came back the year after they first met — even before then — that it would be hard, painful. Of course it would, he had feelings for someone who lived three thousand miles away, but it hadn’t taken much to convince himself that it was worth it. Despite himself, he believed that somehow it would all work out in the end because you didn’t feel what he felt for Magnus and not get a happy ending. You couldn’t.

He was naive but, at the time, he’d just been so sure. That Magnus felt the same way. That somehow, eventually, they’d figure it out. Despite the common sense that told him this wasn’t a rom-com, this was real life and things didn’t work out like they did in the movies. That they lived in different countries, that they’d only known each other for two weeks and they wouldn’t see each other for another year. Despite all of that, Alec was still convinced that, somehow, this would all work out. Because what he felt for Magnus, it was too big, too real, too…amazing, for it to just fade away into the night, buried under the snow that fell all winter long and into the spring that year in New York.

The first days were the worst, Alec pulled himself from bed every day but only grudgingly. His apartment looked duller somehow, all of New York dimming without Magnus next to him which was stupid because Alec had lived here all his life, loved New York long before he even met Magnus, but that didn’t change how he felt. And he felt like Magnus had taken his heart with him when he left.

Still, it got better. Or maybe better wasn’t the right word but, within a couple weeks, life returned to normal. His heart skipped every time he received a text or call from Magnus and he daydreamed about the next year far too often, daydreamed about saying screw it and jumping on the next plane to London but this wasn’t a movie and he couldn’t just drop everything and do that, couldn’t interrupt Magnus’ life like that, no matter how much he wanted to. And he did want to. He thought about it all the time, almost brought it up once or twice but always chickened out because — because what if Magnus didn’t want him to come there? What if this didn’t work outside their one week?

So, instead, he counted down the days thinking — hoping — that maybe, if he could just make it one more year, make it to new year’s, maybe something would be different this year, maybe, impossibly, Magnus would stay. But that was a daydream he rarely let himself indulge in.

Eventually, the snow stopped and spring came later than usual but there all the same, not lasting very long before summer beat it out. Alec worked weekend shifts at the animal shelter, spent time with his friends and family, and froze when the cute man who worked at the coffee shop on the corner asked him out before fumbling through an excuse for why he couldn’t, mind conjuring images of Magnus grinning at him and it was stupid because the coffee shop guy was cute and nice and funny, he doodled on Alec’s coffee cup, and Alec wasn’t in a relationship, he wasn’t with Magnus like that and yet… He couldn’t bring himself to say anything but no. He spent the weekend dwelling on it, staring at his phone and trying to get up the courage to call Magnus or text but falling asleep before he managed to do either.

Just like the year before, their texting and calling had slowly tapered off before stopping altogether. It was too hard. Alec didn’t want to have a relationship over the phone – if it could even be called that.

It was well into summer when it happened. Alec was at the bar near his apartment, waiting for Isabelle to show up, they were planning on catching a movie and getting pizza. Alec sat at the bar, nursing a beer and idly scrolling through Facebook. He hated social media of all kinds, but it was amusing to scroll through Facebook when he was bored. He liked a picture Maia had posted of a cat they’d seen that day at work, commented a sarcastic remark on Jace’s picture of his abs, and was just about to close it, quickly bored of all the same posts that people posted again and again, when his feed refreshed and his heart stopped.

Alec blinked, sure he was seeing things. His heart in his throat, attempting to choke him.

**Magnus Bane has changed his status to _in a relationship with Camille Belcourt_.**

Numbly, Alec clicked over to Magnus’ profile. He’d forgotten they’d even become friends because he was barely on Facebook. He felt like he was going to be sick, the taste of bile thick in the back of his throat as his stomach whirled, knuckles turning white as he gripped his phone tighter. He wasn’t seeing things, Magnus had changed his status and updated his profile picture from a picture of him with a drink in hand to a picture of him with a striking dark-haired woman kissing him on the cheek as he smiled widely.

Alec had stood before he knew what he was doing, shoving his phone in his pocket and nearly knocking over his stool in his hurry. He didn’t know what he was doing, where he was going, he just knew he needed to go, to do something, to work off this sudden painful energy filling his body, making his hands shake. He felt suddenly, vividly like he was in a nightmare and if he could just wake up, just breathe, everything would be right again.

The bar became a blur as he threw some money on the counter, turning and stumbling his way to the door only to stop short when Isabelle walked in, grabbing his arm. She barely had to glance at him to know something was wrong. Her smile quickly replaced with a look of concern, as she grabbed his arm and tugged him off to the side, out of the way of the door.

“Alec, what’s wrong?”

What’s wrong? What was wrong? Nothing. Nothing was wrong, it was just that Alec couldn’t seem to breathe, that was all. His lungs had frozen, no air was getting in, was it? No, that wasn’t right. It had to be or he would’ve passed out by now, it just _felt_ like he couldn’t breathe, like he was suffocating; like something heavy was sitting on his chest. It was just that Magnus was _in a relationship_. And that wasn’t really the problem though, was it? No, the problem was that Magnus was _in a relationship_. And it _wasn’t_ with Alec. And of course, it wasn’t. Of _course_. Because they’d known each other for all of two weeks altogether and what was that in the grand scheme of things? Nothing apparently. It was nothing. Of course, it was nothing. Life wasn’t a movie, you didn’t see someone from across the room and fall in love and live happily ever after. You got two weeks and then you forgot all about it. He was lucky to have even gotten that second week, really.

“Alec?” Isabelle repeated, hand tightening on his arm. “Talk to me, you’re freaking me out.”

Alec blinked, focusing on his sister.

Numbly, he pulled out his phone. Clicking back over to Magnus’ profile, he held his phone out to Isabelle who narrowed her eyes in confusion before taking it from him. Her eyes moved over the screen quickly, face falling. She looked back at Alec, eyes soft with pity.

“Alec…”

“I —” Alec opened his mouth but nothing else came out.

Isabelle pocketed his phone, grabbing his arm in a tight grip and tugging him back to the bar. “Come on. Time to get drunk.”

Alec followed his sister numbly, sliding into a booth in the back of the bar as Isabelle ordered their drinks. He barely heard what she was saying, his mind stuck on those six words, flashing through his mind again and again. Magnus Bane is in a relationship. _Magnus Bane_ is _in a relationship_. Alec had no idea what Isabelle had ordered him but it was strong and burned going down as he swallowed it the moment it was set before, vaguely registering Isabelle asking the waitress to keep them coming.

“Alec, talk to me,” Isabelle said in her no-nonsense voice.

Alec cleared his throat, blinking until his empty cup came into focus. “Talk?” he asked. “About what? It’s nothing. I was overreacting, that’s all.”

“Alec…”

Alec shook his head, closing his eyes and running a hand through his hair. “I mean, really, what did I expect?” he asked, the numbness fading as the alcohol settled warm in his stomach. “That we could just go on like this forever? Meeting for one week a year? Of course, he wouldn’t wait for me. That’s stupid. Ridiculous. We aren’t anything. We just — have sex once a year. That’s…nothing. Of course, he found someone else. Someone beautiful and successful who lives in the same time zone, the same country, as him. I mean. Really, I should’ve been expecting this. Just because he said he’d come back next year didn’t mean he was going — going to become celibate or something.”

Isabelle reached out, stilling Alec’s hand when his drink was delivered, and he immediately reached for it. “You’re hurting, Alec,” she said, when he finally met her eyes. “And it’s okay, alright? It’s okay to be hurt and sad and even heartbroken. Okay?”

Alec shook his head.

“No,” Isabelle said sharply. “Listen to me, it’s _okay_ to feel heartbroken. He meant something to you and this…really, really sucks. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known each other or how far away you live, you can be sad about this. Okay?”

Alec took a deep breath, eyes closing. He nodded stiffly.

“Good. Now, we’re going to sit here and drink and be sad and then we’re going to find someone to help you forget — if you want.”

Alec swallowed dryly, nodding again. He wasn’t so sure about the finding someone part but the rest — the rest sounded pretty good.

“Oh my god, when did you get an Instagram? And how do you have so many followers?” Isabelle demanded later that night when they were both well on their ways to being shit-faced, grabbing Alec’s phone from his hand as he opened Instagram to stalk through Magnus’ recent posts.

“Magnus made me get one so he could follow me.”

Isabelle made a low humming sound, scrolling through Alec’s Instagram. “Oh, well, now I understand.”

“What?” Alec asked, smiling at the waitress as she dropped off another round of drinks.

“Why you have so many followers.”

“Why?” Alec asked, honestly curious as he attempted to the get the straw from his drink in his mouth.

“Because,” Isabelle laughed, turning the phone to face him. “You post pictures of your beautiful, dark-haired self with _kittens_.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. _Oh_.”

“Give it back,” Alec said, reaching for his phone.

Isabelle shook her head, putting the phone back into her bag. “Nope, big bro, I am not letting you drunk text Magnus.”

Alec pouted but forgot all about it when one of his favorite songs suddenly came over the speakers. He jumped up, grabbing Isabelle’s hand and twirling her around. Laughing with his sister, he briefly forgot how he even ended up here, drunk and melancholy even in the midst of smiling. It was a fast song that had them both tripping over their feet, falling against each other laughing until Jace showed up to help them get home, the responsible one for once.

Alec didn’t find anyone to go home with that night or the next or the next. But a week later, when he went to the coffee shop on the corner and the cute man behind the counter doodled on his cup once more, Alec found himself asking him out for drinks that night and when, after three or four, the cute barista asked Alec back to his apartment and Magnus’ status update flashed through his mind, he said yes.

Things returned to normal once more. Alec eventually stopped stalking Magnus’ Instagram; stopped fantasizing about going to London; stopped counting down the days until after Christmas. He even stopped posting on his Instagram as he’d only done it so Magnus would see it. Eventually, as the months passed and Autumn dawned, filling New York with crisp air and falling leaves, he even managed to convince himself that he was over Magnus, resigning himself to the fact that they were doomed to be nothing more than an affair he’d look back fondly on twenty years from now. It was good enough. Even with the pain that lingered in his chest and the memories stalking the back of his mind, he would still never trade those two weeks with Magnus for anything in the world, even if it meant being heartbroken for a little while.

***

If you asked Magnus what the single most insane thing he’d ever done was, it wouldn’t be the time he was banned from Peru or any of his other adventures from his misguided youth; it would be going to New York for one night and falling in love with a dark-haired man of his dreams. Magnus couldn’t even explain what it was between them, what had been between them since the very moment they laid eyes on each other. But it definitely won as the craziest thing he’d ever done. Who fell in love over the course of two weeks with someone who lived three thousand miles away?

It might’ve been crazy, and stupid, and anyone who heard the story might think they’d just got caught up in things, that they weren’t really in love. There were dozens and dozens of times when Magnus thought the same, thought there was no way he was in love with Alec, that he was just getting swept up in things but then… Then, he’d find himself lying in bed at night, staring at the few pictures he had, reliving their time together, and his heart would ache, not in a terribly bad way but not in a terribly good way either, and he’d just know; this couldn’t be anything but love. It wasn’t full out undying love, maybe it wasn’t even spend-the-rest-of-your-life with this person love, not yet anyway. Maybe it was just the first tinges but from the moment Magnus saw Alec… It was like something in him recognized him, saw what was coming, what would inevitably happen if they were given the chance to fall fully, and he’d never been the same.

But then things had happened. Another year had passed and even crazier than all of that, Magnus has started seeing someone else. And he was happy. Really happy. So why was he stepping off a plane in New York the day after Christmas feeling miserable? Why had he lied to Camille, telling her that he had business in New York? Why did it feel like he couldn’t breathe, staring out over the New York skyline? Why, when he was so sure he was happy with Camille, did he feel more from just the thought of seeing Alec than he did when he was with her?

Magnus closed his eyes, forcing the questions, the doubts, firmly away. He had no answer for any of those questions but here he was, hailing a taxi, giving the driver Alec’s address, possibly about to make one of the biggest mistakes of his life. And yet, he couldn’t stop himself. He knew it was stupid, he knew it would hurt, and yet, here he was.

Magnus closed his eyes, resting his head back against the seat, trying to remember how to breathe, trying not to compare what he was feeling now with what he was feeling this time last year. Trying not to notice how much of a difference a year made. Trying not to think at all because thinking only made that terrible feeling in his gut worse.

Leaning forward, he gave the driver a new address, deciding it might be better to go to his hotel first.

***

Alec had always loved Christmas. The way New York City looked covered in snow, the music, the drinks and treats — hot chocolate, apple cider, candy canes and Christmas cookies, even Starbucks over-hyped holiday drinks — he loved going ice skating and buying presents. He didn’t even mind the crowds all that much. Okay. That last one was a lie but still. He loved Christmas. Except this year all he could think was that he wouldn’t see Magnus, that the one thing he wanted was the one thing he couldn’t have and that…sucked. That really, really sucked. He’d spent the last six months trying to forget all about Magnus, trying to move on, and he’d thought he’d been doing a good job. Until the week of Christmas when all he could think about was Magnus and he could no longer lie to himself.

He tried not to be a scrooge, he didn’t want to be. He wanted a normal, happy Christmas. He wanted to enjoy himself and then throw himself back into work to survive the week after. He thought, if he could do that, survive that last week of the year, then it would get easier. He could move on, let Magnus fade into a distant memory. It was easier said than done, however.

He spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at his mom and stepfather’s house, ignoring the worried and curious looks everyone kept shooting him, pretending not to see Maryse talking to Isabelle while sending glances his way, easily telling him they were talking about him. Pretending not to see Luke’s searching looks.

They had a loud breakfast, filled with laughter and a small food fight before opening presents in the living room. Everyone pitched in for dinner, filling the large kitchen, talking constantly while soft Christmas music played in the background. Alec allowed himself to be pulled out into the snow for a snowball fight, managing to lose himself in his family and friends for awhile, laughing and shouting until they were all thoroughly covered in snow.

It wasn’t until after dinner, as they were all settling around the living room with the fireplace going and the blinds open to watch the falling snow that Alec’s chest grew tight again, stomach sinking. Magnus wasn’t coming to New York tomorrow, he’d probably never see him again. Magnus was probably even then spending Christmas with his girlfriend, happy and content, not sparing a single thought for Alec.

And he hated that thought and he hated that he was resentful of everyone in the room with him, jealous of Clary and Jace sharing an armchair, and Isabelle and Simon who sat on the couch, his feet in her lap, smiling doping smiles at each other, and even Maryse and Luke, talking softly to each other on the other couch. He was the only one that was single, alone. He hated that. He hated that he felt betrayed because there was nothing for Magnus to betray, he’d done nothing wrong; it wasn’t his fault that he fell in love with someone else. He fell in love with someone else.

Alec closed his eyes, leaning back in his chair, heart aching. It was stupid, he was stupid. He should be happy for Magnus. Or at least, he should move on from Magnus. It shouldn’t be this hard when they barely even knew each other.

Alec stared down at his hot chocolate, shaking his head. It was Christmas and he was happy for his siblings and his mother, and Magnus. They all deserved their happiness. It’d just… Well, it’d be nice to find his own.

“Alexander,” Maryse said, getting to her feet suddenly. “Help me with the dishes?”

Alec nodded without comment, standing and following her to the kitchen.

“You’ll find it too, one day, you know?” his mother said abruptly when they were about halfway through cleaning up the mess in the kitchen.

Alec looked up from a plate, arching an eyebrow.

“Love,” she said simply. “Like your brother and sister. One day you’ll have it too and I know it’s terrible, waiting, but once you find it… You’ll be glad it took so long because it wouldn’t have been the same, if it happened sooner.”

Alec swallowed dryly, turning back to the dishes. He didn’t know how to tell her that he thought he’d already found it, but it didn’t matter because it would never work. Didn’t know how to voice the fear in his gut that he would never have Magnus again and he would never find anyone who even slightly met his expectations, who came even the littlest bit close to making him feel a fraction of what he already felt for Magnus. So, he didn’t say anything, just offered her a small, sad smile and finished the dishes.

Alec didn’t get home until late on the 26th. He’d picked up a shift at the animal shelter after leaving his mother’s house that morning, spending some time with the tiny kittens that hadn’t been old enough to be adopted before Christmas, before heading home. He dragged his feet the whole way, sighing as he finally stepped into his apartment. As had become the usual, he avoided looking at the wall Magnus had painted on his way across the apartment to the bathroom to shower. He couldn’t look at the painting of the streets of London but he also couldn’t bring himself to cover it.

The last thing he wanted to do was go out but he knew Isabelle was right, it would be good for him. Alec was only half dressed, a pair of tight black jeans on as he ran the towel through his hair to attempt to dry it, when there was a knock on the door. Alec headed to it without thought, discarding his towel but not bothering to grab a shirt.

He flung the door open with a sigh before his eyes landed on the person waiting on the other side, heart leaping into his throat. He nearly choked on air, his heart stopping for a good thirty seconds.

“Magnus.”

***

Magnus had made a huge mistake. He was an idiot, what was he doing? Why had he come here? What did he think would happen? And why-why was he with someone else when he hadn’t even seen Alec yet and his heart was already skipping around wildly in this terrifyingly amazing way? All of this flashed through his head in the seconds between him knocking on the door and Alec opening it.

He was an idiot. This was a mistake. Alec was standing before him with shock written all over his face, his hair wet, standing up straight, with the tightest pair of jeans possible, his torso bare and glistening — honest to god glistening — from just getting out of the shower. Magnus’ brain short-circuited, leaving him flailing.

Magnus opened his mouth but nothing came out, words stuck somewhere in the back of his throat.

Alec’s mouth slowly turned up in a smile, eyes bright for one brief moment before he seemed to remember something and they dimmed, growing darker than ever as his mouth formed a straight line. _He knew._

When he talked, his voice was low, cold, unlike Magnus had ever heard it. “What are you doing here?”

The words jarred Magnus out of his stupor. “I — uh. I—” Magnus stopped, clearing his throat. He had no idea what to say but, luckily, just then, the elevator opened behind him, releasing a group of people who were laughing amongst themselves. Magnus turned, heart sinking further as he recognized Alec’s friends and siblings just as they caught sight of him and came to a sudden, deafening stop.

Magnus was an idiot.

***

Alec was… Alec didn’t know what he was. He was…freaking out? Panicking? Felt like he was dying? He couldn’t stop looking at Magnus and yet he was trying so hard not to. He was having trouble breathing, paying attention. Most of him was still in disbelief that Magnus was here, in New York, across the table from him, at Alec’s favorite restaurant. Most of him was torn between pain and anger because Magnus was here but he shouldn’t be here because _they couldn’t be here_. They couldn’t be them — they couldn’t have what they’d had the last two years because — because Magnus was with _someone else_ even if she wasn’t here.

He’d thought — for one pure, simple moment — he’d thought Magnus had broken up with her. That, he didn’t know, maybe it’d all been some joke and he’d never been _in a relationship_ or maybe he realized — maybe he realized he wanted to be with Alec. But then that moment had passed, and Alec had read the look of panic on Magnus’ face like he didn’t know what he was doing there at Alec’s door or even how he got there to begin with. Like he shouldn’t be there, and everything had come crashing down around him and now he didn’t know what he — what _they_ — were doing.

Isabelle had taken one moment to look between the two of them before forcing a bright smile and pushing everyone into Alec’s apartment. While Alec finished getting dressed, she’d made painful small talk with Magnus who barely seemed to even be paying attention. She’d invited Magnus out with them — more, Alec knew, because she didn’t know what to do than any other reason. She’d grabbed Alec’s arm before they all left, holding him back as Simon talked off Magnus’ ear.

“What’s he doing here?”

“I don’t know.”

“Is he…still with _her?”_

“I don’t _know_.”

“Are you okay?”

“I… Don’t know.”

And now here they were. At the dinner that was supposed to keep Alec’s mind off Magnus but that was pretty damn near impossible when Magnus was right across from him. Alec hadn’t really planned on drinking much, at least not at dinner as they were going to the bar to meet up with Maia who was working the night shift, after. But when the waitress came to take their orders, he quickly changed his mind. If he was going to have to sit across from Magnus, he needed something to help

“So…” Isabelle said, clapping her hands together and looking back and forth between Magnus and Alec from where she sat next to Alec. “Alec didn’t tell us you were coming this year.”

Alec swallowed dryly. He relaxed in relief as soon as their drinks were delivered, taking a quick sip to calm his nerves. And then another. He finally forced his eyes back up to Magnus’, taking in the other man in a way he hadn’t let himself before. Magnus looked… The same but different. He was as gorgeous as ever, with the same deep brown eyes, the same hair spiked up, makeup darkening his eyes; the same ear cuff, the same soft, full lips. He was dressed casually, in dark jeans and a soft looking dark blue long sleeve, his plane attire. But his eyes weren’t shining and there was something off about his smile, something helpless about it as his mouth turned up in a crooked, self-deprecating way.

“I… Didn’t know I was coming,” he finally said. “It was a bit of a spur of the moment thing.”

Isabelle nodded, sipping her wine and clearly trying very hard to act like this was all very normal and casual. Alec loved her for it. It was better than Jace’s glaring from the other end of the table or Simon’s helpless confusion.

“So. Um. What do you do again? In London? Alec told me, but I forgot,” Isabelle continued trying to break the awkward silence that was strangling their entire table.

Alec dropped his gaze from Magnus, staring at his drink but not touching it.

“I’m a professor,” Magnus said, leaving it at that though Alec knew he could talk about his job for hours and hours and never grow bored.

Silence fell again, everyone around the table looking at each other awkwardly or their drinks awkwardly. The waitress must’ve noticed as she quickly appeared to take their orders. Alec barely looked up from his drink, even while ordering. He wasn’t hungry, but he could see no way of getting out of this.

“So, you’re an artist, right?” Clary asked. Alec appreciated her attempt, knowing for a fact she already knew the answer to that question considering one of the only two times she’d met Magnus they’d spent at least an hour talking art to each other.

Magnus hummed thoughtfully, nodding. His eyes were on Alec and he looked a lot like he was regretting coming to this if Alec could read him correctly from stolen glances. Alec took another drink, finishing it and smiling gratefully when the waitress appeared not a moment later with another. He made a mental note to leave her a big tip.

Alec was barely aware of most of dinner. Magnus stared at him. Alec pointedly stared anywhere but at Magnus. After another drink, he started joining the conversation with the others. Magnus relaxed as well but they were so obviously avoiding each other that it did nothing to alleviate the awkward tension.

When they finished with dinner Alec held back, walking next to Isabelle to the bar.

“This is fun,” Isabelle said. Alec was so relieved that she wasn’t asking if he was okay again that he laughed, shaking his head.

“So fun.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked half a block later.

Alec shrugged, watching Magnus a few feet ahead of him, talking animatedly to Clary because of course. Even with whatever was between them, Magnus was still Magnus, he still fit perfectly anywhere, including Alec’s friend group.

“I don’t even know what’s going on,” he admitted.

“You should talk to him,” Izzy pointed out thoughtfully. “Maybe he broke up with her. Maybe he’s here just like he intended, because he… Likes you too.”

Alec swallowed, shaking his head. “I can’t do that.”

“Why?”

“Because, I don’t think that’s why he’s here.”

“You don’t think he broke up with her?”

Alec didn’t reply, staring down at the street as they walked. He couldn’t explain it but it was just…obvious. To him. This was nothing like the year before, everything between them felt different, changed. If Magnus had broken up with her, they wouldn’t be here right now. They would’ve been kissing as soon as Alec opened the door. He would just know. And he knew that wasn’t what this was. He was sad and hurt but he wouldn’t blame Magnus for moving on. He would, however, blame him for coming back to what — rub it in Alec’s face?

Isabelle squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. “Maybe you’re wrong.”

Alec hummed but said nothing else. He wasn’t wrong.

They weren’t at the bar for an hour or so when Magnus appeared at Alec’s side, inclining his head to the side. “Get a drink with me?” he asked.

And really, what was Alec supposed to do? Say no? He couldn’t avoid Magnus forever even if that had been his initial plan. His initial plan also hadn’t included Magnus actually showing up this year. So, Alec followed Magnus to the bar, finishing the beer in his hand as he went.

Magnus turned to him as soon as they placed their orders, leaning against the bar, gaze intent on Alec. Alec swallowed dryly. Magnus was so, so achingly familiar and all Alec wanted to do was reach out and tug him closer, pull him into a kiss and forget all of this but he couldn’t and he wouldn’t.

Magnus drummed his fingers against the bar, obviously trying to calm his nerves which was another thing that was different. Alec had never seen Magnus nervous before. “I think I owe you an explanation,” Magnus finally said.

Alec swallowed dryly, pulling his eyes away from Magnus and leaning forward on his elbows on the bar. “I saw your Facebook update,” he said, before Magnus could continue. “Months ago.”

“Oh,” Magnus said, eyes going wide. “ _Oh.”_

“Yeah.”

“I…” Magnus trailed off as their drinks were set before them, staring down at his hands. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Are you still seeing her?”

“Yes.”

Alec nodded, throat tight.

“Alec—”

Alec shook his head. “No,” he said, taking a deep pull of his beer. “You don’t have to explain, you don’t… Owe me anything.”

Magnus fell silent, hand tightening around his glass. Alec wished he didn’t notice that, didn’t notice the way Magnus tensed up or the pained look in his eyes. Wished it didn’t make him feel guilty because why should he feel guilty?

“I didn’t mean for it to happen,” Magnus finally said.

Alec shrugged, staring resolutely at the bottles lined up along the back of the bar.

“Can we just — talk? Please? I came all this way to see you.”

Alec turned to him then, unable to hold it back any longer. The pain and anger, the resentment. He couldn’t blame Magnus for falling for someone else — he wouldn’t, no matter how much he wanted to because that wasn’t fair. But he _could_ blame him for coming back. He’d been all ready to survive this stupid week, to move on, and here Magnus was, marching back into his life again like nothing had changed, like he hadn’t changed things and Alec — Alec just didn’t understand _why_.

“I—” Alec shook his head. “No. Not right now. I’m sorry, I can’t do this.”

Magnus’ eyes went wide before he dropped his gaze back to his drink, clearly understanding everything that had just gone through Alec’s head. He shook his head, looking up with a sorrowful expression like he was trying to apologize for meeting someone else with his eyes. “Alexan—”

“Why are you here?” Alec interrupted because he couldn’t do this and he needed to know and he — he just needed to know.

“I… I don’t know. I just — I couldn’t not come.”

That wasn’t good enough but Alec bit his lips on the words, throwing back his drink before pushing away from the bar.

“Wait,” Magnus called. Alec was weak, so he waited but he didn’t look back at Magnus. “I’m staying at — at the same hotel. Will you meet me for breakfast? So we can talk?”

“I—” And Alec just, he couldn’t say no. No matter how badly he wanted, he couldn’t. Not when Magnus was looking at him like that, like Alec’s answer meant everything to him, like he couldn’t bear to see Alec turn away from him. “Text me,” he said, turning to go back to the table. He felt Magnus’ gaze on him all the way across the bar until he’d sat, back to Magnus. He didn’t look, not right away, not until the drink Jace immediately pressed into his hand was nearly gone. When he did, Magnus had already left.

Isabelle squeezed his arm. “You okay?”

Swallowing dryly, Alec nodded. Of course, he was perfectly fine. Perfectly, perfectly fine. Unless you counted feeling as if your heart had just been torn from your chest as not fine. Then he probably wasn’t that fine at all.

***

Magnus got back to his hotel room late after spending hours walking aimlessly around the city, trying to figure out what he was doing. He’d always prided himself on knowing himself, knowing his emotions, knowing what he wanted and getting it, no matter what because he was too stubborn not to. Which meant he was completely lost those rare times he suddenly realized he had no idea what he was doing.

Magnus knew himself inside and out and yet, he couldn’t for life of him figure out what he was doing. Maybe he was just lying to himself, maybe he wasn’t ready to face the truth, but it was rearing up in front of him fast and brutal now that he was here, in New York, with Alec. How had he ever thought this was a good idea?

He felt like he could barely breathe, torn apart by his own emotions.

Magnus was exhausted by the time he got back to his room, flopping down on the bed still fully dressed, staring blankly at the dark ceiling above him. He barely slept that night, mind running in circles, seeing that hurt, confused look on Alec’s face every single time he closed his eyes. By morning, he felt even more like shit as he dragged himself to the bathroom to shower, swaying slightly on his feet.

It had occurred to him, many times throughout the night, that it might be best if he simply went home, forgot all about this. But… But, he couldn’t bring himself to do that. It also occurred to him that clearly he’d come here because he wanted to, he wanted to see Alec, couldn’t bare not to and that — well, that probably said a lot about his current relationship but he refused to look at that so closely before he’d even had coffee.

He was at the restaurant when Alec texted, saying sorry, he’d forgotten he had to work that morning. Magnus stared blankly at the message for a few minutes, barely aware of the world around him before he slipped his phone away. This was a mistake, all of it. What had he thought was going to happen? What had he thought he could do? Come back and explain to Alec why he couldn’t come, why they couldn’t have another year, why they couldn’t be together? All he was doing was hurting Alec and that was the last thing he wanted, he just… He couldn’t not come. And he just… He’d felt — and he couldn’t _breathe._ For months after leaving last year, all he could think about was Alec. He couldn’t bring himself to go on a date for the longest time. He’d thrown himself into work, getting caught up enough in it because he loved his job and he loved London and he loved his life there but — somehow — it felt…incomplete now, like it was missing something, like it was missing Alec and that — that was _terrifying_ because they barely even knew each other and Alec could _not_ mean that much to him yet.

Magnus left the restaurant without eating, a tip on the table as all he’d ordered was coffee. He’d made a mess of…everything. He’d ruined it all. He shouldn’t have left last year, he shouldn’t have come this year, he shouldn’t have — he shouldn’t have done a lot of things.

***

Alec worked later than he had to, spending time with the kittens before going home to his empty apartment. Well, mostly empty. Church and Chairman Meow were still there, curling up on Alec’s chest as he sprawled out across the couch, not even bothering to kick off his shoes. He stared at the ceiling for what could have been minutes or hours, mind going in circles around the Magnus problem — all he wanted to do was see Magnus, talk to him, but he couldn’t, wouldn’t let himself as it would only make this stupid pain in his stomach even worse.

Alec laid there for hours, vividly aware of everything he and Magnus had done on this could the year before. He didn’t know when but, eventually, he finally drifted off to sleep.

***

Magnus had been about to call the airline to change his ticket to an earlier flight when he got Alec’s text.

**Winter love:** Izzy and Si are hosting their annual pre-new year’s eve party. I thought you might want to come?

Magnus knew he shouldn’t and yet, within seconds he’d sent his reply, telling Alec he wouldn’t miss it for the world.

What was he doing?

***

What was Alec doing? Inviting Magnus to the party? Was he trying to torture himself? He just… God, he hated it, but he couldn’t stand the thought of never seeing Magnus again. He couldn’t stand the thought of Magnus going back to London and — and kissing her on New Year’s. It was stupid, and it was selfish, and whether Magnus was in New York with him or London with her it wouldn’t change the fact that he was _with her_ but Alec never claimed to think rationally when it came to Magnus. He couldn’t help himself.

God, he was so screwed.

***

It was awkward and painful, more so than Magnus had been expecting but of course it was. All Magnus could think about, all night, through stilted conversation with Alec about their lives the last twelve months, jobs and friends, careful conversation steered around the one topic neither of them could bring up — no matter how many of the bright blue cocktails Isabelle made that they drank; All he could think, all he could see, was memories of the last two years. Of lying on Alec’s couch, pressed close as Alec asked him what they were and Magnus stuttered through an answer because he couldn’t tell him the truth, that he didn’t know what they were and that terrified him. Of painting Alec’s wall so he wouldn’t forget Magnus and cuddling in a bed full of kittens; walking around New York with their hands interlocked. It was making it hard to breathe, honestly.

Simon and Jace came up to them at one point, stumbling into each other, obviously drunk. Magnus missed whatever they said, too busy noticing the way the corner of Alec’s eyes crinkled. His heart stuttered at the sound of Alec’s laugh that took Magnus back to the night they met, walking for hours and hours around the art gallery, talking about everything and nothing. Magnus had felt it then, the possibilities hanging in the air between them.

Magnus stared at Alec as his friends and siblings and everyone around them in the expensive flat, chanted a fake countdown. Magnus was suddenly back at Alec’s apartment, the year before, lying on the couch as the real ball fell and all he could think now was, how did they get here? How did he get from being so happy it was kind of scary to…this? Barely being able to look at or talk to Alec?

Like he was thinking the same, Alec set his drink down and took Magnus’ hand, turning and leading him out of the room. Magnus’ heart skipped at that smallest contact, their fingers entangling. They ended up on the roof, the wind bitter and biting, turning Alec’s nose red as they hadn’t grabbed their jackets.

“Alec—” Magnus started, heart stuttering when Alec let go of his hand.

“What are you doing here, Magnus?” Alec asked before he could finish, not even knowing really what he was going to say.

“I—” Magnus opened and closed his mouth, shaking his head.

Alec stared at him, gaze as cold as the air around them. He turned away, shaking his head.

“I just — I don’t understand. What happened?” he asked, turning back to Magnus, gaze softer but fierce, his walls up like he was expecting Magnus to hurt him. Magnus was struck for a moment by how ridiculous that thought was until he realized that he’d already hurt Alec more than he ever intended. His heart seized as he thought, for the first time, about how he would’ve felt, seeing Alec change his status on Facebook, to learn that Alec was seeing someone else, and then to have him show up —

Magnus swallowed bile, shaking his head. “I don’t know,” he finally said. “I just — I had to see you.” He shrugged, looking as helpless as he felt.

“Why?” Alec demanded.

And Magnus… Magnus owed him the truth, he knew that, but he wasn’t sure he even understood the truth himself because he shouldn’t be here, he knew he shouldn’t be here. He should be in London with his friends and his — Camille. He shouldn’t be standing here wishing he could erase the entire last year and stop Alec from looking at him like that, like every second was killing him, like Magnus was killing him. He hated that look. He hated every single way Alec had looked at him since he arrived. Hated the hours wasted, sitting around his hotel room wondering what the fuck he was doing. He wanted to go back, he wanted Alec to look at him with that soft smile, eyes shining as he leaned in to kiss Magnus. He didn’t — he didn’t want any of this.

“What are you doing here, Magnus?” Alec asked again, the anger leeching from his voice until he just sounded…tired. So, so tired.

“I don’t know. I wasn’t going to come but then… I couldn’t stand the thought of not coming and I – I don’t know. I missed you. I wanted to see you and I didn’t think — I didn’t _think_.”

Alec stared a moment after Magnus fell silent before shaking his head slowly, like that wasn’t good enough. Magnus watched him leave and then he stood there for a while longer, fingers going numb as he stared at the place Alec had disappeared.

***

After another night spent tossing and turning, Alec woke early and showered. He grabbed coffee and a muffin from the coffee stand on the corner but threw them away after a bite and a drink, he was too wound up to eat and the last thing he needed just then was coffee. He cleared his throat as he walked into the fancy hotel, wiping his sweating palms on his jeans as he asked the person at the front desk which room Magnus Bane was staying in.

The whole elevator ride was spent convincing himself again and again to just leave but he couldn’t. He had to know what Magnus was doing here, why he came. He — he had to know if Magnus still felt for him, in any way, what Alec felt for Magnus. He walked down the hallways slowly, trying to pull his thoughts together but it was pointless as they scattered again the second Magnus opened the door.

“Alexander,” he said, surprise written clear across his face.

Alec swallowed, eyes slowly mapping Magnus, committing this to memory even though he wasn’t so sure he’d want to remember it. “I… Can we talk?”

Magnus’ eyes were wide, his stance anything but casual as he considered Alec for a moment before nodding and stepping back, gesturing for Alec to come in.

“I don’t understand,” Alec said, as soon as he stepped in the room. He took in the room quickly, noting the luggage already packed and waiting near the door, the bottle of wine left over from the night before, before he turned his full attention back to Magnus. “I thought — I thought we had something. Something special. And I just —” Alec paused, taking a moment to breathe. “I have to know if it meant as much to you as it did to me.”

“Alec…” Magnus started, shaking his head slowly. He was all soft brown eyes and chiseled features, his hair wasn’t spiked up for once, lying flat. He wore loose black pants and a gray hoodie and he — Alec just wanted everything else to go away so he could tug Magnus close, hold him, but that wasn’t possible. His chest ached.

“Please,” Alec said, voice threatening to crack as his hands curled into tight fists. “Just answer the question.”

Magnus didn’t hesitate, looking straight at Alec as he spoke, the words making Alec’s heart race painfully. “It did,” he said, voice impossibly soft. “It meant just as much to me. Of course, it did. It – it still _does._ ”

Alec breathed out harshly, closing his eyes for a brief moment. He shook his head, opening them again to stare at Magnus like he’d never seen him before. “Then why—”

“I don’t know, okay?” Magnus interrupted, sounding as frustrated as Alec felt. Eyes wide and sincere. “I don’t _know_. I don’t know what I’m doing or why I came here I just — I thought. And — I know I’m with her, but I couldn’t stand the thought of not coming.”

Alec rubbed the back of his neck, letting out a short, dark laugh. “You shouldn’t have,” he finally said because it was true. Magnus shouldn’t have come. He shouldn’t have made this even harder. It wasn’t fair.

Magnus eyes flashed bright, going from confusion to anger. “Excuse me for thinking this was more than just sex. I thought we were friends.”

“More than sex?” Alec shouted. He didn’t mean to shout, didn’t realize he was but the words were too big to come out as anything else. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, couldn’t believe this whole thing. It didn’t make sense to him. He’d thought they’d been on the same page, thought they’d had an understanding and he knew he was stupid and naive because they lived three thousand miles away and neither had even made the effort to see each other outside of that one week they get a year but he’d thought — and he’d been wrong and he just… Didn’t. Understand. “Of course, it’s more than sex! I’m falling in love with you. I have been since –” Alec cut himself off, looking away and breathing harshly.

The words hung in the air between them, taking up more room than should be possible. Magnus’ eyes went wide before his walls went up, perfectly hiding whatever he was feeling. His adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed. He ran his hands over his pants, shaking his head slowly as he closed his eyes.

Alec could hardly breathe but he didn’t regret the words, he meant them, more than he’d even realized. As impossibly stupid as it was he loved Magnus.

When Magnus finally talked, his voice was low and hoarse, his eyes soft but distant as he shook his head. “You see, that’s the problem, you can’t fall in love in two weeks. We can’t — this — it was never going to work.”

Alec couldn’t get his mouth to work at first, words frozen somewhere in the back of his throat. “Why not?” he finally asked. “Why can’t you fall in love in two weeks?”

“Because,” Magnus said, sighing and running his hands through his hair, tugging slightly. “Because you just _can’t_. That’s not how it works.”

“Says who?”

“Says everyone!” Magnus shouted, finally getting as loud as Alec. Alec spared one thought for whoever was staying in the next room over before his mind was firmly focused back on Magnus. “You have to spend time with someone, get to know them before you can fall in love. You have to — you have to see them for more than one week every winter! You have to not live three thousand miles apart. We don’t even know each other. It’s been two years since we met, and we’ve been with each other for fourteen days out of those two years. It would never work.”

Alec stood completely still, blinking slowly at Magnus. He let his breath out slowly, gathering his thoughts. “You’re scared,” he finally said, he finally _understood_. “That’s what this is all about, you’re scared because we’ve known each other for two years and only spent two weeks together and you’re falling in love with me and that terrifies you. It terrifies me too. How could it not? But… Magnus,” Alec shook his head. “I wanted to _try_.”

The anger melted off Magnus’ face, his cold mask cracking. He turned away before Alec could see what was underneath it. “It doesn’t matter,” he said flatly. “We don’t even know each other. You’re just… Wrapped up in things,” he said, waving his hand as if to dismiss Alec’s words.

Alec shook, hands curling into fists. “We don’t know each other? Then how come I know how you take your coffee and why you got banned from Peru? How do I know that Cat’s your best friend but Ragnor your oldest and Raphael your secret favorite? That you used to get ear infections all the time when you were little, and they came back after you first pierced your ear, but you were too stubborn to give up the piercing? How do I know that you didn’t come back because you want to be my friend but because you missed me as much as I missed you no matter how much you tell yourself that’s not true?” Alec said all of this in a rush, his voice starting soft and getting stronger as he went.

Magnus breathed in harshly. He turned back to face Alec, eyes wide. Alec approached him slowly, carefully, placing his hands on Magnus’ arms but still keeping a distance, still knowing his place. “Do you love her?” he asked because he couldn’t not; because he had to know.

“Do I…” Magnus trailed off, licking his lips.

“Do you love her?”

“I…” Magnus closed his eyes, mouth set in a firm line as he shook his head. “Why does that matter?”

Alec swallowed, shaking his head. “It doesn’t,” he said, letting go of Magnus. Because it didn’t. Whether Magnus loved her or not, he was with her, had picked her, and Alec wouldn’t try to get in the way of that.

“Goodbye, Magnus,” he said, the words barely loud enough to be discernible. He slipped past Magnus, opening the door silently and slipping out before Magnus had time to say a thing.

Alec spent that night and all of New Year’s Eve on his couch, with his cats, trying not to think of Magnus Bane.

***

_Do you love her?_ Magnus heard the question again and again in Alec’s voice, echoing around his head and it was stupid because the answer was so easy, so obvious and yet he’d never seen it before. _No._ He didn’t love Camille. He loved Alec.

***

On the first day of the new year, Alec pulled himself off his couch, showered and went to work like it was any other day, because it was.

***

By the time Magnus boarded the plane he should’ve been too tired to think — he _was_ too tired to think but that didn’t stop him. He’d hoped to spend the flight catching up on sleep as he hadn’t gotten more than a few restless hours every night he spent in New York but it was as if now that he’d admitted to himself that he didn’t love Camille that he, despite himself, loved Alec, he couldn’t turn off his mind, couldn’t stop the revelations that weren’t really revelations at all.

His mind went in circles, again and again, trying to understand his own actions, why he’d done what he’d done. By the time the plane finally landed in London, this is what he’d come up with: He wasn’t in love with Camille and he had never been. The truth was maybe worse and quite the opposite, the realization sitting unpleasantly in the pit of his stomach. He’d chosen Camille because he’d known from the very moment he met her that he would never fall in love with her. She was fun at the best of times and mildly evil and vicious at the worst. She was a distraction because — because Magnus was in love with Alec and Alec was three thousand miles away and – and Magnus didn’t want to be in love with him.

Magnus stopped breathing for a minute. He didn’t want to be in love with Alec, that sounded so much worse than it was because he loved Alec. He _loved_ him. And he loved being with Alec, and he _wanted_ to be in love with Alec, but not when they lived in different countries; not when they only saw each other for one week a year. So, Magnus had tried as hard as he could to _not_ be in love with Alec. And that was hard when he was alone and — and scared of being lonely. So he found Camille, who was beautiful and made him forget for a few minutes that he was in love with someone else and he did his best to convince himself he was happy only clearly he’d failed on all accounts or he never would’ve boarded the plane to New York in the first place.

By the time the plane landed, Magnus knew what he had to do. It was obvious. So obvious that he felt a little like he was going to be sick, shocked at his own actions over the last few days – the last few months.

Magnus went straight to Camille’s flat to break up with her. He wasn’t even that surprised when she responded to this news with the question “How did you find out?”

Magnus had frowned, already suspecting where this conversation was going. “Find out what?”

“That I’m cheating on you?” Camille asked like he was stupid.

Magnus just shook his head. He didn’t even care that much, honestly. He wasn’t hurt. A little angry maybe but then again, he’d been using Camille in his own way. Altogether, he just didn’t care. That was the problem. He didn’t care if Camille was cheating on him but the thought of Alec — whom he had no claim whatsoever on, especially now — even kissing someone else… Made Magnus feel sick to his stomach.

“You’re cheating on me?” he’d asked because it seemed like the thing to do.

“Obviously. If that’s not what this is about than what is it?”

Magnus had taken a deep breath before replying. “I’m in love with someone else.”

Camille didn’t like that, even resorting to promising Magnus to break it off with her other ‘friends’ to try and make them work. Magnus left as soon as he could, feeling guilty but not horribly so.

Back at his own flat, he laid across his lounger, staring up at the ceiling. His flat was large, an open floor plan with high ceilings, large windows, and wooden fixtures. Decorated tastefully, with dark furniture and wooden floors. His paint supplies were set up in front of the windows, his desk in a corner near bookshelves. Late afternoon light came in through the windows but Magnus barely noticed.

He wanted nothing more than to call Alec, an aching in his gut, a tightening in his chest that he knew would only go away if he fixed things, made it all right again. But he also knew that wasn’t going to happen, that it wasn’t fair. He’d hurt Alec and he couldn’t just call him up and tell him he broke up with Camille like that was enough to fix everything that’d gone wrong because of him. He’d ruined it all. Their winter romance, their perfect week. That wild, shaking, crazy love that had been blooming between them since the moment they met.

They were so close to being in love and Magnus had ruined it all. So he didn’t call or text, he simply stood and changed and went to bed relieved at least to no longer be lying to himself. Even if it wasn’t everything he wanted, it was something.

***

Three months passed before Alec knew it. Slowly, he stopped thinking about Magnus so much, stopped relieving their argument, stopped seeing that look on Magnus’ face when Alec asked if he was in love with Camille every time he closed his eyes. He still thought about all those things, still thought about _Magnus,_ but at least it wasn’t so often. He threw himself into work, spending more time with his friends and family, even letting Isabelle and Maryse set him up on a few dates. He knew he’d never forget Magnus, never fully get over him — how could he when they ended before they even had a chance to really see what was between them? — but he thought he was on his way to forgetting enough, getting over him enough, to move on, start a new period in his life. It was both a relief and an ache deep in his chest.

He was walking home after a mediocre date in late March when his phone rang. Pausing, Alec fished it out of his back pocket, excepting Isabelle to be calling already to find out how his newest blind date went (which was decent but not great) and if Alec planned on seeing Jack again (he didn’t, as far as Alec was concerned there was no point stringing someone on when you knew in the first five minutes that there would never be anything real between you). He was so sure it was going to be Isabelle that he almost didn’t even check the caller id, his eyes running right over it before he nearly tripped, heart skidding about his chest at what he thought he’d seen.

Alec closed his eyes, hand tightening around his phone. When he opened them again, phone still ringing in his hand, it still said the same thing. Magnus was calling him.

Alec stood on the street corner, staring blankly down at his phone, barely able to breathe for long enough that the call went to voicemail. Alec breathed out shakily, continuing to stare at his phone as the screen went dark. Why would Magnus call him? Why now, three months later? Had he broken up with Camille? Did he — did he want Alec? Or was it just a butt dial? His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, jumping from question to question with no way of answering them because he hadn’t answered the call.

Alec was just about to slip his phone away when it buzzed once more in his hand.

New voicemail from Magnus Bane.

Alec’s heart skipped, lodging firmly in his throat. It could still be a butt dial he told himself, slipping the phone back into his pocket. He walked a little faster now, telling himself he couldn’t listen until he was in his apartment; telling his heart to stop beating like that because this was nothing. He probably hadn’t meant to call and even if he did he was probably just apologizing for everything that happened or-or he had a pet emergency and had to know if it was okay for a cat to eat chocolate or something. It was nothing to get excited about. He told himself that, but it didn’t seem to do anything to calm his racing pulse.

Alec was too impatient to wait for the elevator so he took the stairs even though he lived on the eighth floor. He was pretty sure he’d never taken the stairs so fast in his life. Pulling his keys from his pocket, he fumbled with opening the door, slipping in quickly before the sound of his cats meowing impatiently could escape — he was still harboring them illegally in his apartment but it’d been two years now and he’d only come close to getting caught the one time Chairman Meow slipped out.

Alec forced himself to take a deep breath, back pressed to the door as he tried to calm himself. It was nothing. Opening his eyes, he found the cats staring up at him with big eyes and pushed off the door to go feed them before listening to the voice mail. Only he didn’t listen to it, he just stared at his phone clutched tight in his hand, pacing from one end of his apartment to the other.

Finally, fed up with himself, Alec let out a soft snort, coming to a stop. He was being stupid. With a deep breath, Alec unlocked his phone and went to his voicemail. His breath hitched his throat as the message began to play.

“I’m sorry.” The words were loud and rushed like Magnus had blurted them out. It was hard to hear the words over the chatter in the background and it didn’t take Alec long to realize Magnus had been in a bar when he’d called. It only took another minute for him to realize Magnus had called and left a voicemail while drunk.

“I know I’m too late — it’s too late. I should’ve said it a long time ago but I’m sorry. Alexander—” Alec’s heart skipped at the sound of Magnus’ voice on the verge of breaking as he said Alec’s name. “You were right, I didn’t love her, and I was stupid and scared — so scared because what I feel for you? It’s like…fireworks or - or magic. And it’s fucking _terrifying_. It’s actually hard to breathe around you sometimes. And I was scared and lonely and I thought if I moved on I’d get over you and — and that was stupid because I don’t want to move and I don’t think I can ever get over you because I’ve barely spent twenty days with you in two years but - but I _know_ whatever is — was — between us it… it’s not something I can forget or get over. And I’m so, so sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you, and I’m sorry I was too much of a coward to see what I was doing, and I’m sorry for that stupid Facebook status. And — and I’m sorry but I think I might really love you and I’m sorry I ruined everything. I’m just — I’m sorry.”

Alec could barely breathe as he restarted the message, listening to it again and again. After the fifth or sixth time, Alec slid his phone into his pocket, turning and falling face first across his bed, trying to process everything Magnus had said. It was…a lot. And the worst part was Magnus was clearly drunk, what if he didn’t even remember it in the morning?

Alec fell asleep listening to the message again.

***

A week passed after Magnus’ stupid drunk phone call to Alec. He supposed he should be happy that Alec didn’t answer the phone but that was a little hard when Magnus was busy panicking over the stupid, terribly vulnerable voicemail. Not to mention that it’d been a week and Alec hadn’t said a word. Maybe he got lucky and Alec had changed his number. Maybe Alec just didn’t care. Magnus’ apology was a few months too late after all.

He had at least managed to remember the whole thing the next morning, through his pounding headache and the terrible taste in his mouth. He’d texted Alec for the first time in months that morning, apologizing but telling him he meant every word, not that he expected it to matter, he just… Didn’t want Alec to think that the only reason he’d said those things was because he was drunk.

The following week, Magnus was zoning out, grading papers, when his phone buzzed on the coffee table. Sighing in relief, Magnus tossed the latest mediocre paper away, reaching past his empty wine glass for his phone. His heart stuttered to a stop when he saw who the message was from, breath catching in the back of his throat.

Magnus unlocked his phone, quickly pulling up the full message. He went through multiple emotions in a very short period of time, confusion to clarity, nervous to disappointed, finally landing somewhere in the area of…hopeful. It was a short message, barely anything at all, yet it was everything to Magnus.

**Winter Love:** You didn’t ruin everything.

Magnus fell back on the couch, biting his lip on a smile. He stared at the screen for he didn’t know how long, everything around him fading to background noise as he tried to decide whether or not he should reply and, if he did. what he should say before deciding he had nothing to lose. If everything Magnus had done and everything he’d said in that voicemail weren’t enough to scare Alec off, replying to his message wouldn’t.

**Magnus:** really?

Magnus didn’t have to wait long this time, Alec’s reply coming no more than a minute or two later.

**Winter love:** I mean, you made a valiant effort but you’re not that good.

Magnus chuckled, more out of relief than anything, stretching out fully on the couch, chest shaking with laughter as he shook his head a big part of him not quite believing this was real.

**Magnus** : I’d say I’ll try harder next time but I’d really rather not.

**Winter Love:** good.

**Winter Love:** How’s the cats playing poker painting coming?

Magnus snorted, shaking his head. All he could think as he replied was _god, he’d missed this._ As they bantered back and forth for the next couple hours Magnus realized just how right Alec was, they did know each other, and he was so glad to know Alec even if he might have ruined his chance of there ever being something more than friendship between them.

***

In late May, Alec took a trip with Clary to L.A. He didn’t particularly want to go but, well, as Isabelle pointed out, Alec was long past time to take a vacation and he’d always wanted to go to L.A. The reason for the trip was that Clary had been invited to show a few pieces in a new up and coming gallery that she was excited about and Jace couldn’t go because of work. Clary was just going to take Simon but Alec had long since stopped hating Clary, would even grudgingly admit she was one of his best friends, so when Simon suggested Alec tag along with the two of them he’d (eventually and reluctantly) agreed.

They were only there for a long weekend, getting in two days before the gallery opening. They spent those two days exploring L.A. and the surrounding area before going to the gallery opening their last night.

So far, it had been more enjoyable than Alec had expected. As much as he loved New York, it was nice to be away from it for a few days. Even Simon seemed slightly less annoying in a new city. They’d spent a half day at Disneyland, Alec making the same half glare every time one of the two of them insisted he pose with a character but even that had been pretty fun. The highlight, though, was Simon and Clary getting drunk in the hotel room the night before. That had been thoroughly amusing for Alec.

The gallery was fairly small with no more than fifty or so people present and browsing. The building itself was all sharp corners and pure white walls with stainless steel fixtures. Very bright and…millennial. They’d already gone and gawked at Clary’s paintings. Simon and Alec getting along long enough for them to talk loudly about just how amazing the artist was, using a bunch of words neither of them knew what exactly meant but had heard Clary say enough that it sounded half decent while Clary laughed and glared at them from a safe distance.

Now, they stood around the center of the gallery, sipping champagne and munching on finger foods.

“How long do we have to stay here again?” Simon asked through a mouthful of shrimp.

Alec shook his head in disdain, tipping back his champagne flute as his eyes roamed idly around the room. He wasn’t expecting to see anyone he recognized, maybe that was why it took him a moment to realize he _did_ recognize someone.

“I don’t know,” Clary said, sighing. “I mean, I love having my work shown but I never know what to do at these places.”

“Eat shrimp.”

Alec rolled his eyes before looking around the room once again, something familiar tugging in his gut, making him look more slowly this time, eyes sliding over a dozen faces he didn’t recognize before — oh. _Oh._

Alec froze, briefly tensing up, sure he must be seeing things.

“Is that who I think it is?” Clary asked, following Alec’s gaze.

He wasn’t seeing things. Swallowing the last of his champagne, Alec nodded. He bit his lip on a laugh, shaking his head. Of course, he would run into Magnus here, at an art show he shouldn’t have been at, thousands of miles away from where either of them should’ve been because that was Alec’s life.

His gaze roamed over Magnus as his mind spun quickly, going through all his options. Should he pretend he hadn’t seen Magnus? That would be hard when they were currently staring right at each other. Should he ignore him? Alec didn’t think that was possible even if he wanted to which he didn’t. He really didn’t.

Magnus wore dark red dress pants, a dark waistcoat, and a deep gray button up with the top buttons undone, making his necklaces glint against his bronze skin in the bright room. There was a streak of crimson in his hair that was spiked up, a smirk playing across his face as he stared at Alec and Alec, god, Alec was so happy to see him he couldn’t breathe for a minute. They’d been texting (a lot) for the last month. Alec had told himself it was a bad idea but he couldn’t help it. Still, he’d thought — worried — they’d never see each other again and now here Magnus was, feet away.

There were so many reasons Alec shouldn’t approach him, ranging from the hurt he still felt thinking about the last time they saw each other straight to the fact that they still lived a million miles apart, but there was one very convincing reason why he should: because he wanted to. He wanted to see Magnus, talk to Magnus. He wanted — he wanted so much: to know if Magnus still tasted the same, still felt the same, if they still worked together but, for now, he would be content with just this; just seeing him, talking to him. It was more than enough. More than he’d dared to hope he would get.

***

It hadn’t occurred to Magnus even once that he might run into Alec here. He wasn’t even in New York. What were the chances of Alec (who wasn’t an artist) being in L.A. for the gallery showing Magnus (an artist) was offered a spot in? Magnus didn’t know but they couldn’t have been that high. And yet, here Magnus was, casually walking through the gallery, a glass of champagne in his hand, and there Alec was, unmistakably recognizable as he smirked sarcastically, rolling his eyes at whatever Clary was saying next to him.

Magnus knew that Clary was an artist, it was the only reason Alec had been at that first gallery way back when they first met, but what were the chances of them both being shown in _this_ gallery, at the same time, and that she would bring Alec as her plus one?

“Oh dear. You’ve gone a little pale, is it the champagne? Or the shrimp? Which should I avoid?”

Magnus was pulled out of his thoughts by his own plus one. Ragnor was dressed in a rather old-fashioned suit, staring around the room with distaste written clear across his face.

“What?” Magnus asked, distracted.

Ragnor followed Magnus’ gaze as his eyes automatically turned back to Alec who — had seen him. Magnus’ heart skipped painfully, panic filling his gut even though that was stupid. Alec’s gaze was sharp, eyes shining even from across the room, lit by the sparkling chandelier above them and this was so much like the first time they met that Magnus was having trouble breathing, torn between memories of then and what was happening now.

“Tall, dark, and handsome,” Ragnor said slowly. “Would I be wrong in assuming this is your so-called winter lover?”

Magnus swallowed dryly, nodding once, barely registering Ragnor’s words. Alec was still staring at him, mouth curving up in a small, almost smile like he too was remembering. Magnus breathed in shallowly unable to read anything else on Alec’s face, was he happy to see Magnus? Or was he just thinking that this was crazy, impossible? Did he want to talk to Magnus or —

Before Magnus could finish the thought, Alec was touching Clary’s arm, nodding towards Magnus before moving towards him.

“I’ll just be over here,” Ragnor said, taking a few steps back. “I have to eavesdrop, I’m sure you understand, Raphael would never forgive me if I don’t.”

Magnus waved him away, not paying him the least bit of attention as Alec got closer, the same almost smile on his face. He was dressed more casually than Magnus in dark (tight) jeans and a plain black button-up, the sleeves rolled up, his hair a little longer but still as messy as ever.

He came to a slow stop in front of Magnus who was trying to remember to breathe. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Alec ducked his head a little. “Hey,” he said.

Air rushed back into Magnus’ lungs as he longed to lean forward but forced himself to hold back. This was real. Alec was here. And — and Magnus didn’t know what, but he should probably say something. Anything. Lots of things. It wasn’t as painful and awkward as it could’ve been considering they’d spent the last month and a half texting regularly but, well, they hadn’t talked and, more importantly, they hadn’t talked about this, them, the important bits.

Part of Magnus had thought they’d never actually see each other again. He was so glad to be wrong, even if this didn’t end the way he suddenly desperately wanted it too.

There was only one way to start. Exhaling, Magnus felt his own mouth curve up in a smile. “Hey.”

***

“So,” Alec said, biting his lip on a smile because he felt suddenly ridiculous. Last time he’d seen Magnus he’d all but shouted at him that he was in love with him and now, here they were, months later and he just — he was still hurt and angry but god, he’d missed Magnus.

“So…” Magnus replied before rolling his eyes and smirking.

Alec thought that maybe he should still be angry, that maybe he shouldn’t just forgive Magnus and he knew they needed to talk — about a lot of things — but all of that was secondary to the relief and excitement he felt because Magnus was here. In front of him. Warm and solid and real.

“Can we talk?” Magnus asked, nodding towards the back of the gallery where there was a small paved courtyard lit with fairy lights, the gallery’s back doors open to allow in the warm L.A. breeze.

Alec nodded without hesitating, following Magnus outside, biting his lip on a smile when Magnus turned back not once, not twice, but three times to make sure Alec was following. They found a small stone bench off to the side, where the chatter and soft music from inside couldn’t reach them, just the fairy lights and the sounds of a busy L.A. night, mixed with the soft flow of water from the stone waterfall in the middle of the little courtyard. They sat close, their knees touching, both breathing deep and even.

Magnus stared at the point where their knees touched for a moment before looking up to meet Alec’s gaze. Alec was already looking back, heart hammering louder and louder by the moment.

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” he said eventually.

Alec shrugged. “I didn’t expect to see you here either. But,” he added, mind suddenly turning back to a painting that had caught his eye earlier in the night, made him hesitate because something about it just felt…familiar. It should’ve, it was of his couch he suddenly realized. And his window, spilling light across the two lovers entwined on it. Done in soft strokes and dark colors. “I think I saw your painting earlier. I love it.”

Magnus smiled, eyes brightening before he shook his head and glanced away, biting his lip. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s…amazing.”

Magnus shrugged. “It’s nothing great. I don’t know why they even wanted it.”

Alec snorted. Magnus turned to him with a fake glare, eyes shining, catching Alec off guard because that was a look he had dreamed of. “Come on,” Alec said, rolling his eyes. “We both know why they wanted it, don’t play coy.”

Magnus smirked. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

And it was just so _easy_ falling back into their banter, just like it’d been over texts. It was easy to be here, with Magnus, to act like nothing had changed, like the last winter had never happened, nothing had ever gone wrong. Part of Alec wanted to just go with it, just pretend everything was perfect and had always been, pretend it could be everything he’d wanted and more and yet… This wasn’t a movie. They weren’t guaranteed a happy ending and, as much as Alec wanted that, as much as he wanted Magnus, he wasn’t sure he wanted to risk having his heart shattered again. It’d — it’d _killed him._ Having Magnus come back, just like they’d talked about, only to find out he was still with someone else. It’d made him feel… Like shit. Like he wasn’t worth waiting for or coming back for. Like he wasn’t worth staying away for because, after everything, it would’ve been kinder for Magnus to have never come at all. To have instead broken his heart from afar and pretended none of it had ever happened.

So, even though he’d missed Magnus like he was some vital part of Alec; even though he wanted nothing more than to shove the past under the rug and tug Magnus to him, he didn’t. The smile fell from his mouth as he breathed in deeply, his lungs unwilling to expand as far as normal, throat tight. Alec stared at the water fountain, then down at his hands, Magnus’ shoes and then finally, at Magnus who was watching him intently, a serious look on his face. There was a careful distance between them on the bench. Alec thought he should say something but he didn’t know what.

“I owe you an apology, Alexander.”

“You already apologized.”

“A real one.”

Alec bit his lip, waving for Magnus to continue. Not because he wanted to hear it, or because he thought Magnus owed it to him, but because he thought, maybe, they both needed it. And maybe Magnus did owe it to him. As much as Alec hated it, as much as he tried to squash it, there was a part of him that was still angry at Magnus, that wanted him to leave right now, that thought he’d ruined everything. Magnus had ruined everything. Not by seeing someone else because, as much as that hurt Alec and as much as he hated, he couldn’t blame Magnus for that. They’d never agreed to be anything but what they were; two people who spent one week together every year. No, Magnus had ruined things by coming back that year, by tainting all their shared memories. But, if there was anything Alec and learned about relationships from this whole thing, it was that they took effort and he knew — he _knew_ — that it was worth it, with Magnus. That it was worth hearing him out and it was worth trying again, even if he could end up heartbroken all over again.

Magnus stood suddenly and began pacing back and forth, fingers rubbing together in a nervous tick. “For months,” he finally started, turning to face Alec from a few feet away. His hair was dark, eyes glimmering brightly under the fairy lights. “For months I’ve been planning this moment in my head. Imagining what I would say to you if we saw each other again and… And now that I’m here, I find myself at a loss for words.”

Magnus took a deep breath, smoothing his hands over his pants. He straightened up before exhaling. Shaking his head, he made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob. “I’m so sorry, Alexander.” He said it softly, with a small shake of his head, eyes wide and vulnerable.

Alec swallowed dryly.

“It’s not your fault you fell in love with someone else,” he found himself saying. His heart gave a painful tug at the look on Magnus’ face, wide eyes filled with regret, mouth turned down slightly.

“No,” Magnus agreed, shaking his head slowly. “But I wasn’t in love with her. I was just…scared of what I felt for you. I’ve never felt it like that before, like _this_ before. And you were so far away and the more time that passed, the more I convinced myself that I was imagining things, that it would never work because we don’t even live on the same continent. And then…she was there. And I didn’t even like her that much and I’m terrible, really, I am, because I think I chose her because I knew I could never love her. I didn’t want to fall in love with someone else I just wanted —” Magnus closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. “I just wanted to fall out of love with you.”

Alec had thought nothing could possibly feel worse than the moment that he saw Magnus’ Facebook status change, or surely, nothing could be worse than the way his heart had soared and then shattered when Magnus showed up at his door the day after Christmas. But this… This was even worse. The words landed like a punch to his gut, making him gasp slightly, chest constricting, heart aching. He could do nothing but stare at Magnus, letting the emotions run over him.

Magnus opened his eyes slowly, adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. “And I’m so, so sorry. I don’t know why I did that except that I was scared of… of everything. And I’m not trying to make excuses, I swear, I’m just trying to explain. And I understand if you can’t forgive me — gods, of course, I do. But —” Magnus straightened up, returning to sit next to Alec who’d gone back to staring at his own hands, braced on his knees like he was ready to make a swift exit.

His chest was constricting around his heart, everything he’d felt over the course of the last year flooding him at once. It was too much, this was all too much. He didn’t know what he’d expected Magnus to say but this wasn’t it.

Alec breathed deeply as Magnus sat, eyes closing. He just needed a minute to breathe, to think. Part of him wanted to be angry but the rest — the rest couldn’t blame Magnus because he understood. This was scary. Falling in love was scary. Being in love was scary. And falling in love over the course of two weeks when you lived thousands of miles apart? That was completely terrifying. He couldn’t blame Magnus if he didn’t want that. Alec himself hadn’t exactly imagined things happening this way and fuck, it hurt. Mostly, Alec found, he just wanted to know if it’d worked. If Magnus had managed to fall out of love with him.

“But?” Alec prompted once he remembered how to breathe.

Magnus turned to Alec, clearly waiting for him to meet his gaze. Alec took another deep breath, steeling himself for he didn’t know what. Magnus’ eyes were wide and soft, pools of melted chocolate. A strand of hair fell in his face and Alec only just managed not to reach out and put it back in place.

“But,” Magnus said, pausing to lick his lips, an action Alec did not follow with his eyes. “It didn’t really work. Falling out of love with you.”

“Oh?”

“No.”

“And… Are you sad it didn’t?”

Magnus’ mouth turned up in a small, sweet smile. His eyes shined under the fairy lights. His touch sent sparking flying through Alec’s body when he grabbed Alec’s hand. He shook his head. “No. I’m quite glad, really.”

***

Four months later, in early October, Magnus found himself in New York once again. He’d been invited to a symposium at NYU and had (admittedly) jumped at the opportunity. Autumn had fully taken over the city, the leaves turning to bright shades of red and yellow, falling to the ground so each step you took on campus had them crackling under your feet. The air held that crispness unique to fall and pumpkins were being sold at every store. The symposium ran long and rain threatened overhead but nothing could stop Magnus’ good mood.

If he were being honest, he’d even admit that he’d been barely paying attention during the symposium, his mind firmly locked on something else. Something he’d been thinking about since he got off the plane — hell, since he first agreed to come to the symposium. He’d presented a paper he’d written on the subject but honestly even that was blur in his mind as he walked back across campus. He’d been put up at a nice hotel but didn’t plan on spending much time there — or any save for the time he’d taken when he first landed to get in a quick nap, shower, and get ready. He’d also been invited to a dinner with some of the other professors to which he’d politely declined, claiming he had friends in the city he’d promised to visit. Which was only half a lie, he did have friends in the city even if they weren’t the ones he was visiting, and he did have a certain special someone who he was planning on visiting though he hadn’t told him he was coming.

Ever since that night in L.A. things had been… Good. Really good. They’d spent that whole night talking until late into the morning. They’d gone and gotten waffles and caught up and, most importantly, talked openly about how they felt and what they wanted. It’d been…hard, difficult to talk about, to admit how much they already cared for each other but how little they still knew about each other. It was so easy to sink into the feeling that they’d known each other forever but they hadn’t. So, they’d acknowledged that, and how quickly they’d fallen for each other, and how much they wanted this to work but how afraid they both were that it couldn’t exist outside of that one week every winter. And then —

Magnus grinned, remembering it. They’d ended up at this waffle place at four in the morning, sitting on the same side of the table, Magnus turned to face Alec head on. They’d been talking for hours and now they were just staring at each other and trying not to grin.

“So…we’re trying?” Alec had asked. “Not just a one-week thing.”

Magnus had bit his lip on a smile, nodding. “Yeah. We’re trying. Like an actual you’re the only person I see and I’m the only person you see thing. A trial run. We see how it goes, I come back to New York for New Year’s and we…reassess.”

“This all sounds so formal.”

“Maybe it’s better this way. The old way didn’t really work.” Magnus had tried to apologize again then and Alec had snatched his plate of waffles from his hands, threatening to throw them away if Magnus didn’t stop apologizing.

“If we do this,” he’d said. “We’re starting over. Clean plate. Okay?”

Magnus had nodded, accepting his plate back with a small smile. “Okay.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

They hadn’t even so much as kissed, but they had spent the last few hours before Magnus’ flight together. The last four months — well, they’d sucked in part because they still weren’t together together, in the same place at the same time. But they’d been good. They texted a lot, talked, skyped all the time. It felt… real. Not like some fantasy he lived out every winter. And now, here he was, back in New York for a long weekend.

He’d worried, for a moment, that things would be different, that they’d reassess early and realize they didn’t want to do this, but then he’d realized that was stupid. He loved Alec, as dumb as that may sound considering everything. The last four months had only made him fall more in love with him as they really, truly got to know each other. And Alec felt the same. He knew it. Not only because Alec had said but because Alec never would’ve forgiven him if he hadn’t.

By the time his cab dropped him off outside Alec’s apartment — after stopping to pick up Magnus’ bag from the hotel he didn’t plan on returning to — all of Magnus’ anxiety had worn off. He didn’t have to worry — or maybe he still did worry but he knew, however this went, he’d never regret coming here, coming back, to Alec; to this stranger, powerful, magical thing that was between them.

Anticipation crawled up his spine as he stepped into Alec’s building, riding the elevator up to his floor. It had, of course, occurred to him that Alec might not be home but… He could always wait. Walking down the hall to Alec’s apartment, Magnus was torn between the past and the present, remembering walking this way that first time, when they barely knew each other, had only spent a night wandering an art gallery and playing pool, sharing kisses but nothing more. And the second year, when he’d been so nervous and worried about what Alec would think of him just showing up again. And then there was last year — Magnus cut his thoughts, blinking to bring the present back.

Alec had gotten a welcome mat that sat in the hall outside his door, it had an orange kitten on it and said ‘me-wow’. Biting his lip on a snort, Magnus shook his head. He didn’t hesitate, knocking softly on the door before leaning against the door frame, smirk already in place.

His heart was hammering louder than ever as he waited, palms sweating. He heard footsteps approaching, the slide of the lock and then the door was open and Alec — Magnus’ breath lodge somewhere in the back of his throat. Alec looked just as he always did, tall and adorable with his hair a little too long and his five o’ clock shadow lingering, hazel eyes going wide and bright as they fell on Magnus. Devastatingly handsome was another description that came to mind as Magnus let his eyes travel across Alec’s familiar face and down to a plain dark blue shirt with a small hole near the hem, and a pair of loose black sweats that hung low on his hips.

Magnus’ eyes traveled back up, smirk growing wider.

And Alec — Alec just looked at Magnus like he wasn’t even surprised to see him. A small smile curving up his mouth, eyes turning soft as he leaned against the door. “Hey,” he said, voice soft with affection.

It took Magnus a minute to remember how to breathe, how to speak. “Hey,” he finally managed.

Alec’s eyes shown as he stepped back, holding his arm out, head tilted to the side, gesturing Magnus in. “Perfect timing, I was just starting dinner.”

Magnus bit his lip on a laugh, shaking his head. He hadn’t dared to hope it could be this easy, could it be this easy? He stepped into the apartment, past Alec. The curtains were open, windows cracked to let in the cool autumn breeze and the failing sunlight, casting the room in a dim glow. The lights in the kitchen were on, ingredients spread across the counters. There was a new cat tree in the corner and two cat beds but the cats themselves were on the couch, curled up on opposite ends. Mostly though, it was exactly as he remembered. Exactly as he’d depicted in his painting.

Magnus breathed deeply, smelling Alec, warm and comforting. Rich coffee and pine, mixed with something Magnus couldn’t name but never failed to bring back memories of being pressed close to the other man.

Alec shut the door softly. Turning, Magnus dropped his bag to the ground when Alec reached out, grabbing his arm and lightly tugging him close. Magnus’ heart skipped, stomach fluttering as Alec wrapped his arms around him. Magnus melted into the hug, wrapping his arms around Alec’s middle, head turned to rest on his chest. They stood there for a minute, just breathing each other in. Magnus was overwhelmed for a moment with the realization that this was real. He was in New York. With Alec. And he just…fit here.

Magnus turned his head, grip tightening around Alec who didn’t seem to mind, recuperating as his hands gripped Magnus’ shirt. Magnus breathed deeply, something inside him settling for the first time in a long time.

***

Alec didn’t know how long they stood there, arms wrapped around each other, not saying anything, not doing anything other than holding each other tightly. It had to have been a while, at least fifteen minutes, and yet it still felt like too soon when they finally let each other go. Alec’s heart beat faster with the thought that he wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready to let Magnus go.

It was weird in that it wasn’t weird. Alec hadn’t been expecting Magnus because why would he? Magnus hadn’t mentioned coming to New York. And yet… he wasn’t surprised at all to open his door to find Magnus smirking at him, dressed in a suit that he wore far too well, makeup perfect, a splash of blond in his hair. Of course, Magnus was there, of course, this was happening. How else was the night going to go?

“Hungry?” Alec asked when they finally pulled apart.

Magnus nodded with a small smile, following Alec to the kitchen. He left his bag where it fell, discarding his suit jacket on a chair as he went. Left in a dark vest over a dark shirt, Magnus carefully rolled up his sleeves before washing his hands.

“What are we making?” Magnus asked.

“Spaghetti.”

Magnus arched an eyebrow prompting Alec to throw a kitchen towel at him. “Hey, I make great spaghetti.”

Magnus smirked. “Oh, I’m sure you do.”

Alec shook his head, forcing himself to look away from Magnus and get back to business. They fell into sync next to each other, working seamlessly. It didn’t take long for them to fall into conversation, bantering back and forth, teasing each other when one of the spices made Magnus sneeze or Alec nearly cut himself when chopping garlic, too busy watching Magnus stretch on his tiptoes to reach the wine Alec kept out of Isabelle’s reach.

“I never knew I could be so bored by a subject I love so much,” Magnus was saying, idly stirring the sauce as he recounted his day’s events at the university.

Alec leaned back against the sink, watching Magnus as he continued talking, gesturing with his hands and nearly sending sauce flying. Alec bit his lip on a grin, shaking his head. Magnus looked good in his kitchen, in his apartment, like he fit there perfectly.

Alec had been counting down the days until the week after Christmas but without so much intensity. It was different this time, after running into each other in L.A., putting everything out in the open, on the line. It was better because they were admitting that they wanted this, each other, wanted it to work and they were trying instead of pretending for an entire year that they didn’t care, didn’t want each other. It was freeing in a way. It made him feel less desperate now that Magnus was here. He didn’t feel like he had to rush, had to fit a whole years’ worth of emotion and affection into one week. Magnus wasn’t here for long — just the weekend — but, as much as he would hate to see Magnus go again, he would know this time that it wasn’t the end for them.

Magnus turned, catching Alec watching him and flashing a smile. “What are you thinking about?” he asked, turning the stove down before crossing to Alec’s side of the kitchen. He stepped close, resting his hands on Alec’s hips.

Alec smiled lazily, shrugging as he let his hands glide up Magnus’ arms. Achingly happy that this was real, Magnus was here. “You,” he admitted after a minute.

Magnus smirked. “How could you not?”

Alec rolled his eyes. Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to Magnus’ cheek before slipping past him. “Come on, there’s still more work to do.”

***

They ate dinner on the couch, pressed close while drinking wine and watching a movie that Magnus forgot the plot of immediately, too busy eating and talking to Alec to pay attention. Alec didn’t seem to mind.

Once both their plates were clear and their glasses empty, Alec moved, setting them on the coffee table before tugging Magnus close. They spent the rest of the movie snuggling on the couch, breathing in sync. Magnus had to bite his lip not to smile, pressed back against Alec’s chest with Alec’s arm around him, their hands clasped together. He turned his head at one point, pressing a kiss to the back of Alec’s hand. It was a thought, in the depths of Magnus’ mind, that this could be what it was like all the time, if they didn’t live so far apart. This could be his life one day, coming home to Alec, cooking together before cuddling on the couch. It was a big thought, a terrifying thought, making his pulse race, chest constrict for a moment but… it wasn’t a bad thought.

Magnus was half asleep by the time the movie ended, lulled by the steady beat of Alec’s heart, the warmth of being so close to him — and a little dead because of the jet lag. Alec moved, turning off the tv before standing. Magnus whimpered softly, sinking further into the couch.

Alec laughed, reaching down for Magnus’ hands and tugging on them. “Come on,” he said, amusement clear in his soft voice. “Time for bed.”

Magnus sighed but let himself be pulled to his feet. It was only when he was standing, far closer to Alec than he intended, that Magnus realized how badly he’d wanted to kiss Alec all night. Blinking, Magnus shifted even closer, noting how Alec’s eyes darkened. Magnus placed a hand on Alec’s chest, over his heart. He was suddenly wide awake as they just stood there for a moment, watching each other closely. Magnus was very aware of the fact that they hadn’t kissed in a long time. Far too long.

Magnus swallowed dryly, shivering as Alec’s hands came up, one gripping his hip and urging him closer, the other brushing over Magnus’ cheek before carefully cupping his face. Magnus’ mouth went dry as he stared into Alec’s eyes, shifting infinitesimally closer.

“Hey,” Alec said, voice hoarse.

Magnus rolled his eyes, moving his hand to the back of Alec’s neck and rising up to meet him. “Hey,” he said, just before their lips met.

They’d kissed lots of times, not nearly enough but dozens and dozens, and yet this one was somehow different from all the rest. It was soft and slow, exploring like this was something new because it felt like something new. Their lips just brushing softly before melding together. Magnus’ heart leapt as he melted against Alec, hand curling in Alec’s shirt to tug him even closer. Alec’s hands fell to his hips, gripping him tight. It was a soft, slow kiss, not leading anywhere but somehow that made it all the sweeter. It was a kiss, Magnus thought, that was worth waiting nearly two years for.

Alec pulled back slowly. Magnus followed, pulling him into another kiss before letting him go.

Pressing his forehead to Magnus’, eyes closed, Alec asked softly, “Stay?”

Magnus’ heart skipped at the familiar question.

Alec’s eyes opened slowly. “Stay here tonight? For the rest of the weekend?”

Leaning in, Magnus kissed him deeply. “Yes.”

Alec smiled sleepily, tangling their hands together and tugging Magnus with him as he walked backwards. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos/comments are life! Do let me know what you thought of this chapter in the comments or scream at me on [Tumblr @imawriteriwrite](http://imawriteriwrite.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> Not sure when the next chapter will be up but as soon as possible (follow my tumblr for more updates!)


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